Chagecha Ragecha!
by Roxius
Summary: A somewhat spiritual sequel to my Kyokusetsu Bo-bobo fic, but it's all about Yoshio Sawai's new manga Chagecha and the characters getting involved with crazy yankee battles! Number 2 of my Sawai Trilogy! Please R & R!
1. Stew Beef and Tomatoes

A/N: The first chapter of 'Chagecha Ragecha', the spiritual sequel to 'Kyokusetsu Bobobo-Bo Bo-bobo'! It focuses on the main characters of Yoshio Sawai's new manga 'Chagecha', but only the first chapter will be put up for now because I need to wait for more chapters of the manga to be scanlated to learn more about the characters and their techniques. Please review in the mean-time, though, and tell me what you think! It's kind of short, but they can't all be as long as chapter 59 of Kyokusetsu, right?!

This fic definitely won't follow the format of the actual manga to the exact point, though, so some errors may be seen.

Also, read the Chagecha manga chapters on MangaFox for more information.

Also also, 'Ragecha' doesn't really mean anything. It just kind of rhymes with 'Chagecha'.

* * *

_**CHAGECHA RAGECHA**_

_It was another peaceful day (if that's even possible to obtain in Gure-Tokyo) at Gekiatsu High School..._

Chagecha let out a sigh as he slipped a large cigar in between his lips. The winds were calm and the sun was high in the sky, shining its brilliant rays down on the populace. As usual, Chagecha was lying out on the roof of the school, and the other members were busy keeping them entertained for the day.

"I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO SHUT ME UP!"

"SHUT IT UP!"

"I CAN'T WAIT FOR YOU TO SHUT ME UP!"

"SHUT IT UP!"

For some reason, Mysterious Tiger Mask (A.K.A. Tiger Mask) was busy playing an extreme game of shogi against Usagi. Blood was pouring down their faces, and they both seemed near the end of their lives. Longhorn Onizawa was busy cowering behind Wakana Kotarou, who remained as stoic and silent as ever.

Washio Kouzan was trying to get his Teacher's Degree by practicing the teaching skills he learned off the Internet with Zenkaiten Doraji.

Holding up a piece of paper with the letter 'A' written on it, Kouzan asked, "...Now tell me, what do you think this says?"

Peering closely, little Doraji scratched his chin and replied, "Uh...I think it says 'Freelancers of the Republic of China have small ding-dongs'?"

Kouzan blinked a few times, and then stared at the paper himself. "Holy crap...you're right!"

Meanwhile, Kawai Himawari and Masato were just lying around alongside Chagecha.

Sitting up, Masato yawned and grunted, "Man...it's so boring around here. Why do we even bother coming to school anyway if we don't even go to class?"

Suddenly, a brick flew into Masato's head and knocked him unconscious. "IF YOU THINK IT'S SO BORING, THIS LIFE," Tiger Mask snapped furiously, "THEN WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND DIE?!"

An awkward silence filled everyone's hearts.

Tiger Mask gasped. "No...no...I get it now! This existence isn't really an existence at all! It is...the anti-existence! I need Neo(1) to come and save me! I want to be a hero, Neo! I want to be a hero! Please!!" Spinning around, he ran towards the fence surrounding the edges of the roof and leaped over them, the ground many feet below.

"GOODBYE...MY FRIENDS!" he cried before he plummeted downwards out of view from the others.

Another awkward silence filled everyone's hearts.

"...Finally." Kotarou muttered.

After a moment, a loud rumbling sound filled the air. Cupping his hands over his ears, Masato shouted, "GAH...WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!"

Getting to a stand, Chagecha brushed himself off and said, "Hmm...seems like a fight's coming our way..."

Suddenly, a giant pillar resembling a totem pole rose up from the ground down below, and Tiger Mask was seen holding onto the side of the pillar for dear life. Standing on the top of the pillar was a man. He jumped off and landed on the roof in front of Chagecha and the others, allowing them a better look at this sudden stranger.

He had a tall green mohawk that ran from the top of his head down to the tip of his ass-crack. Several spike-like pimples covered his greasy face, and he had piss-yellow eyes that seemed devoid of any dignity. Cackling mightily, a long forked tongue rolled out of the disgusting opponent's sharp-jawed mouth.

"You are...Chagecha, correct? Keh heh ehh!" snickered this odd enemy, "I am Orochebi(2)! I have been sent by the leaders of Shinu-Tokyo(3) to personally eliminate you!"

"W...Wait a minute! Shinu-Tokyo?! Uh...there's only one Tokyo, pal." Masato said.

Orochebi sneered. "Oh? Look up, you squid boy..."

'...squid boy...?'

Glancing upwards, Masato saw what looked like a huge island hovering overhead, enshrouding all of Tokyo in darkness. Several small geese were busy flapping away underneath, apparently keeping the giant landmass afloat.

"WHY...WHY DIDN'T I NOTICE THAT UNTIL NOW?!" Masato cried, his eyes bugging out of his head.

Stepping forward, Himawari snapped, "Just what are you freaks planning?"

"FREAKS?! PLANNING?! YOU'RE ACTING LIKE YOU KIND OF UNDERSTAND JUST WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON...WHILE I'M TOTALLY LOST!" Masato exclaimed.

Chagecha crossed his arms and spat at Orochebi's clawed feet. "Let me guess," he said, "You guys...ARE FANS OF WEEKLY SHONEN JUMP, RIGHT?!"

"HEY, HEY, HEY! THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT'S GOING ON...I THINK!" Masato told him.

Orochebi gasped. 'This man...somehow, he knew one of Shinu-Tokyo's most deepest secrets! And...' he glanced down at Chagecha's shoes, 'And...he wears Crocs! That bastard!'

Getting into a fighting stance, Chagecha said, "If you guys think you can just come in and take over Gure-Tokyo for your own evil purposes, you've got another thing coming!"

'So...that's what they plan on doing, these new villains of ours?' Masato wondered. Suddenly, Himawari punched him in the face and snapped, "YOU GET WAY TOO MANY LINES, EVEN IF SOME OF THEM ARE JUST THOUGHTS!"

'Hey...at least you get lines too, Himawari...' thought Doraji.

'Hey...at least you get lines too, Himawari...' thought Kouzan.

'Hey...at least you get lines too, Himawari...' thought Kotarou.

'...Dude.' thought Longhorn Onizawa.

Removing the gloves on his hands, Orochebi revealed that instead of fingers, he had long sharp claws stained in blood. Licking one of them, Orochebi chuckled. He then bent down into a charging stance and proclaimed, "If you can defeat me, Chagecha...then you will be allowed to enter our city of Shinu-Tokyo, and face the 'Five Masters' and their loyal allies who await you..."

'Ooh...I hope they're serving cold ramen in the cafeteria today...' Chagecha pondered with a little hungry grin.

"HE'S NOT EVEN PAYING ATTENTION!" Masato cried.

"ARGH...YOU'LL REGRET NOT TAKING ME SERIOUSLY!" Orochebi snapped, and he ran at Chagecha, his giant claws bared. However, by the time he took a swipe, Chagecha had already gotten behind him.

"...Hmph. Easy pickings." Chagecha scoffed as he wrapped his arms tightly around Orochebi's stomach.

"H...Hey...hold on...I...uh...keh heh ehh..."

Roaring like a beast, Chagecha backflipped and tossed Orochebi high into the air. Then, as the snake-like yankee came plummeting back down to Earth, Chagecha leaped up high and landed a single, powerful upper-cut to his jaw, completely breaking it. Coughing up blood and a few teeth, the defeated Orochebi collapsed back onto the roof in defeat.

Landing next to him, Chagecha exclaimed, "...AND THAT'S WHAT MY MOTHER DID TO ME EVERY TIME I DIDN'T TAKE OUT THE TRASH!"

Shivering in excitement, Doraji and Longhorn Onizawa thought, 'Ooh...Mommy, teach us that move too...'

Struggling to speak, Orochebi took out a small key-card and dropped it at Chagecha's feet. "Use this...to enter the city...but...you will only end up dying...Chagecha..." Then, he lost consciousness.

Picking up the key-card, Chagecha realized it had the kanji '精肉'(4) written onto it. 'Ah...I could use this for free lamp chobs! Sweetness...TO THE SUPREME!'

Chagecha turned to the others and said, "Alright, then...c'mon, let's get this show on the road. We're heading...to Shinu-Tokyo!"

Masato nodded. "That's all well and good, sempai, and I'd be honored to go with you, but...how do we get up there?"

A third awkward silence filled everyone's hearts. "Uh...we use a train of course!" Thus, the Gekiatsu group headed off to find a train.

"HEY!" Tiger Mask cried, still hanging onto the pillar from earlier, "HEY! CAN YA HELP ME OUT?! HEY! HEEY! HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY!"

...And so, the adventures of the 'Shinu-Tokyo' arc begin!

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - Tiger Mask is talking about Neo from The Matrix.

(2) - Orochebi's name is a combination of 'Orochi' and 'Hebi', both words dealing with snakes.

(3) - 'Shinu' means Death in Japanese.

(4) - '精肉' is translated as 'Meat' in Japanese.


	2. Fried Rice and Soy Sauce

A/N: Please review...This fic will be in conjunction with a possible other fic, too. 'XD', that is.

This fic is apart of a trilogy of sorts...the 'Sawai Trilogy' or something like that:

1. Kyokusetsu Bobobo-Bo Bo-bobo

2. Chagecha Ragecha!

3. XD - Xenomania Disaster (IF I EVER MAKE IT, ACTUALLY...I MIGHT NOT.)

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!

* * *

_Where we last left off, our heroes were searching for a train so they could reach Shinu-Tokyo..._

Oddly enough, it turned out that Gure-Tokyo Train Station actually had an express train that goes straight to Shinu-Tokyo, despite it being hundreds of miles above in the air!

"...I wonder what those Shinu-Tokyo freaks want with us..." Masato asked aloud.

"We'll go and get the tickets..." Himawari told them, dragging Longhorn Onizawa, Doraji and Kouzan along with her for some reason.

Looking around, Chagecha realized that the Train Station was packed full of people, many of them super-powerful yankees from all different schools and districts, itching to get some action with the mysterious 'Five Masters'.

Tapping Masato on the shoulder, Chagecha said, "Check it ouuttttt...alot of interesting opponents are here..."

He then pointed at a group of five young men with insanely long pompadours all attached together by a single large ball of fuzz. "Those are the 'Five Yangokī Siblings'. That big hairball is the source of their yanki..."

"That's...weird." Masato remarked.

Next, Chagecha nodded over at a large box covered in clocks with spider legs keeping it moving. "The Queen of Hell, Charlotte, lives inside that box. She only comes out when she has to fight...or use the bathroom. She keeps her pet poodle with her for both company and spiritual guidance..."

"Interesting! I see!"

Finally, Chagecha pointed out a large, thuggish-looking man with five cigars in his mouth at once and wearing a stretched-out pair of bunny pajamas. "That guy is an old friend of mine...his name is Timmy."

"...Right."

Running over to Timmy, Chagecha patted him on the back and exclaimed, "HEY, TIM-TIM...HOW'S IT GOING?!"

However, Timmy just grunted and punched Chagecha hard in the face, sending him skidding across the ground right back next to Masato. As he got up, Chagecha started to sob. "Why...why...why doesn't he remember me?! Why doesn't Larry remember me?! WRRRRRRRRRRRRY..."

"YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER HIS NAME, THOUGH!"

Then, Masato glanced over at Kotarou, expecting him to say something...but nothing happened.

'Why is that guy always so quiet?!' Masato wondered, feeling a bit nervous now.

Eventually, Himawari returned with four tickets; one for her, one for Masato, one for Chagecha, and one for Kotarou.

As he took his ticket, Masato asked, "Err...what about the others?"

"They found another way in." Himawari replied with a sigh, and then she glanced over behind her...where Doraji and Kouzan were busy trying to stick Longhorn Onizawa into a mailbox.

'THEY'RE...GOING TO MAIL THEMSELVES THERE?!'

"C'MON! GET IN! GET IN!" Doraji snapped, pushing as hard as he could.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO! I DO NOT WANT TO GO BACK! NO SHIBUYA! NOOOOOOO!!" whined Longhorn Onizawa, tears streaming from his eyes.

'This is kind of a sad scene...' Masato thought.

"HEEEY..."

Suddenly, Doraji and Kouzan both froze up when they heard a deep, malicious voice from behind them. They even felt an evil aura of yanki crawl up their backs, to boot.

Slowly turning his head, Doraji put on the cutest face he could muster as he stammered, "Uh...Uh...Uh...y-y-yes, good person who will most definitely not kill us...?"

"...That's my mailbox." whimpered a young teenage girl wearing a skimpy bathing suit.

Smiling widely, Doraji and Kouzan both thought, 'STRAWBERRY TIME.'

Then, the girl's facial expression became demonic and she screamed, "GET THAT FATASS PIECE OF SHIT OUT OF MY MAILBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOX..." Pulling out a giant guitar case, she smashed it against all three of them, sending Doraji, Kouzan, and Longhorn Onizawa flying through the ceiling and right into Shinu-Tokyo of all places.

'IF I WAS A RICH GIRL...NAA NAA NAA NAA NAA NAA NAA NAAH...SEE, I'D HAVE ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD, IF I WAS A WEALTHY GIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRL...'

"Damn...that's no fair! They didn't have to pay the travel fee!" Chagecha snapped.

Running over to the crazy bikini-girl, Chagecha got on his knees and begged, "PLEASE...CRAZY BIKINI-GIRL! LET ME TRAVEL TO SHINU-TOKYO WITHOUT HAVING PAY THE TRAVEL FEE AS WELL! I HAVE LEMONS! YOU LIKE LEMONS, DON'T YA? I HEAR THAT CRAZY BIKINI-GIRLS LOVE LEMONS!"

Snarling, the crazy bikini-girl raised the giant guitar case over her head and mumbled, "Nah...I think I'll just bash your head in...and...MY NAME ISN'T CRAZY BIKINI-GIRL!" Then, she brought the guitar case down on Chagecha's head at high speed.

"OH NO! SEMPAI!" Masato cried.

However, Chagecha had stopped the guitar case with his own hands. Smirking, while still struggling to keep it from crushing him, he asked, "Well then...what IS your name?"

The crazy bikini-girl couldn't believe it; her guitar case weighed over 50 tons, and that was without anything in it! 'How...how is he holding it up with his bare hands like that...?' The entire crowd had stopped and turned around to watch this amazing display of unbelievably high yanki powers having a showdown.

"My...my name is...Kokoki(1)..." replied the crazy bikini-girl, swallowing her spit.

Chagecha gasped. "K...Kokoki?! Hold on...do you have a younger brother?"

"Yes...his name is Piyopi."

Chagecha spat up blood just from hearing that fact alone. Several random yankees in the crowd gasped and all exclaimed, "HER BROTHER...IS THE DOLL MASTER OF A THOUSAND 'DESU'S?!"

"BUT...PIYOPI IS A BABY CHICK!!"

Wiping the blood from his chin, Chagecha said, "H...Heh...is that so, huh? Interesting...but I won't be surprised by that anymore..."

Kokoki thought for a moment. "My brother is Piyopi."

Blood burst out of Chagecha's mouth again and he fell on his knees. "THAT'S...THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!"

"...WHAT IS IT WITH THIS RIDICULOUS BATTLE?!" Masato exclaimed, finally catching up.

"You...you..." Chagecha coughed up even more blood; he definitely wasn't at the top of his game today.

Kokoki blushed a bit as she watched her opponent struggle like this. 'Ahh...I'm such a sadist...'

Seeing that Chagecha wasn't capable of fighting anymore, Kokoki pressed a small button on the bottom of her guitar case, shrinking it down to normal size. She swung it over her shoulder and said, "Chagecha...my brother told me about you...I thought you would be more of a challenge...and you're not nearly as attractive as he claimed, either...maybe we'll meet again in Shinu-Tokyo, but for now...ADIOS."

Then, she turned around and walked away, all of the perverts staring at her ass the whole way.

Once she was gone, Masato and Himawari quickly ran over to Chagecha and helped him up to a stand.

"Sempai...what happened back there? Why did you spit up blood like that?" Masato asked, worried about Chagecha's well-being.

"It's...it's alright. It's just...every time she mentioned Piyopi's name, I remembered that I left the oven on back at home..." Chagecha grunted.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! SERIOUSLY?!"

Handing Chagecha a handkerchief, she asked, "You don't think...Piyopi will actually appear in this fic, do you?"

Chagecha shook his head. "Nah...only until his powers are revealed in the manga, which is also the reason that Kouzan, Longhorn Onizawa and Kotarou won't be doing anything until chapter 6 comes out...depending if they actually DO SOMETHING in that chapter..."

"LET'S STAY OPTIMISTIC!"

As the four of them (remember, Kotarou is still with them) got on line to board the train, Masato happened to notice a blue talking rodent(2), a man in an orange karate outfit with spiky black hair(3) and some dork with cool glasses and a blond afro(4).

'Geez...this city sure is populated by freaks...' Masato thought as he climbed onto the train with Chagecha, Himawari and Kotarou.

Unbeknown to them, however, an assassin sent from Shinu-Tokyo was also boarding the train...and it was his mission to kill Chagecha and all other members of the Gekiatsu Group.

'Heh heh heh...prepare to face true hell, Gekiatsu Group...either that, or face extremely high medical bills...AND SHIT LIKE THAT! BOO HOOO HOO HOO...wait, my monologue laughter style just changed! How odd...why am I rambling on like this? What? To add more words to the chapter to make it longer? That's a loud of bullshit! Alright! I'm done thinking...now!...I said...NOW!'

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - 'Koko' is the Japanese version of the sound a hen makes

(2) - It's Sonic the Hedgehog!

(3) - It's Son Goku!

(4) - ...You should know who this guy is...


	3. Miso Soup and Green Onions

_With Kouzan, Longhorn Onizawa (best name ever) and Doraji separated from their group, Chagecha, Masato and Himawari continue onward to reach Shinu-Tokyo!_

'...Should I be afraid that the bathroom door has a 'BEWARE OF DOG' sign on it...?' Masato wondered as he stood outside the train toilet stall, pondering his dilemma. The train had begun its journey to Shinu-Tokyo only a few minutes ago, and Masato already had to go 'doo-doo', as Chagecha liked to call it.

"Argh...maybe I'll just knock to be safe..." Masato rapped his fist against the door once, and then it slowly swung open, revealing a large fat hairy man sitting on the toilet, his body fat sinking off the sides. Even his face was hidden underneath the huge red balls of fat that were his cheeks. Grunting, he ordered, "...Close da door..."

With a slight nod, Masato did just that, and quickly ran back to his seat.

"...What's wrong, Masato?" Chagecha asked, noticing his buddy was shaking violently out of fear.

"I think...I saw the cherry blossoms of France..." he mumbled under his breath, his eyes wide with fright. Chagecha just shrugged and went back to staring at the ceiling. 'Such an interesting ceiling...'

Himawari was busy looking out the window, watching as the train passed hundreds of people and buildings within minutes. 'I wonder...why I am even hanging out with these idiots?'

Kotarou had gotten a seat across from the group, and he seemed to be staring intently at a locket in his hands. 'Rem...why did you marry Hanpen?...Wait...I don't know this girl!' He then threw the locket out the window in annoyance.

Without warning, the overhead lights began to flick on and off. Then, they died out completely, filling the entire train with darkness. Chagecha smirked and tipped his hat over his eyes. 'This way...the darkness won't scare me. That's what my momma said...'

"WHAT...WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!" Masato cried, "AND YOU BETTER NOT REPLY THAT 'THIS IS SPARTA', OR I'LL BE REALLY PISSED OFF..."

"...This is Sparta..."

"WARRRRGGH!"

Standing up, Himawari pulled out her ball and chain and snarled, "Urgh...looks like an enemy is after us, Chagecha-sempai..."

"What makes you say that?" Chagecha asked, his hat still over his eyes.

"...It might be because of the giant salamander crawling up my pants..." Masato whispered.

"Nah. That can't be it."

Suddenly, thousands of long black hands tore through the ceiling of the train and several of them wrapped around Chagecha and Himawari. As they were being dragged up to the top of the train, Masato shouted, "HOLD ON! WHY DIDN'T THEY TAKE ME?!"

"...Because you can't fight..." Chagecha replied.

Masato broke into sobs, and curled up next to Kotarou for comfort, only to be pushed away.

* * *

_On the roof of the speeding train..._

A tall figure draped in black robes was the only one waiting for Chagecha and Himawari. He wore a 'NU' mask over his face to disguise himself. The only part of her body that wasn't hidden under the robes were his feet, which were protected by large boots covered in spikes.

"So...you're the guy who's been writing bad reviews for 'Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist'?!" Chagecha asked in a smug tone.

"HUH?! WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THESE RIDICULOUS THINGS?!" Himawari snapped.

The mysterious opponent chuckled. "Amazing...how did you know? Your 'yanki' level must be extremely high..."

"Ugh...this is idiotic..." Himawari grunted.

Tossing his cloak away, the man finally revealed himself: it was a rather ordinary-looking young man in a jacket, T-shirt and jeans. He had a simple crew-cut, and the only really noticeable feature about him was the third demonic-looking eye in the middle of his forehead.

"I am Taikutsu(1)...and I shall kill you with my awesome Yanki Style of Dark Hell!" the man announced, but Chagecha and Himawari weren't impressed in the slightest.

"...W...What's wrong? D-Do I offend...?" Taikutsu asked worryingly.

Chagecha sighed. "You're gonna be just as lame as that Orochebi guy, aren't you? AREN'T YOU?!"

Taikutsu was about to reply, when Himawari smashed her chain ball into his face, sending him spiraling backwards with a trail of blood flying from his nose.

'H...H...HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?! DAT WAS UNCALLED FOR! MADRE DE TACO!'

"I couldn't stand listening to your pathetic vocal cords any longer..." Himawari commented, wiping the blood off of her chain ball.

Whistling, Chagecha barked, "OOH...THIS GIRL IS SPICY...LIKE A SPICY BU-RRI-TO!"

Standing next to Chagecha with his arms crossed, Tiger Mask nodded in agreement.

'...WHEN THE HELL DID HE COME BACK?!'

Taikutsu struggled to his feet, ignoring the intense pain and the blood pouring out of his nose. 'That bitch...that bitch...that bitch...THAT BITCH!!'

Swinging his palms forward, several long black arms formed out of Taikutsu's back. They were more like tendrils than arms, but they were still arms nonetheless.

"Ooh...so you're kind of person with THOSE kind of fetishes...huh?" Chagecha remarked with a smirk.

"I...HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT," Taikutsu exclaimed, "...BUT I'LL KILL YOU NOW! DIE, STEVE!"

The black arms flew forward and began slashing at Himawari, whose chain ball was useless in defending herself from something so fast like this. She let out a scream as one of the hands sliced a deep cut into her leg, causing her to lose her balance. "D...Damn it...he got me..." she cursed under her breath.

"WA HA HA HA! FEEL MY POINTY-HEADED REIGN OF MILD TERROR!"

Suddenly, just as one of the arms was about to plunge into her head, Chagecha grabbed it and the black apparition crumbled to pieces in his grasp.

Smirking, he said, "Hey...what kind of man, even if they are a yankee, attacks a lady? You've got some explaining to do...Bakky-Boy."

'Why? Why does he call me Bakky-Boy like he knows me personally?! AND...WHY IS HE SO COOL?!' Taikutsu wondered, his anger rising.

Shaking his head, he shouted, "YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME?! YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME?! I'LL TAKE YOU OUT WITH ONE STRIKE!" Roaring, he sent the remaining black arms to kill Chagecha.

However, Chagecha pulled out a giant leek (Tiger Mask gasped from the sidelines and quickly ran away), and easily destroyed the attacking arms with a single swipe. Chagecha was still smirking as he replied, "Boy...you don't know who you're dealing with..."

"Hmph. I guess I gotta pull out the big guns." Taikutsu decided, and all three of his eyes slowly closed. A powerful aura began to form around his body, and Chagecha found himself actually a bit overwhelmed. 'W...Whoa...this guy...he's unleashing ALOT of yanki...' he thought.

"NOW...I'M GOING TO KILL YOU WITH MY SUPER-DEADLY YANKEE STYLE-" Taikutsu began to say, his body practically erupting with explosive yanki energy...before an amazingly long pompadour came flying down from the top of Shinu-Tokyo and pierced through his chest. Spitting up blood, Taikutsu could do nothing as the pompadour then began to slowly retract back into the city, taking him with it.

Coughing violently, Taikutsu flipped Chagecha the middle finger as he wheezed, "C...Chagecha...it seems I have been called back to Shinu-Tokyo HQ by the 'Five Masters', but...remember this...when we fight again, I WILL KILL YOU...and if I don't, then...his majesty will..."

"Oh? Your majesty? And...who might he be?" Chagecha asked with a cocked eyebrow.

A slight grin formed on Taikutsu's lips. "His name...is unknown, but his title is 'The Heartbroken Emo King of Cosmos'...so...good luck, Chagecha...heh heh heh..." Then, he was whisked away back to Shinu-Tokyo for reasons unkown as of now.

Standing up, Himawari stared at the bloody gash on her leg as she remarked, "The Heartbroken Emo King of Cosmos? That's got to be the dumbest name I've ever heard."

Chagecha nodded. "Yeah, but...'Chagecha' is an even dumber name."

"Yes...it is, isn't it?"

With these thoughts in their mind and in their hearts, Chagecha and Himawari returned into the train, where they found Kotarou right where they left him...but Masato was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey...where's 'Chum-For-Brains'?" Himawari asked her partner in crime.

Kotarou let out a grunt in response. "...I dunno."

Chagecha shrugged and sat back in his seat like nothing had even happened. Tipping his hat over his eyes, he soon fell asleep as the train lifted off into the sky using rocket boosters. Soon, they would arrive at Shinu-Tokyo...

Meanwhile...

Banging on the bathroom doors, Masato cried, "HEY! HEEEEEY! ANYBODY OUT THERE?! PLEASE...HELP ME! I'M STUCK IN HERE! I'M STUCK IN HERE! AND...IT SMELLS! AND...THERE REALLY IS A DOG IN HERE! HELP ME OUUUUUUUUUT! HELP OUT A BROTHA, PEOPLE! HELP OUT A BROTHA!"

Suddenly, Tiger Mask popped out of the toilet and said, "At least you ain't cleaning this shit!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."

0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

THE REFERENCE INDEX:

(1) - 'Taikutsu' means 'Boredom' and such in Japanese. Because he's a plain kind of guy and he's sort of boring.


	4. Lettuce and Biscuits

A/N: Only really specific references and japanese puns will be pointed out on the Reference Index from now on. Anything else you gotta figure out on your own, because they're usually really well known in popular Internet culture and stuff...

* * *

_Finally, they've reached Shinu-Tokyo...and the Gekiatsu High Gang will be finally reunited!_

As the train slowly drew to a stop within Shinu-Tokyo Train Station, Himawari helped Chagecha awake from his deep slumber by punching him hard across the face.

Wiping the blood trickling down his face, Chagecha mumbled, "...You know, you could have just LIGHTLY SHOOK ME AWAKE..."

Himawari flashed a small grin. "Yeah...but then I would miss out on getting a chance to hit you, now wouldn't I?"

"Oh! Can I hit you too, sempai?!" Masato asked excitedly.

Chagecha just grunted and pushed him aside as he got up from his seat.

As the many yankees aboard the train piled out, they were all struck with amazement at how disturbingly similar Shinu-Tokyo resembled good old Gure-Tokyo; even the free city maps they were given looked exactly the same, only in a reversed fashion. The buildings were all the same, too, although there did happen to be a giant pagoda in the middle of the city.

Gasping, one of the yankees in the crowd exclaimed, "NO! NO...I GET IT NOW! WE'VE GONE THROUGH ONE OF THOSE PORTAL THINGS, RIGHT? WHERE'S THE CAKE THEN? WHY DIDN'T THEY GIVE ME ANY CAKE? WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRY..."

Roaring like crazy, another yankee smashed a hammer on the head of the guy next to him, and then another two yankees nearby began strangling one another. A few others were even breaking out into a deadly sword battle. Out of nowhere, this big brawl had begun.

"FUKU...FUKU...FUKU...FUKUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU..." they chanted.

Then, several explosions erupted from the ground, sending many of the unimportant background yankee punks flying into the air and falling off the sides of the floating island.

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?! EVIL RUN-ON SENTENCE IS EVIL! I...DON'T GET WHAT'S GOING ON!" Masato cried as he watched the random carnage unfold.

Chagecha placed a hand on Masato's shoulder and said, "Why...they're all training for the upcoming battle, of course. Plus, they just realized they're all rivals from different schools, so they have all the reason to attempt to take each others lives..."

"...Uh-huh. Yeah, sure..."

Suddenly, a tall handsome man with short spiky orange hair began walking towards the large group of squabbling yankees. Oddly enough, he wore the same uniform as a Nazi officer, except all Swastika symbols were replaced with Smiley Face stickers. He also bared a great resemblance to Ichigo Kurosaki from _Bleach_. Following close behind him were several soldiers wearing bullet-proof armor and carrying ballistic shields.

"...Which one of you is 'Chagecha'?" The man asked.

A sleazy-looking drunkard in the crowd rose his hand and barked, "...I AM, SUCKAH."

Then, the man in the outfit pulled out a gun and fired a single bullet in the drunkard's face, knocking him out. The bullets were actually just plastic balls fired at high speeds.

Sliding his pistol back into its holding slot, the man said, "Okay...who ELSE is 'Chagecha'?"

Glancing up at Chagecha, Masato whispered, "...What should we do, sempai?"

"Let's just say quiet. Hopefully, he won't find out that I'M Chagecha..." Chagecha replied.

Suddenly, Tiger Mask leaped onto Chagecha's head, snatched up the man's hat, and screeched, "HERE HE IS! HERE HE IS! HERE HE IS! IT'S...CHAGECHA!!"

"YOU BAKA!" Masato and Himawari both snapped, smashing Tiger Mask face-first into the ground.

Chagecha sighed. "Damn."

The man in the uniform smirked. "So...there you are, Chagecha. My name is Aku Keisatsu(1), and I have been ordered by 'The Heartbroken Emo King of Cosmos' to kill you, your friends...and everyone who will witness your execution. Since you are a Main Character, there is a high probability you will come out the victor in the battles ahead, so...you must die now to ensure that doesn't happen."

Everyone, even the soldiers under Aku's command, gasped in shock. 'WHAT A TWEEST!'

Unsheathing his gun again, Aku aimed the barrel right at Chagecha's head and snarled, "NOW...DIE FOR THE SAKE OF 'THE HEARTBROKEN EMO KING OF COSMOS'!"

"NOOOOOO! DON'T DIE, SUPER HERO! WE LOVE YOU!" bawled the yankees in the crowd.

Chagecha opened his mouth so wide it looked scary and he shouted, "HA! I'LL DIE WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE!"

"Uh...can you maybe just close your mouth, instead...?" Masato begged.

Aku was just about to pull the trigger when an eruption blew out at the back of the police force behind him. Turning around, Aku's eyes widened as a huge rotating glowing force dashed towards him at high speeds, knocking away any police officers in its path. When it finally came close enough, Aku was able to see...that it was Doraji, and he was eating sobe noodles!

Smashing the top of his head into Aku's gut, Doraji exclaimed, "AMAZING SPECIAL STUFF...THESE ARE TRUE SOBE NOODLES!"

Spitting up blood, Aku was sent flying into a building. With that one attack, little Doraji had basically not only made his reappearance back into the fic, but he took down an entire police force as well! Following close behind him and out of breath were Longhorn Onizawa and Kouzan.

"There you three morons are...you've been gone for an entire chapter..." Himawari remarked, hiding her 'OBVIOUS' joy at their group being reunited once again.

Longhorn Onizawa latched onto Himawari's leg and sobbed, "WAAH...MOMMY...MOMMY...I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE YOU AGAIN...WAAHH..."

Unsure of what to do, Himawari just sighed and patted the weeping freak on the head to calm him down.

"Finally...I was starting to get worried about you guys..." Kouzan commented, although he was too busy checking out a porn mag he found to look up.

Kotarou nodded and flashed a tiny grin for just a second, which only Masato noticed. 'Did...Did I just see what I think I saw? No...something like that is as rare as seeing the Loch Ness Monster itself!'

Then, Masato saw the Loch Ness Monster pass by.

'THEN...WHAT I SAW WAS TRUE?!'

However, it turned out that Aku wasn't beaten just yet. Lifting himself out of the rubble, his beret slipped off of his head, revealing a large black spike sticking out of the top of his skull. Reaching up, Aku wrapped his hand around the spike and twisted it. Then, he tore it out, revealing it to be a long coal-black katana. Somehow, tearing this thing out of his brain didn't kill him.

"I AM NOT ONE OF THE 'FIVE MASTERS'," he begun to explain, his eyes flashing, "HOWEVER...I AM HEAD CHIEF OF SHINU-TOKYO'S POLICE DIVISION, AND I WILL SEND YOU ALL TO DEATH FOR YOUR INSOLENCE TOWARDS ME!"

"Hoo hoo...so you're one of THOSE kind of people, huh?" Chagecha remarked.

"DO YOU EVEN UNDERSTAND HALF THE THINGS THAT COME OUT OF YOUR MOUTH?!" Himawari snapped.

Suddenly, Doraji got up and started running right at Aku. "HEH! I'LL SHOW YOU, CHAGECHA! IF I CAN KNOCK HIM DOWN ONCE...I CAN KNOCK HIM DOWN AGAIN!" the little kid taunted, feeling fully confident in his victory.

"UH...IS HE GONNA BE OKAY?!" Masato cried out loud.

Chagecha shrugged slightly. "If he doesn't come out of this alive...I'm taking his pet donkey!"

Longhorn Onizawa gasped. 'NO! NOT CHESTNUT!'

His body now blazing with yanki energy as he grew closer towards Aku, Doraji shouted, "MILLIONS OF PEACHES...PEACHES...FOR...FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE(2)!!"

Baring his teeth, Aku snarled, "YOU ANNOY ME."

Then, he slammed the tip of the sword against Doraji's forehead...and he collapsed on the spot.

"AIEEEEEEE!! DORAJI-KUN HAS BEEN DEFEATED!" Longhorn Onizawa screeched.

"ARGH! SEMPAI, WE NEED-" Masato turned to request Chagecha's help, only to find a small letter lying on the floor in his place. Picking it up, Masato opened it and read it aloud:

"Went to find a Pachinko(3) Parlor. Good luck with this fight! Love, Chagecha."

Crumbling the letter in his hands, Masato cursed under his breath.

'Cue the Linkin Park song...we're all doomed...'

HOW THE HELL ARE THESE LOSERS GONNA WIN, ESPECIALLY WHEN ONLY TWO OUT OF THE 6 OF THEM ARE THE ONLY ONES WITH SKILLS REVEALED SO FAR IN THE MANGA?!

Only I know.

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - Aku's full name is translated as 'Evil/Bad Police Officer'...which he is.

(2) - A line from the song 'Peaches' by 'Presidents Of he United States of America'.

(3) - Pachinko is like the Japanese version of pinball or something, but it's like gambling.


	5. Cheese and Beer and Sobe Noodles

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this fic except for the OCs and other things that don't already belong to other people, GOT IT?!

* * *

_Dammit, now what are they gonna do?!_

"DAMMIT! NOW WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?!" Masato cried as he caught Doraji in his arms after Aku kicked him back over. The poor little guy was unconscious, so Masato just dropped him back on the floor and walked over to the others.

"Ugh...the hero of this fic left us to play Pachinko, and we have to fight the crazy police officer with the sword he pulled out of his head...just great..." Himawari grumbled under her breath.

Looking around wildly, Longhorn Onizawa's face lit up when he noticed a trash can lid lying by his feet for absolutely no good reason. 'AH...TRASHY-KUN IS HERE...'

Snapping his porn book shut, Kouzan tossed it over his shoulder and said, "Fine, then. I'll take this guy on..."

"Me too." Kotarou grunted, cracking his knuckles.

"AND SO...SHALL I!" Longhorn Onizawa exclaimed, now wielding the trash can lid as a shield.

Aku snarled at their eagerness to fight; he just wanted to kill all of them as soon as inhumanely possible.

'Whoa...can these guys really do this?' Masato wondered with a worried feeling in his gut. Then, he remembered that Tiger Mask was with them as well.

"Hey, Tiger Mask dude, are you-" Masato began, only to see that Tiger Mask had once again run off, "OH, DAMN HIM TO HELL!"

His sword still drawn, Aku grunted and exclaimed, "Hmph, you really think you can win? Prior to this, I was the head of the police forces of Nagoya Prefecture, Hiroshima Prefecture, Kyoto Prefecture, Osaka Prefecture and Aomori Prefecture(1) all at the same time! I am true POLICE power! You cannot beat me!"

"Your 'power' blinds you," Kouzan remarked, "You believe you are truth and justice and righteousness, everything you claim that you stand for in life...yet you are none of those three. You are nothing but a perverted killer...a wrong I am about to right."

Masato and Himawari were both in awe now. 'I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! HE'S...HE'S SO COOL!'

Aku swung his sword once and took a step forward. "If what you tell me is the undeniable truth...then come and show me the error of my ways."

However, without warning, Kouzan then spun around and quickly dashed off, Longhorn Onizawa and Kotarou close behind. "RUN AWAY!" he cried.

Sighing in disappointment, Masato and Himawari had no choice but to go along with this unfortunate plan. 'I really wanted to see him fight, though...'

"Wait for me!" Masato called as he scooped up Doraji into his arms before running after them.

Aku blinked a few times, trying to understand what had just happened. Then, his blood began to boil, his eyes became dilated, foam formed on the edges of his lips, and his face became as red as his hair.

"COME...BACK...HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!!" And so, the chase was on.

While they were running, Doraji regained consciousness. Looking up at Masato, who was holding him, he snickered, "Ooh...so you're one of THOSE kind of guys, huh?"

Masato just skidded to a stop and threw Doraji at Aku again before continuing his escape.

Unfortunately for Doraji, he was once again kicked away as if he was nothing but a minor annoyance, sending him flying right into a fruit stand.

'Ahh...I love me some delicious eggplant...'

* * *

_Meanwhile..._

'Where's a goddamn Pachinko Parlor when you need one...?' Chagecha wondered as he walked through the strangely desolate city of Shinu-Tokyo. It seemed that the only actual living people on this island were Aku, those police guys working with him, the 'Five Masters'...and that Heartbroken Emo King guy.

'It's weird, though...was there another reason for the creation of Shinu-Tokyo?' he wondered.

Suddenly, Chagecha finally caught sight of what he was so desperately looking for; a large dome-shaped building, with a large pretty neon sign hanging on the roof with flashing lights.

Chagecha pondered for a moment about why the place was called 'PACHINKO CANYON DEATH HELL ARENA', but he shrugged and headed inside to take a look. However, when Chaegcha opened the double doors, all he saw was complete and utter darkness. Stepping inside, the doors shut behind him, and hundreds of overhead lights flashed on and then hundreds of people on the sidelines and bleachers began cheering and screaming like mad.

"What...the...hell?!"

Chagecha stepped forward and realized he was standing in the middle of a giant Pachinko-like obstacle course. The crowds were overlooking the scene from safe locations, all of them barking out curse words, selling food and drinks, and making bets. It seemed he had ended up in some sort of Pachinko-styled death arena, thus the name of this place mentioned earlier. Blinking a few times, Chagecha tore off his sunglasses, crushed them in his fist, and shouted, "WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!"

"...Allow me to explain, madame."

Turning around, Chagecha came face to face with one of his oddest foes yet; it was a rather flamboyant young man dressed like a '70s hip-hop dancer, and his hair...was completely made out of pompadours, all of them jutting out in different directions with different lengths.

Noticing Chagecha's stares, the man chuckled and remarked, "Ah...you like my hair, don't you? I call it the 'Über Pompadour'. Many of these are actually ones I tore off of the heads of my many victims. Anyway...you must be Chagecha, correct? I am Curd, the first of the 'Five Masters'. It's a PLEASURE to meet you..."

"Uh...can't I just play Pachinko?" Chagecha asked hopefully.

Curd scoffed at him and waved off his request. "Oh, du bist so kleinlich(2)! You are truly a dummkopf(3), aren't you, Sir Chagecha? You will be my plaything for now, and our fight will be judged by the crowd, who hope to make some wonderful winnings off of MY victory!"

Chagecha cocked and eyebrow and sneered, "Your victory? Hmph! You are quite a cocky son of a bitch, aren't ya? I guess I can play your little game, then...and take you down in the end!"

Curd smirked and snapped his fingers. Suddenly, a metal ball about the size of a car dashed past Chagecha at high speeds, barely grazing the bridge of his nose. Cackling at Chagecha's bewildered expression, Curd exclaimed, "We will be fighting inside a giant Pachinko game...while riding motorcycles!"

"M...MOTORCYCLES?!"

Then, a hole opened up next to Curd's feet, and a platform arose carrying a sleek sport bike with a shell covering the inner components and a distinct red finish(4). Climbing onto it, Curd asked, "So, sir Chagecha...what will you ride?"

However, it seemed Chagecha had already gotten out his motorcycle; it was completely made out of food.

"H...HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?!"

The wheels were cheese wheels, the seat was a giant chili pepper, the handles were daikon turnips, the handlebars were made of twizzlers, The engine was a head of lettuce with two sugarcane pieces sticking out and letting off smoke, and the rest of it was made out of other random food stuffs.

As he got onto his bike, Chagecha glanced at Curd and snapped, "STOP STARING AT ME, BUCKO!"

Unsure of what to say, Curd just decided to ignore it and brought his attention back to the battle that was about to begin. Curd glanced to one of several men in suits standing on the sidelines and nodded. Nodding back, the man pulled out a small remote and pressed the single red button on it. Then, a countdown began over the speakers:

"3...2...1...PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACHINKO!!"

At that moment, a platform slowly descended from the ceiling, revealing Tiger Mask to be standing on it with a microphone in his hand. Leaning back, he took in a deep breath, thinking, 'Okay...this is it...your big debut...time to show your stuff...you can do this! You...can...do...this!!'

Then, he pressed the microphone near his lips and began to shout, "I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT! I LIKE TO MOVE IT, MOVE IT! I LIKE TO...MOVE IT!"

The music of the song began to play in the background, and the battle between Chagecha and Curd was on!

"Ich werde gewinnen(5)!" Curd taunted as he drove off, speeding ahead of Chagecha. Cursing under his breath, Chagecha revved up his own bike and drove after the German dipstick...

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - Obviously, these are all real prefectures in Japan, but some of them are more well-known for some things, such as Akira Toriyama was born in Nagoya Prefecture and Hiroyuki Takei (creator of Shaman King) was born in Aomori Prefecture, as well as his character Anna Kyoyama from Shaman King is the mascot of the Aomori Prefectural Police.

(2) - It's German for 'You're so petty'.

(3) - German for 'fool'.

(4) - The bike Curd rides is the same bike driven by Shotaro Kaneda of Akira fame.

(5) - German for 'I will win'.


	6. Ramen Noodles and Natto Beans

A/N: Please review, everyone!

* * *

_As Masato, Himawari and the others try to escape from Aku, Chagecha must battle the first of the 'Five Masters', named Curd, in a motorcycle battle through a giant Pachinko game course! Can it get anymore exciting? Probably not...;-;_

"RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!! I'M DRIVING UP THE SIDE OF THE BUILDING AT SUPER SPEED!!"

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAHHHHHH!! NO, YOU'RE NOT!"

"SCORE 45 POINTS! SCORE 67790 POINTS! SCORE 1999999999999999999 POINTS!! YOU WIN! YOU WIN! YOU WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!"

"YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE STINKIN' GAME, DO YOU?"

"...NOOOOOOOOOOOOT REALLY."

Chagecha wasn't all that surprised when his food-motorcycle of EXTREME AWESOMENESS (tm) broke down after running for only a few minutes. Climbing off of it, he cursed under his breath. Now, he was at a complete and utter disadvantage, and right at the beginning of the match, too!

Taking a large bite out of the chili pepper seat, Chagecha pondered his situation. As he watched Curd zoom around aimlessly, performing tricks and moves to please the crowd, Chagecha thought, 'Hmm...at times like these, I really need to think...think...think...NO! I CAN'T ABOUT COWS AT SUCH AN IMPORTANT MOMENT! STOP IT! THINK...THINK...I NEED MY HANDY-DANDY...NOTEBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK!'

Suddenly, an idea came to him just as he held out his palm and stopped the giant Pachinko ball from rolling past. "Heh...boo-shaka-laka!"

"You spin me right round, baby, right round! You spin me right round, baby, right round! Like a record, baby-" Tiger Mask sang into the microphone as the crowd lit candlesticks and slowly waved them through the air in unison.

"QWE QWE QWE(1)! WHAT IS WRONG, SILLY MAN?!" Curd cackled over the booming music and cheering from the crowd, "HAVE YOU GIVEN UP ON CHASING AFTER MEEEEEEEEEEEEE...?!"

Lifting the heavy steel ball over his head, Chagecha waited until just the right moment, and then...he threw it as hard as he could. Before Curd could even react, the giant ball smashed into him, sending him flying and completely obliterating his motorcycle in the process.

"AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHHH!!" Blood spewed out of Curd's mouth and he fell to the ground.

'Wow...that was easier than I thought...' Chagecha realized, but then a large cucumber flew out of nowhere and smacked into his back, causing him to spit up blood and tumble to the ground.

For a moment, the entire arena fell to a dead silence; the crowd watched with bated breath as they waited for what would happen next in this bizarre battle.

His body shaking violently, Curd slowly brought himself to a stand. His face smothered in blood and dirt, he snarled, "Die Affen sind reif...mein Bruder ist ein Tomaten...奇妙な冒険...Ich liebe Häuser...(2)"

"UH-OH! WHEN CURD GETS REALLY PISSED, HE STARTS RAMBLING ON IN GERMAN! EXCEPT...HE'S MIXED SOME JAPANESE WORDS IN THERE! AND NONE OF IT MAKES ANY SENSE!" exclaimed the yankees in the crowd.

Then, a sealion stood up in the crowd and, his arms crossed, explained, "Of course it doesn't make any sense. This fic is based after a gag manga!"

"He's right, ya know..." Chagecha remarked, getting back to his feet as well.

"Ich werde Sie töten mit meinem Steeple Chase Driller!(3)" Curd snapped, a maniac expression on his face.

"Ooh...you're gonna spank me hard?! Freak..."

"HE WASN'T SAYING THAT AT ALL, YOU IDIOT!" Everyone in the stadium shouted, smacking their hands in the air.

"Don't talk to me like you actually care!" Chagecha snapped back at them, causing the entire crowd to go silent again.

His body radiating with a powerful yanki aura, Curd's many pompadours began to stretch and bend as if truly alive. Four of his longest pompadours stretched out and bent into resembling spider legs, and they lifted Curd up into the air, carrying him by the roots of his hair.

"Qwe qwe qwe! I, Curd, one of the 'Five Masters', shall totally obliterate you with my awesome pompadour power! COME AND FIGHT ME IF YOU CAN!" Curd mocked, and then the pompadour "legs" leaped backwards and ran off in the opposite direction, Curd laughing all the while.

Chagecha spat on the floor. "Ugh...now I have to chase after him? What a pain..."

"YOU CAN DO IT!" cried the Townie from _The Waterboy_.

"HE'S RIGHT! I...CAN...DO IT!" Pulling out a shovel, Chagecha began digging furiously into the metal floor, eventually breaking through and going into a deep hole.

"...WHAT THE HELL DID HE JUST DO?!" cried the Townie from _The Waterboy_.

Suddenly, as Curd was being dragged along by his speeding pompadours, Chagecha burst out from underneath him and smashed his forehead into the German man's crotch.

"COCK BLOCKIN'!" Chagecha snapped before punching Curd hard in the bottom of the jaw and spin-kicking him down to the ground.

Blood spewed out of Curd's lips as he rolled across the floor for a moment before coming to a stop. He was so caught off-guard he still wasn't even sure if he had actually been attacked. 'This is almost as bad as that time I saw that movie She Hate Me(4)...and now the burning pain in my eyes from watching it are back! AUGH! IT SUCKED SO BAD! AHHHH!!'

Striking a cool pose, Chagecha exclaimed, "So...you see that even your 'pompadour power' is useless against me! How about you just give up, suckah?!"

"Qwe...qwe...qwe...qwe..."

"HEY, MAN, I CAN UNDERSTAND WHEN A BAD GUY STARTS GOING CRAZY, THEY LAUGH, BUT...WHY THE HELL IS YOUR LAUGHING SOUND 'QWE, QWE, QWE'?! THAT'S...IDIOTIC! EVEN FOR ME!"

"Yeah!" shouted the sealion from the crowd, "This ain't Pani Poni Dash(5) nor is it Sayonara Zetsubo Sensei(6)! This is...CHAGECHA!"

Without warning, several of Curd's pompadours formed into spears and flew at Chagecha, but the attacking hairdos crumbled to shreds just before tearing into Chagecha's face; Curd was running out of enough yanki energy to use his pompadour attacks now. It seemed like the battle was already won for Chagecha...

...When the glass ceiling covering the Pachinko arena shattered, scattering glass everywhere. Screaming in fear, Masato landed on his feet right in front of a rather surprised Chagecha. Himawari, Kouzan, Kotarou and Longhorn Onizawa soon followed, and they were all out of breath and covered in sweat.

"What?! What?! What the hell are you guys doing here?!" Chagecha demanded to know.

Breathing heavily, Masato replied, "S...S...Sempai, we're in trouble..."

Chagecha was about to ask what Masato meant, but then Aku landed in front of them, his long black katana's tip pointed directly at Masato's forehead. His clothes and face covered in dirt and sweat, Aku snarled, "Finally...I've...finally caught you...now...YOU DIE!"

"SEMPAI, THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!" Masato cried, closing his eyes and prepared to meet his end.

However, just as Aku was about to dig his sword into Masato's neck, he found himself suddenly brought down to the ground...by Curd's pompadours, which had wrapped around his legs. Looking over his shoulder, Aku shouted, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?! LET...ME...GO! LET ME GO RIGHT NOW, YOU SON OF A BITCH! I AM A GODDAMN POLICE OFFICER, AND YOU WILL LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY! DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

Sitting up, Curd had a look of pure insanity, and his grin was so wide it stretched from ear to ear. "Come to papa..." he whispered, licking his dry, bloody lips, and Aku found himself being dragged into Curd's many pompadours. Chagecha and the others watched in silent horror as poor Aku was pulled into Curd's hair; he struggled to break free, but eventually he was completely absorbed into it.

After a moment, Curd's hair became a light orange color, and all of his wounds instantly healed. Getting to his feet, Curd's body unleashed an amazing amount of yanki energy, shocking even Chagecha a bit. "Now...his body, his skills, and most importantly, his yanki...ARE MINE!"

Curd's hair let out a mighty roar, and a being made completely wrapped up in hair arose out of it. It was Aku's body, but his soul had already been stolen from him. Smirking, Curd said, "Now...DIE!"

This was totally unexpected. In fact, it even made Longhorn Onizawa cry a little.

--

THE REFERENCE INDEX:

(1) - Yeah, that's the noise he makes when he laughs.

(2) - Use 'Google Translate'.

(3) - Use 'Google Translate'.

(4) - A crappy movie about some guy impregnating lesbians and being paid for it. Never saw it, never gonna see it.

(5) - Pani Poni Dash is another gag manga series, and it's quite random and odd, much like good ol' Bobobo-Bo Bo-bobo.

(6) - Sayonara, Zetsubo Sensei! is another good series with a humorous tone, but a bit more serious in some cases.


	7. Hellion Lobsters and Fried Oysters

_

* * *

_

Alright, so Curd is going all 'FREAKY' on us, and Chagecha and the others aren't gonna take it anymore, right?!

"Jumpin' Jack Flash, it's a gas, gas, gas!" Tiger Mask screamed into the microphone, the music still blaring throughout the stadium.

"HOLD ON! THIS IS JUST WAY TOO FREAKY!" Masato exclaimed after watching Curd's disturbing "fusion" with Aku, "IS THIS...IS THIS REALLY CHAGECHA?! COULD I ACTUALLY BE LIVING IN A WEIRD FABRICATION OF NON-CANON BY BEING APART OF SOME RIDICULOUS FANFIC?! COULD THAT...BE THE TRUTH BEHIND EVERYTHING?!"

"Well, this sure as hell ain't Gintama or Kochikame!" snapped the sea lion standing next to him, who Masato knocked out with a single punch.

'Ugh...I just wanna go home and watch Strawberry Panic(1)...' Kouzan thought with a sigh.

"Was werden Sie nun tun, hübsch Sir Chagecha? Ich werde Sie töten mit relativer Leichtigkeit.(2)" Curd taunted, his body now refueled with yanki energy. His hair were now more like snakes than pompadours, slithering around his head like that of Medusa's. Plus, the fact he was so flamboyant didn't help any, either.

Turning to Chagecha, Himawari asked, "So...what are we gonna do?"

"As much as I hate to admit it...I can't think of anything." Chagecha replied, totally focused on playing the GBA game suddenly in his hands.

"GIVE ME THAT GAME AND PAY ATTENTION!" Himawari snapped as she snatched the game away; looking at it, she realized he was playing 'Legacy of Goku 2'.

'He's...he's battling Cell!'

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Letting out a battle cry, Curd sent three long spiked pompadours piercing right through Chagecha's body. Oddly enough, he didn't even try to avoid them, yet he didn't seem injured by the sharp evil hairdos sticking into his body.

"S...SEMPAI!!" Masato cried.

Smirking, Chagecha rubbed his hand on his chin and remarked, "You know, this reminds me of an old favorite comedy of mine, called 'Shinsetsu Ball Z'..."

* * *

_It was a rather quiet day at the bank. Only a few customers were around, and nothing interesting had happened at all since the beginning of the morning workshift. All that changed, however, when four figures entered the building:_

_Goku, Vegeta and Gohan were all wearing big sunglasses, moustaches, ponchos and sombreros, and Piccolo was dressed like a circus clown for some reason. Pulling out shoutguns from underneath their disguises, they all fired simultaneously into the air and shouted, "ALRIGHT! THIS...IS A MAKE-SHIFT GANGSTER PARTY!"_

_Then, everyone started dancing as the music played...until Congressman Cell and his lovely wife Frieza entered the building._

_An awkward silence filled everyone's hearts, and Vegeta squealed like a piggy..._

_"Hey, are you apart of the voting commitee?" Cell asked Goku, but the response to his question was a powerful smack to the face._

* * *

"Heh heh...good times, good times..." Chagecha said, chuckling to himself.

"WAIT! I ZONED OUT THERE FOR A MOMENT! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!" Masato exclaimed in confusion.

Himawari snarled. "Che! What an idiot...a cute idiot, but an idiot none the less..."

Snickering in his palm, Longhorn Onizawa said, "Oh, so you DO have feelings for Masato, I see...hee hee..."

Himawari blushed and kicked Longhorn Onizawa in the face before walking away. 'Actually...I was talking about Chagecha...but whatever...'

"Hey...do you got any money?" Kouzan asked Kotarou.

"No...why?"

"I wanna buy some porn. And cracker jack. And skittles. And M&Ms. Because I'm evil."

"You make me sick." Kotarou snarled before walking off...to buy some porn.

As the tentacle-like pompadours retracted back, Chagecha didn't seem any worse for wear. In fact, he looked like he was enjoying this battle. His yanki energy was flowing like crazy, and not even someone like Curd with his new enhanced power could help but feel a bit uncomfortable.

'Argh! This guy...he's like Takagi from Bakuman(3)! Never giving up...and some other crap I can't remember! SO ANNOYING!' Shaking these thoughts out of his head, Curd used Aku's body to unsheath the black katana from before and charge straight at Chagecha, in attempt to slice him in two.

"Sorry...but that won't work."

With his bare hand, Chagecha grabbed the katana, snapped it in half, and then used his other hand to punch Aku hard in the head, sending him flying off to the side and breaking him out of Curd's control. Blood spurted out of Curd's mouth and he stumbled backwards in pain.

"Woke up this morning...got yourself a gun...mama always said you'd be the Chosen one..." Tiger Mask sang, his tone now deeper.

Snarling, Curd shouted, "SIR CHAGECHA...I WILL BEAT YOU TO THE EDGE OF YOUR LIFE...AND THEN FORCE YOU TO WATCH HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 2!"

Chagecha, and everyone else in the stadium for that matter, gasped in horror. 'THAT'S...THAT'S...THAT'S JUST TOO CRUEL FOR WORDS!'

"YOU MANIACAL BASTARD!" With the broken piece of the katana still in his hand, Chagecha ran at Curd and began swinging it at him. However, every slice of the blad was esily blocked by Curd's many pompadours, and it was soon smacked out of Chagecha's hands and sent sprawling across the floor.

Cursing under his breath, Chagecha thought, 'Argh...now what do I do? I don't have any Super Fist style or anything awesomely cool like that...'

Closing his eyes, he recalled the words of his master, a certain jelly man. "Remember...'NU' is the true word of the day...never forget that..."

'THAT'S TOTALLY USELESS INFORMATION!' Chagecha realized in despair.

"NOW...YOU DIE!" Curd screamed, and he prepared to plunge one of his pompadours into Chagecha's skull.

Masato let out a gasp. "SEMPAIIIIIIIIIIIII!!"

Suddenly, the bottom half of Aku's katana flew through the air, and pierced right into Curd's throat. Coughing up blood, Curd struggled to stand for a moment before falling backwards. Turning around, everyone saw that the person who had saved them...was Aku himself!

Smirking through his blood-stained teeth, Aku remarked, "Hmph...good thing I kept a spare soul in my pocket just in case something like this happened...(4)"

'HE...HE HAS A SPARE SOUL?!' Masato thought.

Wiping the sweat off his face, Chagecha exclaimed, "Well, the battle ended just like how I expected! AH HA HA HA HA-"

"STOP SHOWING OFF!" Himawari snapped, smacking her chain ball into Chagecha's face, "IT WAS DAMN LUCK THAT AKU ENDED UP SAVING YOU IN THE LAST MOMENT! ...WAIT, AKU SAVED YOU!"

Oddly enough, Aku seemed prefectly fine despite his injuries as he walked over to the group. Pulling out his plastic-ball pistol from earlier, he pressed it against Chagecha's forehead and sneered, "Well, I paid you back for saving me. Now...it's time I fulfill my mission. Adios, Chagecha."

Suddenly, he felt something...or someone...land on his head. Glancing upwards, Aku saw that Longhorn Onizawa was now sitting on top of him for some reason.

Flashing a grin, Onizawa said, "Hey, baby...wanna slap on the ass, or can I go home with my dignity?"

"GET OFFA ME!" Aku shouted, swiping at the freakish high-schooler, but Longhorn Onizawa just punched the evil police man in the nose before running back over to Himawari for 'protection'.

Aku fired at Chagecha this time, only to realize he was shooting at empty space.

'H...HUH?!'

Suddenly, Chagecha wrapped his arms around Aku's waist and bent him over, practically snapping his back in the process. "KOTAROU...DO IT NOW! INJECT HIM WITH THE NEEDLE!"

Kotarou shrugged, and handed the needle over to Kouzan, who quickly injected a strange orange liquid inside into Aku's blood stream. "AUUUUUGH!" Aku screamed and twitched violently for a moment before he calmed down and lost consciousness. Foam drooled down his face due to him being upside down.

"...What did you do to him?" Himawari asked.

"Why, I injected him with 'Poppa Rocks Extract', of course," Chagecha explained, "It's very rare and hard to obtain, but I found some on E-bay, and it's supposed to make whoever is injected with it to think just like Don Patch...despite the fact that the extract and Don Patch don't even have the same name!"

For the first time in her life, Himawari felt a chill of fear crawl up her spine. For Masato, this was a feeling he had felt more often times than not. And Longhorn Onizawa...well, he just wet himself out of horror.

"WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT! NO...WE AIN'T GONNA TAKE IT!" Tiger Mask screamed into the microphone.

"Well, I guess we should get going then." Chagecha said, and he began to make his way towards the door with no further explanation.

Suddenly, Curd's fingers began to twitch slightly...

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - Some yuri anime awesomeness.

(2) - Use 'Google Translate'.

(3) - A new WSJ manga about two teens wanting to become manga artists; drawn and created by the creators of Death Note

(4) - Sort of a reference to Ichigo Kurosaki and the soul candy animal things that take over a Soul Reaper's body to keep it safe while the Soul Reaper himself/herself is fighting. Also, on another note, his balck katana is a reference to Ichigo's bankai as well. And, don't forget, he basically looks just like Ichigo...only in a Nazi uniform with smiley faces instead of swastikas.


	8. Chapter 8

_It seems the fight with Curd is over...or is it?!_

"Qwe...qwe qwe...qwe...qwe qwe qwe qwe qwe qwe qwe qwe qwe qwe...qwe qwe...qwe qwe qwe qwe qwe qwe qwe qwe qwe...QWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEE..."

Chagecha stopped in his tracks, and slowly turned his head so he'd seem more dramatic.

"K...Kamina..."

Curd was back on his feet, despite the blade still wedged deep into his neck. His eyes were now completely red, and his hair was now a huge swirling mass, all of the hair gel drained from it. For some reason, it seemed he could only say 'qwe' now as well.

Blood spewing out of his mouth, nose and eyes, Curd continued to chant his disturbing favorite word: "QWE QWE QWE QWE QWE QWE QWE QWE QWE QWE QWE QWE QWE..."

"STOP IT, YOU FREAK!" Himawari snapped, and she bashed her chain ball across Curd's face. However, it didn't seem to even effect him, as although more blood began to trickle down his face, he continued to chant over and over.

'UH-OH...WE'RE DEALING WITH A GRADE-A PSYCHO HERE! USUALLY, THEY'RE JUST B-GRADE!' Masato thought in horror.

Suddenly, Curd's head did a total 360, and then his tendril-like hair flew out into the stand, capturing various yankees. Their pitiful cries filled the stadium as they were pulled into Curd's hair.

"WHAAAAAAAA?! RUN AWAY, BEFORE HIS HAIR EATS YOUUUUUUU!!" The sea lion screamed, and the crowds scrambled to run out of the dome, screaming and terribly frightened. Several more yankees ended up becoming victims of Curd's hair before everyone was able to escape.

Oddly enough, Tiger Mask was still singing, without even noticing that the crowd had all left. "WOW WOW, FIGHT DA POWAH! WOW, WOW...I WANT SOME MONEY, SO I CAN GO TO THE PUPPY STORE AND BUY...A MONKEEEEEEEEEEEY..."

Cackling, Curd's yanki levels grew to extreme heights thanks to all the new energy he absorbed. The aura around his body grew so tall it nearly touched the ceiling of the stadium, and his hair had now become a bright golden color with slight blood stains from the earlier parts of the fight.

"QWWWWWWWWWE!" With a single wave of his hand, Curd sent a huge shockblast heading straight for Chagecha, but our fedora-wearing hero was able to leap to the side just in time.

Roaring in fury, Curd swung his hands like mad, sending waves of energy flying at Chagecha in all directions. Somehow, Chagecha was able to block all of the waves at once...with a frying pan.

'THAT IS ONE AMAZING FRYING PAN!' Longhorn Onizawa thought.

"Hmph...you're like a little kid, unable to give up playing with his baby toys on the third day of preschool..." Chagecha remarked with a grin as he threw the frying pan aside.

"THAT ANALOGY MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE!" Masato exclaimed.

"QWWWE QWE QWE QWE..." snarled Curd, his body twitching violently. Even the aura surrounding him began to twist and spin, as if becoming corrupted. Chagecha noticed this, but he said nothing of it.

'Man, this is the most serious shit we've ever dealt with...' Masato thought, wondering with bated breath what would happen next.

Suddenly, Chagecha sat down cross-legged, took out a bottle of sake and then announced, "Yup...I'm done."

An awkward silence filled the air.

"H...HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUH?!"

"WHAT...WHAT DO YOU MEAN THAT YOU'RE 'DONE', SEMPAI?!" Masato cried.

"Hmph. I'm sick of fighting this freak. Bring me a different opponent...!" Chagecha exclaimed, his face red and his head slightly tilted. Somehow, he had already gotten drunk.

"QWE QWE QWE!"

"I DON'T GIVE A DAMN! DON'T YOU DARE JUDGE ME!" Chagecha snapped.

Himawari cursed under her breath. 'Dammit! If Chagecha won't fight...then who can? Certainly not I!...Wait, what am I thinking? OF COURSE I CAN FIGHT! I'M NOT THAT BITCH BEAUTY, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!'

Swinging her chain ball, Himawari let out a furious cry as she smashed it into Curd's face...but he caught it easily with his pompadours. "Hmph...I'll absorb you as well..." Curd sneered, and his hair began swarming over Himawari's body.

"OH NO! WE NEED TO SAVE HER!" Masato exclaimed, turning to his teammates for help. However, Kouzan and Kotarou were busy playing Yu-Gi-Oh cards, and Longhorn Onizawa was just standing there with a blank look on his face.

'ARGH! I GUESS IT'S UP TO ME!' However, Masato barely even ran over to Himawari before being smacked away by one of Curd's other pompadours. Himawari struggled to break free, but Curd was too strong.

"NO! I DON'T WANT TO DIE HERE! I'M TOO YOUNG...AND I'M A MAIN CHARACTER, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

Suddenly, Chagecha, wearing a pumpkin suit for some reason, said, "ALRIGHT! I'LL TAKE YOU ON...AND I'LL SAVE THE DAY LIKE USUAL!"

'Wait...I DON'T UNDERSTAND! DIDN'T HE JUST SAY HE DIDN'T WANT TO FIGHT ANYMORE A FEW SECONDS AGO?!'

"QWE QWE QWE!" Curd mocked as he dragged Himawari closer and closer into his frolicking follicles. Pulling out a ray gun, Chagecha fired a single blast, incinerating the hairs ensnaring Himawari, and allowing her to run back over to the others safely.

Curd snarled and turned to face Chagecha, only to have the man's fist smash into his face.

"YANKI RAMPAGE: REALISTIC AQUARIUS HENTAI(1)!"

'...Ah, what a dirty attack name!' Longhorn Onizawa thought, blushing.

Before Curd could regain his footing, Chagecha unleashed as much yanki as he could. He immediately grabbed Curd by the head, smashed him into the ground, and began running quickly while dragging Curd across the floor. Then, Chagecha tossed Curd upwards and landed a powerful spin-kick to the face, sending the evil freak flying high into the air.

"RIGHT HERE! RIGHT NOW! YOU PUNCHIN' LIKE A-" Tiger Mask continued to sing, but then Curd crashed through the platform and smacked into him, knocking the poor guy off and falling head-first into the ground.

Finally, Chagecha pulled several pineapples out of his pockets and threw them up towards Curd, and the spiky fruits exploded the moment they came in contact with his body. A spiraling descent of blood flowing out of his mouth, Curd crashed back down to the floor, and then Chagecha pummeled him in the face several times before ending it with a kick.

"...THAT'S WHAT MY MOMMY DID TO ME WHENEVER I DIDN'T EAT MY VEGETABLES. BACHA-GALOOP, SUCKAH!!" Chagecha snarled.

'Ooh...mommy, teach us that move as well!'

"...QWE..." With that final word, Curd's hair became dark-gray, and he was defeated once and for all. Soon, all of the yankees he had absorbed came tumbling out of his now-dead locks, and they all quickly ran off without even saying 'thank you' for being saved.

With a wide smile on his face, Masato exclaimed, "OH YEAH...THAT WAS AWESOME, SEMPAI! DESPITE THE FACT THAT CURD HAD SO MUCH YANKI ENERGY, YOU STILL CAME OUT AS THE VICTOR! YOU TRULY ARE AWESOME, SEMPAI!"

However, Chagecha had already disappeared. In his place, there was a small letter. Masato picked it up and read it aloud:

"Gone to find the next plot point in the fic. Don't wait up. Love, Chagecha."

Falling to his knees, Masato threw his head back and screamed, "DAMN...YOU...SEMPAAAAAAAIIIIIIII!!"

Suddenly, a voice said from behind, "Yeah...he's one hell of an idiot, isn't he?"

Masato spun around and saw that Aku had woken up...except he was now sitting in the middle of a puddle of chocolate milk, chewing on a barbie doll, wearing a fake moustache, and holding a taco covered in mustard in his right hand.

'OH BOY...'

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - The name of Chagecha's attack is a reference to Riaru, Age of Aquarius and Ero-san from my fic 'Kyokusetsu Bobobo-Bo Bo-bobo'.


	9. Tofu and Jelly

_The fight with Curd is finished, and the gang is once again separated from their beloved hero...now what happens?!_

"So...you're crazy now?" Masato asked Aku after cleaning him up. In the background, Longhorn Oizawa and Kouzan were poking Curd's unconscious face with sticks and giggling to themselves.

Eating a big oatmeal cookie, Aku replied, "Not exactly crazy. I'm just more gag-material now. It's a sad fate, but someone's gotta do it!"

"I see what you mean..." Masato said, nodding.

Standing up, Aku stretched for a moment. "Anyway, this means I can help you guys now...isn't that great?!"

"Yeah...that's...uh, great..."

'GOD, I WISH I HADN'T DROPPED OUT OF CROMARTIE HIGH(1)...'

Once they were all done, the group left the giant Pachinko building to find the next of the 'Five Masters' and, hopefully, Chagecha...

"LOOK, LET US GO AND KILL SOME PEOPLE! WHOOOOOOOO!" Aku exclaimed, driving through the air on a bike with E.T. in the basket. However, he soon realized E.T. was with him, and he quickly tossed the buggish alien into a passing jet.

"HA HA HAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! THAT'LL TEACH YA...BITCH!" Aku cackled.

"This guy's insane." Masato said with a forced grin.

"Look who's talking..." Himawari remarked.

"Huh? But...I'm not crazy at all."

"Exactly."

"...?!"

Reading chapter 6 of Chagecha, Kouzan gasped. 'I...I CAN FINALLY FIGHT NOW!! BUT...DO I USE BAMBOO STICKS OR SOMETHING? I CAN'T READ JAPANESE...'

"Oddly enough, I still haven't done a thing..." Kotarou remarked, reading from over Kouzan's shoulder.

'Still...the actual manga is so much cooler than this fic...DAMMIT IT ALL!'

Also, just so you all know, poor Tiger Mask was once again left behind, still clinging to his broken microphone...

* * *

'Hmm hmm hmm...gonna find some plot points...' Chagecha hummed in his head as he walked through the city streets of Shinu-Tokyo.

Turning the corner, Chagecha found that various little shops and vendors had opened up and were busy trying to sell their wares to passing costumers. As he glanced around at everything, Chagecha came across a fruit stand.

"Ooi...wanna have some dumplin's?" demanded the old, blind hag working behind the counter.

"Uh...these are fruits. And...I don't have any money. But I do have a cucumber in my bellybutton..." Chagecha replied.

The old hag stood still for a few moments before falling onto her side and rolling off down the sidewalk, screaming for some guy named "Maurice". Then, several men in army uniforms came running out of a porta-potty and chased after her with butterfly nets.

Sighing, Chagecha was about to leave when a familiar voice exclaimed: "What? Don't you even want some nice fresh eggplant? It's yummmmmmmmy..."

Turning around, Chagecha saw Doraji now sitting on top of a pile of lettuce, wearing an eggplant suit and smoking a cigar with a cocky grin on his freakishly big face.

"HOW DARE YOU SMOKE AT YOUR AGE?!" Chagecha snapped, snatched the cigar from Doraji and throwing it into an oil truck, causing a massive explosion to erupt from behind him.

"WAAAH! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!" Doraji bawled, holding onto Chagecha's leg as if for dear life.

Chagecha grabbed Doraji by the face, pulled him out of the eggplant suit, and said, "It's okay..."

"REALLY?!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Roaring like a mad beast, Chagecha flipped backwards and tossed Doraji high into the air. Then, dressed as a soccer player, he leaped up and kicked Doraji off far into the distance to another part of town.

A little girl glanced out the window and thought, 'OOH...SANTA CLAUS, GIVE ME A PENNY WHEN I GROW OLDER...PLEASE...'

"LET'S GOOOOOOO!" Chagecha shouted, running after Doraji. He even pushed over an old man riding a shopping cart just to get his way.

When he finally found him again, though, Doraji was now sitting at a diner...

...and dressed like a politician while drinking tea. "Oh, you must be that good chap Chagecha-san, correct?" Doraji asked with a small smile. For some reason, the yanki aura he once possessed was now completely gone.

Gasping, Chagecha cried, "OMG! DORAJI-KUN...WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOUUUUUU?!"

Doraji took a sip of the tea and remarked, "Hmm...this white-leaf tea is jolly good! You should order a cup, my good man, and take a seat...it be bloody crass, I dare say! OI OI!"

"...WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU."

Suddenly, a man stepped out of the shadows nearby. He had swirly blond hair and a tight, frilly pink-and-blue suit. His eyes were like slits and a wide grin was spread out on his face. Bowing to Chagecha, he said, "Hello there, good sir. My name is Steven...the next member of the 'Five Masters'."

Letting out a low whistle, Chagecha grinned and exclaimed, "What? Really? I get to fight another one of you low-life bastards...ALREADY?!"

Walking over to Doraji, Steven placed a hand on the boy's head and proclaimed, "Indeed you do, Sir Chagecha. However...do you think you can beat my almighty abilities?"

"Oh? What do these 'almighty abilities' of yours happen to be?" Chagecha asked, cocking an eyebrow.

Smirking, Steven pulled out a small knife with jewels embedded into it...and thrust the tip straight into Doraji's face.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH?!"

Instead of dying, Doraji stood up and his eyes started to glow bright red. Then, he got into a fighting stance and sneered, "I SHALL KILL YOU...GOOD CHAP."

'OH MY! ISN'T HE A LITTLE BRAT?!' Chagecha thought with a gasp.

"You see, Sir Chagecha," Steven explained, "I can transform any bad boy, gangster, punk or yankee...into a well-natured super-polite KILLING MACHINE! I am skilled in the art...of yanki manipulation! Also known as 'ヤンキー 制御'(2)!"

"Hmm...this might be trouble..." Chagecha grunted. However, before Chagecha could even get into a cool fighting pose, Doraji flew over and began pummeling on him. Blood burst out of Chagecha's mouth as the mind-controlled little punk started smashing his fists into his stomach.

Smiling as he watched this bloody battle unfold, Steven remarked, "Sorry, Sir Chagecha...but I won't take any chances in giving you even a single moment of time to prepare yourself. The sooner I kill you...the better."

'Damn...shoulda seen that coming. And why does he always take pauses in nearly every line of dialogue?!' Chagecha thought as he collapsed backwards onto the floor.

Doraji then stood on top of Chagecha and prepared to land the final blow by smashing the fedora-wearing man's face. However...tears suddenly started to pour out of Doraji's eyes. He shook for a moment before bringing his arms back to his sides, unable to attack any longer.

"I...I...I CAN'T...KILL HIM...HE'S MY FRIEND...EVEN THOUGH HE ATE MY SUSHI LAST NIGHT..."

'This is really gay...' Chagecha thought, rolling his eyes.

"WHATTTTTT?! THIS...THIS ISN'T SOME STUPID SOAP OPERA DRAMA SHIT! YOU'RE SUPPOSED...TO KILL HIM!" Steven barked. Focusing his energy, he forced more 'Control' aura into Doraji's body, and once again the kid raised his fists to destroy Chagecha.

"NOW...KILL HIM!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

Fortunately, just before Doraji could attack, despite his own protests, a bowling ball attached to a chain flew in and smacked him in the face. Spitting up blood, Doraji was sent flying backwards. He skidded to a stop next to Steven, and flipped up back to his feet.

"Sorry...but I think it's our turn to show off our moves!" exclaimed Himawari as she, Kouzan, Masato, Longhorn Onizawa, Kotarou and Aku stepped up from wherever they were up until now.

Trying to stand up, Chagecha grunted, "Ahh...I guess you guys ain't useless after all..."

"LIKE HELL WE AIN'T! DIDN'T YOU SEE CHAPTER 6?!" Himawari and Kouzan both snapped in response.

Steven's epression remained joyful as he said, "Oh! You've brought your friends along, as well! That's good! Now I can try out my other servants as well! To make things...more fair."

"Other...servants?"

Suddenly, three figures leaped off of the diner's roof and landed in front of Steven. It was the Five Yangokī Siblings, Queen Charlotte (still inside her metallic walking box) and Timmy, all of them having been mentioned back in chapter 2 of the fic!

"Oh crap. This ain't good at all." Masato remarked.

"Since there isn't enough room to fight here for several battles at once," Steven said, smirking at Masato's words, "You shall...fight everywhere! NOW...GO!"

Without another word, Himawari and Queen Charlotte jumped back up onto the roof, Kouzan and Timmy went speeding off down the road to who-knows-where, and Chagecha and Aku were to face off against the Five Yangokī Siblings!

Grabbing Doraji by the head, Steven dragged him into the diner, saying, "Come...I have something for you to prepare yourself for when it is your turn to kill Chagecha once and for all."

'Ugh...I guess we gotta win this first...' Chagecha figured, getting into a fighting pose. Standing beside him, Aku pulled out his long black sword and snapped, "We can win this...easy!"

"I SURE HOPE SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

'We can't be useful AT ALL.' Masato and Longhorn Onizawa thought, sighing.

'...I want bacon...' Kotarou thought to himself.

And now...the ultimate tri-battle marathon begins!

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - 'Cromartie High School' is a hilarious gag manga series where the dub is actually really good. It even has do to with yankees and such, so it's kind of like Chagecha without fighting and less visual gags.

(2) - Translated as 'Yanki Control', basically just the Japanese writing of 'yanki manipulation'.


	10. LOLCats and Pretty Rave Girls

_Steven leaves Chagecha and the others to be killed by his mind-controlled henchmen! Now what?!_

On the roof of 'LA FLUX' diner, a dangerous and hopefully sexy catfight between Himawari and Queen Charlotte was about to begin. A cold wind whipped through the air, gently blowing Himawari's skirt slightly upwards. The giant mechanical box, complete with spider-like legs for movement, stood still and didn't make a single move.

"So...you're Queen Charlotte, head yankee of Shitagi High(1)? You seem pretty comfy in that freakish box of yours..." Himawari remarked, spinning her chain ball around effortlessly.

No response arose from Queen Charlotte or from the mechanical box she hid herself in.

"...Ignorin' me, huh? WELL...I'LL JUST MAKE YOU PAY ATTENTION TO ME!" Himawari snapped, and she swung her chain ball against the side of the mechanical box, knocking it over onto the ground. However, still nothing happened.

Snarling, Himawari shouted, "C'MON...YOU'RE BEING CONTROLLED BY THAT GUY OF THE 'FIVE MASTERS', RIGHT? YOU'RE BEING FORCED TO KILL ME, RIGHT?! WELL, HURRY UP AND GET OUT HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS!"

Finally, just as Himawari had demanded, smoke began to pour out of the interior of the box as the door slowly creaked open. Although the intensifying smoke made it hard to see, Himawari was able to make out a hand emerging from within the box.

'Finally...she's come out...the Queen of Hell...Queen Charlotte...she's always been one of the top yankees I've wanted to fight...now I can get my chance...'

Suddenly, Himawari realized that the smoke was beginning to surround her, and that it now had a slight pink tint to its coloring. "W...Wait! What the hell...is going on?!" For some reason, the smoke emitting from the box seemed to have a life of its own!

"Ooh...are you...Himawari-chan? You sound cute...I like that in a girl..." purred a woman's voice from within the growing smoke.

Himawari wasn't sure what to do, and she grew fearful that maybe this fight wasn't such a good idea...and a long sharp object suddenly tore through the back of her left rib.

"Augh..." Himawari clenched her teeth and fell on one knee, clutching at the object sticking through her; it was a metal rod of sorts, with the end sharpened to resemble a tip of a sword and it was covered in weird 'Hello Kitty' stickers. Strangely, although the rod had pierced her, she didn't feel any pain. Before she could ponder on this any longer, several more rods flew out of the smoke towards her, and there was no way she could dodge them...

'...I've already lost...?'

Clutching her head and closing her eyes, Himawari awaited for her death to come swiftly...but instead, she felt a pair of lips press against hers. Snapping her eyes open, she saw a young woman with long red hair...and she realized something rather disturbing.

'QUEEN CHARLOTTE...IS SHE KISSING ME?!'

"You're mine now, kitty..." she purred, nipping at Himawari's ear. It seemed that she had stopped the other rods at the last moment, and even the rod in Himawari's body was gone.

Gulping, Himawari tried to contain her fury as she snarled, "I...I...AM NOT...A-ANYONE'S KITTY, YOU PSYCHO DYKE!!" Then, she quickly snatched up her chainball and smashed it into Queen Charlotte's head at point blank. Blood began to drip down the red-haired woman's face, she didn't seem affected by the hit at all.

'WHY THE HELL DOES MY CHAINBALL NOT EVEN KILL ANYONE ANYMORE?!'

Smiling, Queen Charlotte said, "Aww...you tried to attack me, and called me mean names...that's bad...bad kitties need to punished...I'll make sure you don't talk back to me ever again...although I do kind of like you as you are, I have no choice..." Raising her hand in the air, a long black needle formed out of her palm and she thrust it into Himawari's neck, causing her to shout out in pain.

Coughing up blood, Himawari dug her fingers into Queen Charlotte's back as she hissed, "W...What did you do to me, you crazy gay bitch?!"

"You'll find out soon enough..." Queen Charlotte whispered, and then Himawari heard her panties tear in the back. Glancing over her shoulder, her eyes widened in horror when she saw...that she had grown a tail.

"You're gonna be my kitty...forever..." Queen Charlotte snickered, grabbing onto Himawari's tail and feeling the fur covering it.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH?! WAIT...BUT CHAGECHA SAID YOU HAD A POODLE! WHY DO YOU LIKE CATS?!"

"He lied to you because he's an idiot, kitty."

"DAMN HIM TO HELL!"

* * *

Meanwhile, back in the front entrance of the 'LA FLUX' diner, Chagecha and Aku were about to engage in battle with the Five Yangokī Siblings, while Masato, Longhorn Onizawa and Kotarou watched from the sidelines.

"I'd never thought I'd have to fight the legendary Five Yangokī Siblings..." Chagecha remarked.

"DON'T ACT SO COOL! YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT THEM!" snapped Masato.

'I wonder if Usagi is okay without me...' Longhorn Onizawa thought.

Five Yangokī Siblings all struck similar poses and announced together, "AS WE ARE 'OBVIOUSLY' UNDER THE CONTROL OF MASTER STEVEN, WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO KILL YOU! PLEASE FORGIVE US!"

"THEY REALLY AREN'T UNDER CONTROL! THEY SAID THE WORD 'OBVIOUSLY' WITH QUOTATION MARKS, JUST LIKE I DID RIGHT NOW! THEY'RE JUST EVIL!" Masato snapped.

The Yangokī Sibling in the middle, who was apparently the leader, shrugged and replied, "Well, we had to make Master Steven believe we were under control so we'd get a chance to fight Chagecha, especially after all the stuff we've heard about him and all the battles he's won! We wanna test our power against him!"

"...If that's what you want, you'll get it..." Chagecha replied, and he removed his hat, revealing a small tree growing out of a bald spot on the top of his head.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY CRAP!" everyone in the area cried, including some passerby.

Then, Chagecha reached up and tore the tree off and threw it to the side. After that, he put his hat back on and said, "Alright...let's fight!"

'WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU JUST DO, THOUGH?!'

The middle Yangokī Sibling took a step forward and exclaimed, "ALRIGHT...Yangokī Siblings, unite!" Then, all five of them leaped into the giant ball of hair that connected their hair together, and it began to pulsate and swell.

'Wha...Wha...WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!'

After about a minute, the Five Yangokī Siblings had now become...The Yangokī Beast, a giant bulbous creature with a single red eye and arms and feet(2). "NOW, HOW CAN YOU WIN AGAINST THE ULTIMATE HAIR MONSTER?!" Yangokī Beast mocked, his voice like roaring thunder.

"W-Wait! Now we're fighting a hair monster?! This battle confuses me so!" Aku cried, desperately in need of an explanation.

"You know...I'm confused too." Chagecha admitted.

"DIE!" Yangokī Beast snapped, and he smashed his fists down upon both Chagecha and Aku.

"OH NO! SEMPAI...AND, UH, AKU!...THAT'S YOUR NAME, RIGHT?" Masato exclaimed in horror.

* * *

_Meanwhile, at Wal-Mart aisle 9..._

With his bamboo sticks out, a few drops of sweat rolled down Kouzan's face as he had to lean back to stare at Timmy's face; the guy was just so freakin' huge!

"Well...you look like the kind of guy who eats all his veggies..." Kouzan remarked with a forced grin.

Pulling one of the large cigars out of his mouth, Timmy held it up and tapped it, causing ash to pile down on Kouzan's head. "You...are weak." the ogre man grunted in a deep voice.

Kouzan was silent for a moment. Then, he grabbed a can of tuna off the shelf behind him and opened it. He then took a screw out of his pocket, placed it inside the tuna, and closed it back up(3). Finally, Kouzan threw it high into the air.

At that moment, Timmy's eyes followed the can of tuna, and Kouzan took that moment to dash forward and slashed past the giant man with his bamboo sticks, leaving a large 'X' on Timmy's body.

"HAKUTEN...MAIYUKI! I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS THE NAME OF MY ATTACK, AND IT PROBABLY ISN'T!"

However, Timmy just let out a grunt, scratched his giant hairy gut and said, "Uh...was that all?"

Kouzan's mouth fell wide open. 'OH SHIT. IT DIDN'T WORK. UH...THAT WAS ALL I HAD.'

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - Japanese for 'women's underwear'.

(2) - The Yangokī Beast is basically the 'Yellow Devil' from the Megaman games.

(3) - I DROPPED THE SCREW IN THE TUNA! Kenan and Kel.


	11. Cream Puffs and Pumpkin Pie

A/N: Although this is supposed to be based after a gag manga, it's more serious than anything. Then again, Chagecha is more serious than Bo-bobo, right? Please read and review, though...

* * *

_It seems Steven's henchmen are harder than expected! Can Chagecha win?!_

"...I don't think I can win..." Chagecha remarked, dressed like a business salesman.

"Yeah...I agree..." Aku replied, also dressed in the same attire.

"HEY, YOU TWO GUYS ARE STILL ALIVE! THAT'S GREAT!" Masato exclaimed.

Longhorn Onizawa wasn't pleased, though. 'Is my point of existence...nothing more than a cruel joke by nature?'

Chuckling, Yangokī Beast boasted, "SO, YOU TWO ESCAPED MY ATTACK! I'M IMPRESSED! WELL...NOT REALLY, BUT NOW I SHALL KILL YOU!"

Several small balls of fluff floated out of Yangokī Beast's body and just hovered there for a moment before attaching themselves to Chagecha and Aku.

"W...What is this? Cheese?" Aku asked as he sprinkled some salt onto the fluff and took a bite. "Bleh! It tastes like hair!"

"THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS HAIR, YOU MORON!" Yangokī Beast, Masato and Longhorn Onizawa all cried at the same time.

Chagecha clenched his teeth and snapped, "What is this, you big annoying thing?!"

"Well, you see-"

Suddenly, Yangokī Beast's explanation was interrupted when a feminine voice from the roof called, "Hey! Up here! Up here!"

Everyone looked up and saw Queen Charlotte smiling down at them...and she was holding hands with a flushed Himawari, who now had cat ears and tail. For some reason, she was dressed in a slutty maid's outfit, as well.

"Do you like her? She's mine now, and you can't have her!" Queen Charlotte mocked, laughing at Masato and Chagecha.

"H...HIMAWARI?! ARE YOU OKAY?!" Masato cried in shock.

"SHUT UP. DON'T TALK TO MY KITTY. YOU NASTY, NASTY BOY." Queen Charlotte snarled, her eyes flashing dangerously, "I HATE MEN MORE THAN ANYTHING."

Chagecha suddenly had an idea. Grabbing Masato by the back of the shirt, he replied, "Oh? You hate men? Well...YOU'RE REALLY GONNA HATE THIS!" Then, with all his might, the fedora-wearing hero tossed Masato up onto the roof, and he landed a few feet away from Queen Charlotte and Himawari.

"GOOD LUCK, MASATO-KUN! KICK HER FINELY-TONED BOOTY FOR ME, WILL YA?!" Chagecha shouted before turning his attention back to Yangokī Beast.

"So...you were saying?" Aku asked, acting like nothing had happened.

Blinking a few times, Yangokī Beast stammered, "Uh...y-yes, right...you see, those balls of fluff will actually continue to suck out your yanki energy throughout the battle. If you two cannot win before you run out, you'll both die! WA HA HA HA!"

'DAMN! I KNEW IT WAS A MISTAKE TO GO THROUGH THE CAR WASH YESTERDAY!' Chagecha thought when he realized his coat pockets were full of lint.

Meanwhile, on the roof, Queen Charlotte was holding Himawari tightly against her for protection as Masato regained consciousness. "Dammit..." he muttered, rubbing his head, "Sempai, why do you have to throw so hard...and fast?"

"K...Kitty, protect me...please..." Queen Charlotte whispered, pressing her body against Himawari's. Himawari herself had a glazed look over her eyes, and she didn't seem to even have the energy for the simplest movements. She had the look of an anime/manga character who's been emotionally broken, and that made Masato angry.

'YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE EMOTIONALLY BROKEN IN A GAG MANGA SPIN-OFF FAN FIC...UNLESS IT'S FUNNY! AND THIS, MY FRIENDS, IS NOT!'

"Go away!" Queen Charlotte whined, her wide eyes full of fear, "Me and kitty are in love, and there's nothing you can do about it! Go away! Leave me alone! Don't take her from me again! Please!"

"I'm sorry...but I have to...she's my friend..." Masato said, still breathing a bit heavily. He had to be as careful as possible; it was already obvious that Queen Charlotte was mentally unstable, and Masato himself couldn't fight, so any violent confrontation was definitely dangerous.

"I...I don't want to lose another one...not another one..." Queen Charlotte whimpered, covering her face with her hands.

'She's like a little kid...it makes me feel bad for her.' Masato thought.

Without warning, an evil smirk formed on Queen Charlotte's plump lips, and she snapped, "I'LL KILL YOU FOR TRYING TO TAKE KITTY FROM ME!"

Suddenly, several giant cat claws burst out of the ground and swiped at Masato, who barely jumped out of the way in time, causing only his shirt to be slightly teared. Then, even more cat claws continued to form, and Masato was having trouble avoiding them. He let out a scream as one of the claws dragged across his arm, slicing it and splattering blood on the floor.

"DAMMIT!" Masato fell to the ground, and he struggled to get back up as another cat claw popped out from behind, ready to strike him down once and for all.

"OH...NOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

"YES! DIE!" cackled Queen Charlotte insanely.

However, instead of scratching him to death, the giant cat claw handed Masato a bouquet of flowers and then blasted off into outer space like a rocket ship.

'That was...odd...'

"ARGH! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST GO AWAY?!" Queen Charlotte snarled. Raising her hands, several metal rods with 'Hello Kitty' stickers covering them formed in the air, all of them aimed straight at Masato.

Getting up, Masato had no choice but to run as the rods flew at him. "AAAAAAAHH!"

He dodged the first two rods that dived towards him, but the third one nearly tore into his leg, causing him to wobble off-balance for a moment. Queen Charlotte laughed heartily at Masato's distress and held Himawari close, feeling her up as she did.

Unfortunately, Masato soon came to the very edge of the roof, and as he stared down at the ground many feet below...one of the rods successfully pierced through his chest.

Coughing up blood, Masato looked over his shoulder and he took one last glance at Himawari before collapsing over the edge, cursing himself for being so weak...

'Dammit...dammit...dammit...dammit...WHY DO I KEEP SAYING DAMMIT?!'

Suddenly, as he plummeted towards the ground with the rod still sticking through his body, something snapped inside Masato...

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"

At that moment, Chagecha felt a powerful rush of yanki energy. 'What...what the hell was that?! Was that...MASATO?!'

"HA HA! YOU GOT DISTRACTED!" Yangokī Beast cackled, punching Chagecha in the face.

Back on the roof, Queen Charlotte smirked and sneered, "Well, he's finally dead now...so I can have you all to myself, kitty." Then, she leaned over and pressed her lips against Himawari, who didn't even bother trying to fight back. Their tongues mixed together in fevered passion, at least, that's how it was in Queen Charlotte's twisted little mind.

"STOP THAT RIGHT NOW."

Gasping, Queen Charlotte lifted her head...and saw Masato was now floating in mid-air, his body covered in a golden aura. The rod was held tightly in his right hand, and the hole it made on his chest immediately healed itself.

"Oh...oh my god...you...you're a freakin' monster..." Queen Charlotte stammered, her eyes now full of fear.

Suddenly, a evil smirk formed on Masato's lips. Holding out his arms, he said, "Heh. Girl...I'm gonna kill you good for what you did."

Queen Charlotte shrieked, and quickly summoned another set of rods. However, they all immediately burst to ashes they moment they came in contact with Masato's aura.

"...Are you done yet?" Masato asked, his voice calm yet full of rage at the same time.

Biting her lip, Queen Charlotte said nothing.

Then...Masato grinned. "NOW THEN...IT'S TIME THAT I WIPE YOU OFF THE FACE OF THE PLANET!"

* * *

A/N: Sorry it's kind of short. I'm busy with other things, both academic and personal...so this might not have another chapter for a while, okay?


	12. Kiwis and Calamari

_Masato has awoken to his true powers?! And...IT'S REALLY SURPRISING, ISN'T IT?! Well, let's continue from where we left off..._

Closing his eyes, Masato crossed his arms and began to chant, "Frilly meats...frilly meats...frilly meats...frilly meats...frilly meats..."

"WHAT THE HELL?!" Queen Charlotte exclaimed in confusion.

Suddenly, Masato's eyes back snapped open, and his immense aura changed from a golden yellow to a purplish black. His irises grew a reddish tint, and his hair also became black and lost its spikey luster. Masato's expression became more demonic and sinister, and an intense chill crawled up Queen Charlotte's spine, her grip around Himawari's seemingly lifeless body becoming tighter.

"I SHALL DESTROY YOU...WITH THE POWER OF MY BURNING FISTS OF TRAGIC MIGHT!" Masato sneered, his body still transforming.

'Oh my god...he's going to kill me...a man is going to kill me...a man...' Queen Charlotte thought, her mind racing. Her heart was practically pounding out of her chest.

Then...a thought came to her. 'Yes...I know how to kill this man...once and for all...' she planned, smiling wickedly.

* * *

Meanwhile, down below by the diner entrance, Chagecha spat up blood as Yangoki Beast smashed him head-first into the ground several times over. The fedora-wearing hero had been momentarily distracted by Masato's sudden awakening to his yanki power, and now he was getting pummeled. Aku, however, was just sitting nearby in a cross-legged position and drinking green herbal tea.

"I...I COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP RIGHT NOW!" Chagecha screamed before being punched hard in the gut again.

Quickly finishing off the rest of the tea, Aku stood up and stretched. "Yeah, yeah...I'll be right there..."

"MAN, IT SUCKS TO BE USELESS!" Longhorn Onizawa remarked from the sidelines.

"...At least, my powers will definitely get revealed next chapter...hopefully..." Kotarou said, feeling more and more depressed by the second.

Aku unsheathed his black sword once again and held it out in front of him, its tip pointing right at Yangoki Beast's back. Closing his eyes, Aku muttered something under his breath, "Magnum Stretch..."

Suddenly, coils of green energy began to swirl around the blade of the sword, and Aku bent down into a jumping position. A dangerous glint flashed in his eyes for a moment.

Then, Aku dashed forward and screamed, "YA...KAAAAAAAAATA-KAAAAAA!!"

With a single slash of his blade, Aku completely sliced Yangoki Beast in two just as it was about to punch Chagecha again. It seemed the battle was finally over.

"Heh...not yet."

Suddenly, the two halves of Yangoki Beast's body immediately reconnected, and now it appeared as if it had not been hurt at all. "That was a nice try," it taunted, "But...you'll need to do better than that."

Aku was a bit bewildered for a moment, but then he regained his cool. His sword still in hand, the orange-haired man smirked and replied, "Well, I was hoping I could have killed you with that technique, so I guess...I'll need to get more serious...YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG-MAN!"

'...HUH?!'

Turning to Longhorn Onizawa and Kotarou, Aku said, "Take Chagecha and patch him up. He's too injured to fight anymore right now. He'll be needed for the battle against Steven, though. I'll finish this guy off myself."

Nodding, the two currently useless members of the group quickly lifted up Chagecha and carried him off the battlegrounds. Once Chagecha was gone, Aku pressed his index finger and his middle finger against his forehead and whispered:

"紡績クローバー...(1)"

* * *

Masato's body had taken on a complete transformation now. His whole body except for his head was wrapped in a long black leathery substance; almost passable as clothes, but it was obviously something much more, created out of his own yanki energy. His hair was now long and pitch-black, and it fell behind his back. A small red dot with cracks forming around it had appeared on his forehead. Like before, his aura was now purplish-back and his eyes were blood-red. He seemed like a completely different person than he was only last chapter.

"Do you like it?" Masato asked Queen Charlotte, who had left Himawari behind and was now standing up to face him, "This is what I shall call...my 'Behemoth Cual' Mode."

"..." Queen Charlotte said nothing in response.

Smirking, Masato said, "Look, let me clear one thing up before I annihilate you atom by atom...I'm not mad at you for taking Himawari as your own."

"...What?"

"You see," Masato continued, his face calm yet frightening at the same time, "I am Masato, but I am also NOT Masato. Do you get it? I am everything he is...and everything he is not."

"Are you...a separate entity?" Queen Charlotte asked.

Masato shook his head. "No. Like I said, I am Masato...and I am also NOT Masato."

"ARGH! THIS IS GETTING ANNOYING!" Queen Charlotte snapped, and then she charged at Masato.

'Hmm...blindly charging at me like that...she must have a plan...' Masato figured.

Suddenly, just when they were only a few inches from each other, Queen Charlotte ducked down and thrust her hand forward and a long black needle emerged from her palm and pierced into Masato's leg before he even reacted.

"HA HA HA HA! NOW...YOU'LL BECOME A KITTY TOO!" Queen Charlotte cackled...but then Masato smashed his foot into her face and she was sent tumbling backwards as blood poured from her nose.

Pulling the needle out of his leg, Masato crushed it to pieces in his hands and snarled, "Hmph...I thought you had a good plan in mind...you idiot..."

Queen Charlotte felt burning tears leak out of her eyes as she struggled to stand up. Although her face was covered in blood and her nose was a mess, she still wasn't out yet. 'I...I can't lose...I don't want to lose her...not again...'

"Girl...you're don't want to lose Himawari, right?" Masato suddenly said, and Queen Charlotte let out a gasp.

Suddenly, Masato sat down and crossed his legs. Using one hand to support his head, he said, "I'll listen to your story before I kill you. I love lesbian dramas...best thing since 'Cheese-In-A-Can'!"

Queen Charlotte had no idea what her opponent was plotting, but she decided it would be best to just go through with it. After all...if she was going to be defeat soon anyway, why not create a bit of dramatic back story?

"Fine...I'll tell you...back at my school, I started a relationship with another woman...a classmate of mine. We were so happy together, and we loved each other very much...it made me so glad that I was able to be with such a wonderful angel like her. However, one day...somehow, a group of boys in our class found out, and...and...and they killed her. They killed my Kitty! They were thrown in jail for it, but I knew that when they got out, they might come after me next...so I used all the rage and sorrow I felt and fought and fought until I became the number one yankee of Shitagi High...because I miss her."

"Kitty was your personal nickname for her...?" Masato asked with a bored look on his face.

Queen Charlotte nodded. "Yes."

Standing back up, Masato brushed himself off. Cracking his knuckles, he stated, "That was a nice story...too bad it sucked. Now...let's get this over with."

Suddenly, a copy of Fire Emblem: Radiant Dawn fell at Masato's feet.

'OOH...I HAVEN'T BEATEN THIS GAME YET! DAMN LUCIA KEEPS MESSING ME UP!'


	13. Potato Pancakes And Oatmeal Cookies

A/N: Happy Birthday, DevilsArcadia777!

* * *

_It's the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny!! Continuing where we last left off, Masato was about to unleash his newly-awakened powers upon an emotionally-heartbroken Queen Charlotte..._

Raising his left hand, Masato formed several bubble-like orbs floating about a few feet over his head. Queen Charlotte quickly got into a defensive position to protect herself for whatever was coming next. The air surrounding them was so thick and twisted by their immense energy that it became incredibly hard to breathe normally. Himawari just continued to sit and watch the battle, her face and eyes devoid of emotion.

'I'm afraid...I might actually die here...I'm so afraid...' Queen Charlotte thought as her mind started to break down.

"I will end this quickly..." Masato remarked, and he swung his hand, and the orbs suddenly puffed up and became covered in spikes. Then, the orbs flew at Queen Charlotte, and although she planned on jumping backwards to avoid them, the orbs moved even faster than her. She let out a scream of pain as the spiked orbs crashed into her body and pierced themselves onto her skin.

"AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!"

Queen Charlotte stumbled, and she let off a powerful burst of yanki energy, incinerating the orbs. "You...you thought something pitiful like that would work?!" She snapped.

"I suppose so." Masato replied as several weird faces flew by in the background.

"RAAAAAAGH! YOU BASTARD! KITTEN-KITTEN DRILL!" Two large drills formed on Queen Charlotte's arms and she pierced both of them into Masato's chest. Surprisingly, he didn't seem injured in the slightest, even though they were sticking through his body.

"You are pathetic, indeed." Masato snarled, and the drills shattered to pieces, leaving Queen Charlotte in a shocked, wide-mouthed gaze of voiceless terror. However, she quickly regained her composure and performed her next attack.

"YANKEE KITTEN STRIKER-"

"Stop."

Queen Charlotte froze up and lost her concentration, and Masato was already standing in front of her. He grabbed her wrist and held it tightly enough to keep her from even moving. Leaning closely, he whispered, "Tell me...you know you can't win, correct? So, why do you keep fighting?"

Suddenly, hot tears began to leak out of Queen Charlotte's eyes. "I...I don't want to lose my Kitty. I finally...I finally have her again, and you want to take her away from me! How dare you! How dare you!"

Masato's face remained calm. "That is not your Kitty. That is Himawari...and she belongs with me."

Queen Charlotte blinked a few times and looked over at Himawari. "You're...you're right. Why didn't I see it before, though...? It's so obvious?"

Masato pulled her into a hug and replied, "It's because you were blinded by the love you had for your Kitty. You miss her alot, I understand that. But...you need to move on. You need to find a new Kitty. A Kitty who will WANT to be with you, as well? Love is about people caring deeply about each other, not one person forcing the other to love them. Do you understand?"

"Y...Yes."

"Good. Now...good night. I wish you happiness in your love life."

Then, several black tendrils formed off of Masato's demonic clothes, flew into Queen Charlotte's body, and she collapsed to the floor in a heap. Checking her pulse, Masato let out a sigh of relief to see that she was only unconscious. He wasn't sure if that technique would either just knock her out or kill her. He was glad it was the former.

He then walked over to Himawari and lifted her into his arms. Her ears and tail were now gone, and she was sleeping peacefully. Masato stared at her serene face for a moment before snapping out of it.

With one last glance at Queen Charlotte, Masato leaped off of the roof and landed behind Longhorn Onizawa and Kotarou, who had wrapped Chagecha up with so many bandages it made him look like a mummy.

"HOLY CRAP! MASATO LOOKS LIKE...MAC AND CHEESE!" Longhorn Onizawa gasped.

Masato then closed his eyes, and his immense yanki aura immediately vanished. Snapping his eyes back open, Masato looked around in confusion and asked, "Uh...what just happened? How'd I get back down from the roof? AH! WHAT HAPPENED TO SENSEI?!"

Kotarou stood up and said, "Dude, you kicked some major ass AND you saved Himawari...who're you're standing on right now."

Glancing down, Masato realized he was standing on Himawari, who had just woken up.

'W...WASN'T I JUST HOLDING HER A MOMENT AGO?!' thought Masato.

"MASATO!!"

"H...Himawari...p-please don't kill me..."

Standing up, Himawari grabbed a frightened Misawa by the shirt and held him close. "You bastard..." she hissed, before kissing him full on the lips.

"GUH?!" Masato exclaimed.

"Thanks for saving me...hero." Himawari whispered before continuing the kisses.

Longhorn Onizawa, Kotarou and Usagi (WHERE DID HE COME FROM?!) all stared on, completely speechless. 'DAMN, THAT LUCKY MOFO!'

"Hoo...why is it that the main hero of these stories never gets to suck any face...?" Chagecha grunted in disappointment.

* * *

_Meanwhile, back with Aku and Yangoki Beast's battle..._

"WHAT...WHAT IS THIS?!" Yangoki Beast exclaimed.

After activating his release style, Aku's body had broken apart into thousands of small cubes, and those cubes were now swirling around Yangoki Beast at high speeds.

Yangoki Beast curiously reached out to touch one of the cubes, only for it to zap him. "Damn things..." it cursed under its breath. Suddenly, the cubes came to a stop, and they began to take on a whole new form.

"HUH?!"

The cubes transformed into chibi versions of Aku, who all let out war cries before slicing through Yangoki Beast's giant hair body. Due to so many of the little Akus cutting into him, Yangoki Beast was at a complete loss as he was torn to shreds, and left as nothing but a pile of fluff.

All of the chibi Akus reformed, and reverted back to the original Aku. Sticking his katana back into his head, Aku stuck his hands in his pockets and put on a smirk.

"Hmph. That was an easy win." he said.

NOW...WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON WITH KOUZAN?! FIND OUT NEXT CHAPTER!


	14. Pickles And Cat Litter

A/N: This story is going to go on hiatus for a bit after this chapter. Sorry! Also, I apologize that this chapter is really short compared to everything else...I need some time to think up of new ideas and such.

* * *

_Queen Charlotte and Yangoki Beast have been defeated, but what has Kouzan been up to in his fight against Timmy?!_

Kouzan was breathing heavily as he ran down the aisles, screaming for everyone to get out of his way. Suddenly, the soup section burst apart, and Timmy came charging through the smoke. Spinning around, foam practically poured from the giant man's mouth as he chased after Kouzan.

"COME...BACK...HEEEEEEEEEEEEERE!" roared Timmy.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Kouzan cried back as he leaped over an old woman who was struggling to move her shopping cart.

Raising his fists, Timmy snapped, "MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, YOU OLD BIDDY!"

Suddenly, the old lady smashed Timmy across the face with her cane, and he fell on his ass in shock and surprise.

"...You'll never win if you continue to let rage take control of your mind..." the old lady snarled in the tone of a master speaking to his/her unworthy apprentice.

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?!"

Seeing that Timmy was currently being distracted, Kouzan took this moment to jump into the deli mart, and hide behind the butcher's apron...while he was still wearing it.

"GTFO, U TROLL!" the butcher snapped, blood from his most recent steak still dripping from his knife.

Shrieking like a little girl, Kouzan did as demanded, and he ran off. Soon, Timmy was once again chasing after him.

"DIIIIIIIIIIIE!" Timmy swung his axe, and several energy waves were sent flying at Kouzan.

"OH CRAP!" Leaping to the side, Kouzan barely dodged in time, and he watched as the energy waves tore right through the cereal aisle with ease.

Chuckling, Timmy mocked, "C'mon out, little ant...so I can crush you! Geh heh heh..."

Pulling out his bamboo blades again, Kouzan closed his eyes and focused. 'I need to win...I have to win...I MUST WIN!' He went over a thousand different skills he had mastered, but he figured none of them would be effect...except for one.

"THERE YOU ARE!" Timmy exclaimed as he pounced in front of Kouzan, his axe held high. Foam flew out of the giant man's mouth like he washaving a seizure from all of this.

Suddenly, Kouzan's eyes snapped back open...even though you couldn't tell anyway with all that hair.

"CHIMACHI-KOUZAN SURGE OF KAMIKAZE 002!"

Timmy's axe tore through Kouzan's face...only he then vanished.

Blinking a few times, Timmy looked around in complete confusion. "W...WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED?!"

"Over here...jackass."

Turning around, Timmy coughed up blood when a huge sword came crashing down on him. Looking up, he saw that Kouzan had now transformed into a giant Samurai-like figure, completely covered in the medieval armor of the Japanese samurai. A dark, lime-green aura flowed off his body, and two glowing red eyes peered out from within the demonic helmet.

"What...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU?!" Timmy screamed in horror.

Without answering, Kouzan unsheathed ten swords at once, holding them in between his fingers. Poor Timmy pleaded for help, but it was no use. Kouzan brought the tips of the swords down upon him...and Timmy was finished.

Transforming back to his human form, Kouzan let out a sigh of relief. 'Man...didn't think I'd be able to pull that off...it's a good thing I remembered it...'

However, a trail of blood poured down Kouzan's face, and he winced in pain. 'I knew it...using that technique...was a bad idea...if I use it again, I might actually die...'

Wiping the blood from his face, Kouzan quickly ran out of the market. Screaming in pleasure, he fell into an open manhole by accident...and it was full of drunk alligators playing checkers.

'OH DEAR.'


	15. Licorice and Lollipops

A/N: Alright, I guess I kinda lied...sorta. As I am easily influenced, just seeing chapter 7 of Chagecha made me wanna continue this story, so here ya go!

* * *

_The enemies have been beaten, and now Chagecha's team must face off against Steven...and Doraji!!_

Staring at Himawari and Masato suspiciously, Longhorn Onizawa asked, "So...are you two dating now or something?"

Masato blushed a bit and replied, "Uh...maybe?"

"I think we've been too serious lately!" Chagecha exclaimed, still wrapped up like a mummy wearing a fedora, "We gotta...let loose and be FUNKY FRESH!"

Masato held up a badly-drawn picture of Himawari and held it over said girl's face. "...Like this?" he asked.

"YEAH! JUST LIKE THAT!"

Grabbing the picture, Himawari had a dangerous aura flowing around her as she crumbled it up and ate it.

'SO...SO SCARY...' Longhorn Onizawa thought, shivering.

"Hmph...that bastard Steven's the only one left, huh...he kidnapped Doraji..." Kotarou remarked.

Masato gasped. "Oh, yeah! That's what we were supposed to do! Save Doraji! I...I completely forget. I'm such a terrible person!"

Chagecha gave Masato a thumbs-up and said, "Rest assured, my dear Masato-kun, we ALL forgot about Doraji."

"...Who?"

"Exactly!"

Suddenly, Usagi walked over to Chagecha and held out a sheet of paper for him. "This is your registration pamphlet for the 'Weird NJ' sweepstakes..."

"OKAY! THAT'S A LITTLE...TOO RANDOM, DON'TCHA THINK?!" Masato cried.

Chagecha kicked Usagi aside and cracked his neck all cool-like. "I'll send that Steven jackass back home in a body bag."

Masato threw his arms into the air and exclaimed, "SEMPAI...YOU'RE SO COOL! I'M YOUR ETERNAL FANBOY! YAY-YAY!"

'Dammit...I'll just have to KILL him later...' Chagecha thought, his face darkening in a dramatic fashion.

"So...ARE YOU READY TO FULFILL THE PRICELESS EXODIOUS CON-TRIPULAR?!" Longhorn Onizawa snarled.

"YEAH!" Chagecha and Aku exclaimed in unison.

'THE...THE WHAT?!' wondered Masato.

"LET'S...GOOOOOO!" Chagecha bellowed, and he, Longhorn Onizawa, Aku and Kotarou dashed into the diner. Masato and Himawari just stood there for a while, before heading off in the opposite direction.

As expected, the inside of the LA FLUX diner was completely empty. The tables were still set up, with empty glasses placed on top. Heading into the spacious dance hall, the group found a large open space in the middle of the wide room, with several cloth-covered tables surrounding it. And, sitting at one of those tables...was Steven. He was sipping a cup of tea while reading a GameInformer with a bored look on his face. A small, nervous octopus creature was standing nearby with a jug of tea in hand.

"THERE YOU ARE! YOU...YOU SON OF A GUN'S GUN OF A SON!" Chagecha exclaimed, a kangaroo jumping past him.

"Whoa!" Longhorn Onizawa gasped, "That made...NO SENSE!"

"You have too many lines..." Kotarou grunted.

Finishing off the rest of the tea, Steven smiled and quietly folded the magazine. He then placed it on the table, and slowly stood up. Still smiling, he just stood there for a while, completely calm.

After about five minutes...

"DUDE...DO SOMETHING ALREADY!" Chagecha, Aku, Longhorn Onizawa and Kotarou all snapped in fury.

"OH! I'm sorry," Steven said with a chuckle, "I'm just so awesome that I space out sometimes due to my extreme awesomeness..."

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE!"

Waving his hand, Steven turned his attention to large accumulation of shadow on the other end of the room. "COME ON OUT...MY PET!" he barked.

Suddenly, a gigantic robotic leg (similar to that of the Transformers) emerged from the shadows.

Shrieking like a little girl, Chagecha jumped behind Longhorn Onizawa for protection. "HOLY CRAP, IT'S A GIANT MECHANICAL LEG! OH MY GOD!"

"...Just keep watching!" Steven snapped.

Then, a huge mecha walked out; it was covered in various drills and had probably the coolest cerulean-blue paint job ever seen in these states. It's body was simplistic yet superior...if that makes any sense. And in the middle of its chest...was Doraji's head.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY CRAP, IT'S DORAJI!"

Steven cackled at their shocked faces and exclaimed, "Ha ha ha! I love it! Oh, how I love it! Come, fight your friend...and feel heart-wrenching sadness as you acknowledge the fact that you are the one who will have killed him!"

Chagecha thought about what Steven just said. "Wait...you're basically trying to tell me that I'm going to win this battle?"

"Uh...what?"

"You said that I'm going to feel 'heart-wrenching sadness as I acknowledge the fact that I am the one who will have killed him'...doesn't that mean I'm going to win?!"

"Well, I suppose," Steven said, a little confused, "But...but he's your friend! ARE YOU REALLY MORE INTERESTED IN WINNING THAN IN SAVING HIM?!"

Without a response, Chagecha leaped high up into the air and began plummeting down towards Doraji-bot. He held back his right fist and shouted, "FREEDOM OF THE PRESS JUSTICE PUNCH!"

'He's...he's an American Hero!'

Chagecha smashed his fist into the giant robot's face, and it blew apart upon impact, leaving Doraji lying on the floor, perfectly safe.

"Hey, I did it!" Chagecha gasped in surprise.

"Ah...ah...ah..." Steven was speechless.

Even worse, Doraji then immediately regained consciousness. Standing up, he stared at his own hands as he said, "I'm...free from his control! I CAN FIGHT AGAIN!"

"Yeah...whatever!" Chagecha grunted, kicking Doraji off to the side.

Rubbing his face, Doraji suddenly jumped on Chagecha's back and started gnawing on his head. "YOU BASTARD! HOW DARE YOU TREAT ME LIKE A PALE-SKINNED GUPPY AT THE BOTTOM OF A SALTY LAKE IN SWEDEN! I AM THE LEADER OF THE GEKIATSU HIGH SCHOOL GANG, AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT!"

"GET HIM OFF ME! GET HIM OFF ME! GET HIM...OFF ME!" Chagecha screeched.

Steven snarled and cupped his fists in fury. "They're mocking me...they're definitely mocking me!" he hissed through clenched teeth.

"Actually, I think they're just idiots...all of them." remarked the octopus with the tea jug.

Steven, however, was not about to let any of these super-powerful foes get away with their stupidity. He pressed his palm against his face and he began to laugh insanely. Slowly, slimy gill stalks began to emerge from his neck, his skin started to grow pale, and his entire body structure itself was going under an immense transformation.

Kotarou, the only one really paying attention, raised his eyebrows and said, "...Damn."

Glancing over at the enemy, Doraji (now dressed like a woman, with lipstick and all) shrieked and cried, "W-WHAT THE HELL IS THAT HIDEOUS THING?!"

"I think...it's supposed to be an Otter..." Kotarou replied, squinting.

Steven had now become an oversized version of an Axolotl, a sort of underwater salamander.

'THAT'S DEFINITELY NOT AN OTTER!'

"NOW...TO KILL YOU WITH MY POWER!!" Steven cackled, and he charged right at Chagecha...only to collapse due to the absence of water several seconds later.

An awkward silence filled the air...


	16. Lazing On A Sunday Afternoon

_Uh...this is the new chapter. It continues right were the last chapter left off. Also, if you like this fic alot and want to know whenever a new chapter is up, put it on your Story Alert. It'll make things easier for me too, if you know what I mean..._

After rejuvenating himself with the jug of tea, Steven quickly reverted back to his human form.

"Haah...haah...maybe...maybe that wasn't such a good idea..." Steven said, breathing heavily.

"Dude...can't you do ANYTHING?!" Chagecha snapped in annoyance.

"G...Give me a break!" Steven exclaimed, "I...I ALMOST DIED, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!"

Doraji smirked and jumped off of Chagecha's head, landing beside him. "Hmph! If that's the best you got...I can easily take you down! No sweat!"

"Do you...really think that?" Steven snarled. In reality, he was planning something, and it all had to start with this certain retort, but Doraji and the others were too slow to catch on. Thus, they were beginning to fall right into his trap. They should have just attacked then and there.

"...What do you mean?" Doraji asked with a cocked eyebrow and a cocktail dress the color of piss.

"What I'm saying," Steven explained, "Is that your power is NOTHING compared to Chagecha's. He could easily defeat me...you, on the other hand, would probably only leave me with a slight bruise!"

Doraji's face became so twisted with fury that he looked like Sylvester Stallone for a moment. "YOU...YOU...SAY WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!!"

Steven chuckled. "It's true! Doraji...you suck eggs!"

"GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH?!"

"KILL CHAGECHA AND PROVE YOU'RE STRONGER!!" Steven ordered.

Instead of doing as told, Doraji scoffed and, with a cutesy face, replied, "I could just kill you instead and still get the same satisfaction, y'know..."

"OH...RIGHT. CRAP." 'He's ruined my plan...already...'

"HERE I COME!" Unleashing a powerful yanki aura, Doraji dashed straight for Steven. However, just as Doraji reached out to grab the pompous bastard by the face, a giant tiger shark burst out of the ground with its gaping mouth wide open.

Pulling on a cat suit, Doraji dived right into the shark's gullet. "ONE DOWN THE HATCH! ALLEY-OOP!"

"OH NOEZ!" Chagecha cried, "IT ATE DORAJI! HE WAS SO YOUNG, SO TENDER...SO MOIST!"

"...Actually, Doraji let himself get eaten..." Usagi pointed out.

"I'LL DEFEAT YOU FOR THAT!" Chagecha barked, and he smashed his hands into the ground and dug out a giant golden shovel to fight with.

Longhorn Onizawa gasped. "This is as bad as reading yaoi fanfiction about me...AND KOTAROU!! I can see it happening."

A sudden blush formed on Kotarou's face.

"YOU CAN'T WIN, CHAGE-" Steven started to cackle before the side of the shovel was smashed into his face and he was sent sprawling off into the wall.

With a serious face (and his moustache missing for some reason) Chagecha grunted, "Your power may be great...but it is small as well."

'HUUUUUUUUH?!!'

Suddenly, the front doors swung open, and Masato and Himawari dashed in, looks of concern plastered on their faces. In Masato's sweaty hands was the newest issue of Weekly Shonen Jump, and he had it open to a certain manga...the _Chagecha _section.

"S-SEMPAI...THE MANGA'S BEEN CANCELED AFTER ONLY 8 CHAPTERS!"

Chagecha's face fell...and the whole world seemed to have suddenly appeared very cold and cruel to him.

'No...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...no...'

The powerful bloodlust that had flowed off of Chagecha's body was now gone, and the poor man slumped to the floor on his hands and knees in despair.

Seeing this, Steven sneered and snatched up the giant shovel Chagecha had just been wielding. "HEH HEH HEH...I'LL KILL YOU WITH YOUR VERY OWN WEAPON!!!"

"OH NO!! SEMPAI!!!" Masato cried in horror.

Laughing, Steven swung the shovel down upon Chagecha's head...only somehow he completely missed and hit the ground several inches away from the fedora-wearing man's face.

"HOW THE HELL DID I MISS?!" Steven cried in shock.

"HOW THE HELL DID HE MISS?!" Longhorn Onizawa, Usagi, Kotarou, Masato and Himawari all cried in shock.

Suddenly, a possible theory for missing such an easy, non-moving target formed in Steven's mind. 'It must...it must be that I actually feel SYMPATHETIC for this miserable little insect of a man! The fact that his manga is ending with only 8 chapters in serialization must have a powerful, unforeseen effect on my heart, leaving me to feel pity towards my very enemy! Do I...do I want to hug him? Do I want to hug him and make all the painful feelings go away?!'

Feeling like he should really do something to help his sempai, Masato quickly grabbed Longhorn Onizawa by the horns, spun around and threw the pitiful little thing(?) straight for Steven's head. "LONGHORN ONIZAWA...IT'S TIME TO PROTECT YOUR COUNTRY!!! HARD GAY(1) SALUTES YOU!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!"

However, just as Longhorn Onizawa was about to fly right into a rather shocked Steven's pretty face, Chagecha reached up, grabbed Onizawa by the foot and smashed him into the ground. Pulling the unconscious Onizawa into a deep hug, Chagecha sobbed, "I'M...I'M GONNA MISS YOU, BUDDY..."

'HE'S RUINING EVERYTHING...AND WE'RE TRYING TO HELP HIM, DAMMIT!!' Masato thought furiously.

Meanwhile, the octopus back at the table was busy playing Gyakuten Kenji(2) on his Nintendo DS...AND LOVIN' IT!

"So...what was your first lesbian experience like?" Kotarou asked Himawari since he couldn't think of anything better to talk about.

Himawari thought about it for a while. "Hmm...it was pretty good, to tell the truth, but I'm definitely not into being the submissive one. No way in the hell! That's why I decided to go with Masato in the end; I can easily make him do anything..."

"WHAT?! THAT'S THE ONLY REASON?!" Masato cried.

Walking up to the group with his hands behind his back, Usagi spoke up, "Umm...don't you think we should be focusing on defeating the enemy first? Or at least getting Chagecha to cheer up already?"

"OH, THAT'S RIGHT!"

"L-LET GO OF ME, YOU FREAK!!" Longhorn Onizawa shrieked as Chagecha squeezed him tighter.

Annoyed with all of this ongoing stupidity, Steven summoned the tiger shark again...only to find it was dead, and Doraji walked out on all fours while still wearing his cat suit.

"AUGH! I PAID 500 U.S. DOLLARS FOR THAT SHARK!!" Steven exclaimed.

Clenching his teeth and snarling, a powerful rage formed over Steven's body. "YOU...YOU...YOU SONS (AND DAUGHTER) OF BITCHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!"

Stomping on the ground, Steven summoned a huge wave of rocks and debris to fly out from behind him.

Looking up, Chagecha gasped and exclaimed, "OH SHIT, IT'S A WAVE!"

"NO SHIT, SHITLOCK!"

"THIS AIN'T GOOD SHIT!"

"WHAT THE SHIT IS TAKING SO LONG?!"

"WE NEED TO FIND THE COMPUTER SHIT(3)!"

'They sure say alot shit...' Masato thought with a sigh.

Before anyone could react, the giant wave crashed down upon them...including Steven, who had forgotten to get out of the way...

What happens next is something only Junior Commissioner Skye Gordon(4) knows!

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - Mainly something I used to make the fic seem more like a 'Japanese gag mang' by giving it Japanese references. **Razor Ramon Hard Gay** (レイザーラモンＨＧ, _Reizā Ramon HG_?, occasionally HG, Razor Ramon Sumitani or just **Hard Gay**) is the performing name of **Masaki Sumitani** (住谷正樹, _Sumitani Masaki_?), a Japanese comedian, wrestler and _tarento_ ("talent"). His act gained national attention and popularity when featured on the _Bakushō Mondaino Bakuten!_ (Daibakuten) Saturday variety show on TBS Television in Japan, in 2005. He should not be confused with American professional wrestler Scott Hall, whose use of the "Razor Ramon" stage name predates Sumitani's. Although WWE has trademarked the name "Razor Ramon", they have not responded against HG using the name Razor Ramon HG.

(2) - The new spin-off game of the Phoenix Wright/Ace Attorney series, where you play as his Prosecutor rival Miles Edgeworth!

(3) - Originally 'We Need to Find The Computer Room!'

(4) - A reference to Dragon Ball C, another in-progress multi-chapter crackfic staring the DBZ characters. It's pretty funny, at least I think so, but it deals with some more adult-oriented humor and language. Please read and review it if you're willing!


	17. Eggplants and Freddie Mercury

_Everyone has been buried underneath a wave of debris!! The continuation will only become more confusing as time goes on, I can assure you!_

Lifting his head out of the rocks, Masato realized that the entire 'LA FLUX' diner had been decimated in the assault; now, it just added to the already large pile of rubble covering the yankee warriors...and Steven.

"OH NO! SEMPAI! ARE YOU OKAY?!" Masato cried, hoping Chagecha would hear him.

Suddenly, a soup can-shaped robot wearing a name-tag that said 'MECHAZAWA'(1) rose out from between two large boulders. "Yes, yes...I'm fine..." he said calmly.

"YOU HAVE A SOOTHING VOICE," Masato exclaimed, "BUT YOU'RE NOT THE DROID I'M LOOKING FOR!...WAIT, YOU ARE A DROID! HOLY CRAP! MY REFERENCE DIDN'T WORK OUT AS WELL AS I HAD PLANNED!"

"That's what you get for being in a gag manga that only lasted 8 chapters..." Mechazawa chuckled before flying off into the sky.

'Curse him! Making fun of us...AGAIN!' Masato thought, clenching his fists in fury.

"I am also okay..." remarked an old man wearing a dog suit.

"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!!" Masato gasped.

Realizing he was also being watched, the old man quickly stood up and rocket boosters in his feet sent him flying off into the sky.

'Weird...'

Suddenly, Chagecha burst out of the rubble, and Doraji was holding on his coattails for dear life using his teeth. The two of them landed on top of a rather large boulder, struck simultaneous poses, and exclaimed in unison, "STEVEN...YOUR POWER IS NO MATCH...FOR THE USSR!!!"

For a moment, nothing happened, and then huge bursts of yanki energy began firing outwards, and the mountain of debris was blown to pieces. Standing upright and breathing heavily was Steven, completely and utterly infuriated. His hair was now a light-green color, and his skin was covered in red pulsating veins. The veins had even covered his eyes, which were practically bulging out of their sockets. Masato and Himawari were now standing together, and Longhorn Onizawa, Kotarou and Usagi were lying on the floor in puddles of their own blood for some reason.

"You...you Geikatsu bastards think you can win?!" Steven snarled, "That's where you're all wrong! I'm not like Curd, though...I won't lose myself to rage. I will eliminate all of you with my ultimate special yankee technique-"

"Pheh! As if I hadn't heard that bull before," Chagecha scoffed, "You guys always talk tough, but in the end you always lose! No matter what happens, I'm going to win..."

"OH YEAH?! SON OF A BITCH! WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE?!"

"Because...I'm the Main Character."

Steven's right eye twitched, and an overwhelming fury formed in his soul. "I'LL KILL EVERY ONE OF YOU SLACKERS! 3...2...1...OUENDAN(2)!!" The enraged opponent swung his arms around before clasping them around his chest, and he let out a simple sigh. Then...his entire body burst with immense muscles, and all of his clothes were torn to pieces, leaving him in nothing but a jock-strap. His head was still the same though, so it looked a little odd on top of his huge muscular body.

Snapping his eyes back open, Steven threw his head back and roared, "I'M GONNA CRUSH ALL OF YOU!!!!"

"OH CRIPES, HE'S REALLY OVERDOSED ON STEROIDS!" Masato exclaimed, "SEMPAI, WE NEED TO STOP THIS GUY BEFORE HE GOES 'SUPER SAIYAN BROLY'(3) ON OUR ASSES!"

However, Chagecha and Doraji were busy sending angry fan-mail to WSJ for canceling their series.

"YOU...SONS...OF...BITCHES!!" Doraji snapped, scribbling down his words and sticking it into a randomly-placed mailbox.

"I...WILL...KICK...YOUR...ASSES!" Chagecha snarled, doing the same action as Doraji.

"ARGH! WILL YOU TWO JUST PAY ATTENTION FOR ONCE?!" Masato barked at them.

Seeing that this was his chance to strike, Steven flew straight towards at Chagecha and pulled back his fist. "WA HA HA HA!! NOW...DIE!!!" he bellowed, his voice becoming more demonic by the second. Then, right as he was above the fedora-wearing hero, Steven swung...only to hit a bag of flour instead. The name 'CHAGECHA' had been written on the front of it.

"WHA...WHA...WHAAAAAAAT IS THIS?!" Steven screamed in fury.

"Dude...we're over here..." Chagecha called out to him. When Steven glanced up, however, Chagecha and Doraji were beginning to perform the Fusion Dance(4).

"FUUUU..."

"NOO!" Steven cried, flying at them in a rush, "I NEED TO KILL THEM BEFORE THEY-"

"SION..."

"STOP IT, YOU BASTARDS!"

"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"

Chagecha and Doraji slammed the tips of their fingers together, and they were enveloped in a bright shining light. Cursing his luck, Steven came to a stop and watched, afraid of what unbelievably powerful being that was about to be formed. Masato and the others stared on in awe, fully impressed by how truly amazing the two odd fighters were.

When the smoke finally cleared, only one person was standing in the place of Chagecha and Doraji. It was...

...a tall, thin woman in a crimson-red tank top and shabby blue jeans. She had long silver hair, and a masamune sword hanging on her waist. A 'お好み焼き'(5) tattoo was noticeable running down her left arm. When she raised her head, it was revealed that her irises were almost as white as snow, and Masato felt his face become hot as he stared at her.

Spitting to the side, the woman scowled and stated, "My name is Bohemian Rhaspody(6). You can call me B.R. or Bohera, if you'd like. So...who is it that I have to kill?"

'OH MY GOD, SHE'S HOT!' Masato, Longhorn Onizawa, Kotarou, Usagi and Steven thought.

'She has bigger boobs than me...damn her to hell!' Himawari thought, glaring jealously at Bohera's almost D-Cup but not quite C-cup cleavage.

"You...you're supposed to be Chagecha and Doraji combined?! But...you don't look like either of them!" Steven snarled, his maniacal composure weakened by the very sight of this mysterious fair-skinned beauty.

"Oh? You're the man I have to kill, huh?" Taking out a small notebook from her back pocket, Bohera flipped it open and scribbled down something quickly before putting it back away.

"...What did you just do?!" Masato asked her.

Bohera smiled innocently and replied, "I wrote down his name...so I can remember what to put on his body bag once I finish him off."

'WHOA...SHE'S ONE SASSY BITCH!'

Placing her hand on the handle of her sword, Bohera smirked. "I wonder...if I pop those muscles of yours, will air or blood come out? Hmm...so interesting."

'FORGET BEING SASSY...SHE'S A BONAFIDE PSYCHO!'

Bohera unsheathed her sword, and a huge eruption of yanki energy burst off of her body, nearly knocking Steven off balance. It was so intense that Usagi set up a large vat of boiling water and sat inside of it to cook himself to satisfy the beautiful swordswoman's needs.

"NO, USAGI-SAN! DON'T GIVE UP YOUR LIFE SO EASILY!" Longhorn Onizawa cried, trying to shake his dear friend out of it.

"It's no use...I want to give everything I own to make her happy...I really do..." Usagi mumbled. He had fallen completely head over heels in love with Bohera, and there was nothing to be done about it.

Turning to Kotarou, Longhorn Onizawa cried, "BROTHER! DEAR BROTHER! ...WAIT, WE'RE NOT BROTHERS! ANYWAY, HELP ME TALK SOME SENSE INTO USAGI-SAN!"

Unfortunately, Kotarou was busy singing a Linkin Park song underneath his breath. "So I'm breaking the habit...I'm breaking the habit tonight...this is what happens after you re-read a manga forty times over about a baby that gets put into a blender while the mom is lying on the floor, bleeding...keh heh heh..."

"CURSE YOU, LINKIN PARK, CURSE YOU ALL!!! AND...DAMN YOU ALL TO THE BOTTOM PITS OF HELL, YOU BABY-BLENDERERS!!! ...OH MY GOD, THAT'S SICK!!! I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WERE READING SOMETHING THAT HORRIBLE!!"

Tears poured down Kotarou's face. "Stop hurting the baby, mister...please stop hurting the baby..."

Anyway...O.O...

Getting into a fighting position, Steven snarked, "Hmph, you give off alot of power...but you're just a girl, and a fragile-looking one at that. A single punch of mine could shatter every bone in your body..."

Bohera shrugged. "Hmm. That may be true, but...you'd still need to actually HIT me, though, to do any damage..."

"...Huh?"

Suddenly, Bohera leaped high into the air, raised her blade over her head, and came crashing down in front of Steven, swinging the sword forward as she did. Steven didn't even have time to dodge or even anticipate the attack.

"...THAT'S FOR ALL THE VEGETA x BULMA FANS OUT THERE!" Bohera snapped.

Blood spewed out of Steven's lips, and a huge gash opened up on his chest, spilling out even more blood. Staggering, Steven coughed once before collapsing onto the ground, defeated once and for all. "No...no...I was going...to be king of the world...Viva La Vida..."

Jumping up and down, Masato cheered, "OH YEAH! WE WON! AWESOME JOB, SEMPAI!!!"

"Thanks." Bohera closed her eyes, and her body became enveloped in light. Soon, she split back into Chagecha and Doraji. Oddly enough, they were now both dressed in the same tank-top and jeans that their female fusion had just been wearing.

"I feel so delicious!" Doraji squeaked, striking a sexy pose.

"I feel...so degraded." Chagecha said, sighing.

Suddenly, Washio (Originally Kouzan, now shall be known as Washio) ran into the building. "Damn it," he cried, "I knew the battle would be over by the time I finally get back here! Curse you, Bob Dylan and all your ilk!"

"...Hmm, this fight has made me interested in being a dominatrix..." Himawari randomly remarked, causing rather frightening thoughts to fill Masato's mind.

As he put back on his original attire, Chagecha exclaimed, "Alright, we beat the second member of the 'Five Masters' or whatever. So...let's hurry up and find the next one so we could get this crap over with!"

The now fully-reunited Gekiatsu Group headed back out into the streets of Shinu-Tokyo, hoping the next 'Five Masters' guy would just appear to them without them having to actually search for the elusive bastard.

As they were walking along, Masato continued to glance at Himawari every now and then. 'You know...I've just thought about it, and although she kissed me for a long time after I SOMEHOW beat Queen Charlotte, we haven't mentioned anything about it since then. It feels so awkward...I can't tell what she's thinking at all...argh! It's so frustrating dealing with a girl that might be your girlfriend, and at the same time might not be your girlfriend at all! OY VEY!'

"I wanna run with scissors, dammit!" Doraji complained as he jumped around wildly while swinging a large turnip.

"You know," Washio remarked, "Maybe we should go to that giant freakin' PAGODA in the middle of the city?! I'm sure that Emo King guy is hiding out there!"

Standing in front of a random door in the middle of the street, Chagecha squealed, "NOOO! LET'S GO IN HERE INSTEAD!"

He opened the door and peaked inside...only to see a large vast desert before him. He was silent for a few moments, then he shut the door...and then opened it again. He did this for about five more times.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" Masato snapped.

"Guys...check this out..." Chagecha said, and he opened the door again to show everyone what was within.

"...HOLY CRAP, A DESERT?!"

"Uh...maybe we should just ignore this..."

"Sounds good..."

The group was about to turn around and walk away when Tiger Mask suddenly flew through the sky and crashed into Masato, who crashed into Himawari, who crashed into Washio, who crashed into Longhorn Onizawa, who crashed into Usagi, who crashed into Kotarou, who crashed into Doraji, who crashed into Chagecha. The impact was so powerful that they were all sent flying through the door and landing into a sandy pit.

Getting up, Masato turned his eyes to the door and cried, "AHH! WE GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!"

Unfortunately, the door slammed closed and crumbled to pieces, leaving the Gekiatsu High group now trapped in a seemingly endless desert...ooh boy...

"THIS IS THE WORST BBQ EVER!" Doraji exclaimed, throwing a piece of burnt beef jerky onto the ground. He then proceeded to stomp on the pitiful strip of meat until it was good and buried.

Even worse, not only were they now trapped in a desert, but the next of the 'Five Masters' was here, and watching them through the scope of his sniper rifle.

"Heh...gotcha." sneered a voice with a thick Australian accent.

Suddenly, the sound of a BANG was heard, and Himawari let out a scream. Masato gasped and looked over to her, and saw her fall on her knees while clutching her side. Blood began to seep out from between her fingers, and she was breathing heavily.

"H...HIMAWARI-CHAN!!!"

Looking out at the vast plains of sand ahead, Chagecha clenched his teeth and thought, 'Crap...we're under attack, and we can't even tell where the hits will come from!'

Suddenly, a familiar voice proclaimed, "Ahh! Didn't expect to see you guys again!"

Looking up, Chagecha and the others saw someone they hadn't expected to return...

...it was crazy bikini-chick...I mean, it was Kokoki, from chapter 2! Man, it's been a long time since then, huh?

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - Mechazawa is a character from the gag series 'Cromartie High'. It be awesome!

(2) - Ouenden is the name of a video game series in Japan that 'Elite Beat Agents' was based after.

(3) - Basically, in his powered-up form, Steven looks just like Broly from the DBZ movies. Look him up on Google Images for a reference.

(4) - The Fusion Dance is another reference to DragonBall Z.

(5) - These kanji stand for 'Okonomiyaki', which are a kind of Japanese pancakes.

(6) - Named after the famous song by 'Queen'.


	18. Chapter 18

_A hell of alot of stuff happened last chapter, huh? Steven was defeated, the group ended up in a desert, Himawari got injured, and Kokoki has made a reappearance! Now what will happen in this grand tribute to one of the shortest-lived WSJ series ever?! By the way...when will Himawari and Kotarou actually get to fight? Why, in the next battle against the fourth member of the 'Five Masters' of course...which won't be for about six or seven chapters from now..._

"...Who are you again? Wasn't your name...Tsurugi Tomoko(1)?" Chagecha asked.

"MY NAME IS KOKOKI, YOU IDIOT!" Kokoki snapped, bashing Chagecha over the head with her guitar case.

As blood poured down his face, Chagecha nodded and replied, "Oh yeah, now I remember you. You're Piyopi's older sister, huh? How'd you end up here of all places...?"

'Shouldn't we be more worried about Himawari's condition...?' Masato thought as he tore off a piece of cloth from Longhorn Onizawa's head(!) and used it to absorb the blood coming out of the wound.

Flipping through 'Tiger Mask's Guide to Picking Up Chicks'(2), Kotarou remarked, "You know what's weird?"

"What? The fact you're talking more than ever...?" Tiger Mask chided.

"Well, not just that...but it says you've been at Gekiatsu High for 108 years now..."

Tiger Mask gasped, and he quickly held up his hands to defend himself. "P-P-Please, sir," he whimpered, "I...I am not friends with any man with a blond afro...believe me...I'm not..."

"Oh, great...he's having flashbacks of his past life again..." Kotarou muttered with a roll of his eyes.

"Ahh...Ya-kun...where are you, Ya-kun?"

Wiping the blood off his face, Chagecha remarked, "So...are you here to fight again, Kokoki-chan?"

The bikini-wearing beauty shook her head, and pulled out a small bottle. Walking over to Himawari and Masato, Kokoki bent down, pulled off the top of the bottle, and poured a strange pink-colored liquid over the girl's wound. Everyone watched in silent awe as the concoction hissed and bubbled, and then fused into Himawari's body, replacing the skin that had been blasted off by the rifle shot.

"She should be fine now. I bought this special healing tonic just in case...she might feel like she's high on twinkies for a bit, but it'll be okay in the end." Kokoki explained as she got back to a standing position.

"I'm...I'm okay...?" Himawari stammered, still a bit shaken by what had just happened.

"AWESOMESAUCE!" Masato cheered happily.

'I think this is how all good porn fiction should begin...' Washio thought to himself.

Suddenly, several speeding bullets zoomed by Washio's face and hit the sand several feet away. Jumping back, he cried, "HOLY CRAP, WHAT WAS THAT?!!"

"The third member of the 'Five Masters' is a master sniper from a foreign country," Kokoki explained, "We need to be careful around here..."

"That I can understand," Washio replied, "But still...HOW THE HELL DID GOING THROUGH A RANDOMLY-PLACED DOOR GET US INTO A DESERT?! AND...HOW ARE YOU HERE?!!"

"Does that really matter? It's thanks to me that your friend here is going to live!" Kokoki snapped, cocking an eyebrow in question.

"YEAH! STOP BEING SUCH A JERK, WASHIO-SAN!" Masato cried.

"HEY, DON'T GANG UP ON ME, DAMMIT!" Washio shouted at both of them, and two more bullets whizzed past, barely missing him.

'I hope at least SOMEONE remembered that I'm still apart of the group...' Aku wondered to himself.

Far out in the desert, a tall figure was lying behind a sand dune, trying to aim his rifle. He wore a large hat over his head, and a long coat despite the heat. His large pair of sunglasses hid his eyes from view, and a small X-shaped scar was in the middle of his forehead. Lighting a cigar, he stuck it in between his lips and sucked on the end for a moment, taking his time. Another noticeable feature of the dangerous figure was his large bushy moustache. This man's name was Labuyo(3), and he was indeed the third member of the 'Five Masters'.

'Hmm...I seem to be off with my aim today...how odd...' Pulling out a copy of 'Tiger Mask's Guide to Picking Up Chicks' from his back-pocket, and read it aloud to himself for more information.

"Ah. I'm supposed to put my fingers THERE, huh...I see...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.................................................WHAT THE HELL AM I READING THIS CRAP FOR?!!" Labuyo tossed the book into the air, aimed his rifle, and blew it apart with a single shot.

"LET'S PLAY SOME TETRIS, MOTHERCLUCKER!!!"

Anyway, back with Chagecha and the others...

"This seems like it's gonna be one hell of a boring battle." Chagecha sighed.

"EH?? REALLY?!" Kokoki exclaimed in confusion.

"Yeah," Masato said, "The guy's a stupid sniper, for crying out loud! If he can't even hit us while we're just standing in place and talking for god knows how long, then we're definitely not getting anywhere!"

"Shiiiiiiiiiiiiit..."

Suddenly, Labuyo ran over to the group, slapped Chagecha across the face, and then ran back to his hiding spot behind the sand dune.

An awkward silence filled the air, and no one could dare bring themselves to speak.

"...It seems he HAS finally hit us." Longhorn Onizawa finally spoke up.

In other news, Kotarou and Tiger Mask have unfortunately discovered the Internet...and monster girls. "Whoa! Is that...a mosquito-girl with a big red belly?!"

Tiger Mask shrugged. "This bitch is full of blood, mostly human blood from multiple humans.  
Soon she'll lay about 5 dozen eggs in the nearest body of water and die. Eggs will probably hatch in about 2 weeks and little wiggling loli larvae will spew forth into the world..."

"HOLY SHIT, DO WANT!!!"

"Happy papi, happy papi," Doraji chanted over and over as he applied some lipstick and make-up, "Happy papi, happy papi, happy papi, happy papi, happy papi..."

Cracking his knuckles, Chagecha smirked and said aloud, "Hmph. I guess I bet go and take care of this bastard then..."

"Hold on, Chagecha-san," Kokoki interjected, "I think...I think something's happening over there...look at that huge accumulation of yanki energy..."

Glancing over to where Labuyo had hidden himself, Chagecha indeed noticed a large aura of yanki energy emerging from behind the sand dune, almost like a living flame. Suddenly, Labuyo himself walked up on top of the sand dune, showing himself in plain sight. The reason for his sudden increase in yanki energy...was that he was now wearing a pair of old glasses.

"Heh! Now I can aim MUCH bettah!" he chuckled.

'HE...HE JUST HAD TO PUT ON HIS GLASSES...?!' Masato thought in shock.

Dropping her guitar case on the ground, Kokoki wasted no time in attempting to unlock it.

Raising his rifle in his hands, Labuyo aimed once again, right at Chagecha's face. "DIE!!!" He pulled the trigger, and the bullet was too fast for our fedora-wearing hero to react quickly enough...

"S...S...SEMPAI!!!"

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - That's the name of a female character introduced in the main manga of Chagecha that the group was GOING to have to fight at some point, but then the series got cancelled...WTF, Weekly Jump, WTF?

(2) - The same name as the title to the only other Chagecha fic ever. Check it out.

(3) - Filipino for 'Chicken'.


	19. Happy Birthday

_Before we continue from the climatic point that we had left off, we shall take a peek on what the villains are planning for our plucky young heroes..._

Taikutsu (remember him from chapter 3?) swallowed a large accumulation of spit in his throat as he walked through the dark corridor. Close behind him were the final two, and most powerful, of the 'Five Masters'; Dead Sea and Ob-obob. The three of them were going to meet with 'The Heartbroken Emo King of Cosmos' himself to grant Taikutsu his new title as a member of the 'Five Masters'. This was mainly due to the intense inner power Taikutsu held inside, but depending on how he survives the test would determine whether he deserves to obtain a new seat of power or not.

Glancing over his shoulder, Taikutsu felt a shiver crawl up his spine. Dead Sea was a giant of man, nearly 8 feet tall, and he wore long black robes to hide his body. Even his face was covered; he wore a large purple motorcycle helmet with spiked wings. No one had any idea what he really looked like under that odd helmet of his.

Ob-obob was just as mysterious, if not more so. He had a large blond afro, a big pair of sunglasses, a plain blue shirt and black pants, finished off with some normal-looking brown shoes. His arms had long black scars and his skin was slightly tanned. He also had large shoulders, which made him seem even more menacing.

However, the most peculiar thing, the strangest thing about this man...was that he fought with his nosehairs.

"...We're here." Dead Sea spoke up, his voice resembling that of the infamous Sith Lord Darth Vader.

Taikutsu looked up and stared frightfully at the huge double doors before him. Pressing his hands against the doors, they slowly began to open, and a pitiful, soft voice broke the silence.

"Sweet love...lost in her own desires...her words, her actions, her thoughts...they could not show me...how much she really didn't care...that beauty with pink hair...never to be seen again..."

'The Heartbroken Emo King of Cosmos' himself was sitting upon his throne, his eyes closed as he held his hands out to the sky and continued to flow together these beautiful, yet sad lyrics under his breath. He was just as imposing of a figure as Dead Sea and Ob-obob; He had a long spiky mane of blood-red hair, most likely bleached. He wore long shoulder pads, with a cape that hung down his back. His entire body was elegantly dressed, and despite all the riches and power he held, his eyes always held a great sadness. He truly was what he was; a heartbroken emo.

Getting down on one knee, Dead Sea bowed and announced, "M'lord, we've brought Taikutsu to meet you to determine whether he truly deserves to be the first of our two new replacements for Curd and Steven..."

Emo King brought his arms back down to his sides and sat still for a minute. He then opened one eye and asked calmly, "Where is the other one?"

"We have received a message that she will be rather late to the meeting, due to certain circumstances..." Dead Sea replied.

"Hmph. If she plans on being late, then she most certainly cannot be of use to us...if you see her, kill her." Emo King grunted, and he left that topic to not be discussed any longer.

Suddenly, Dead Sea stood back to his full height, and pushed a rather nervous Taikutsu forward. "Speak your full name before our lord, and declare your desire so we can see how determined you truly are..."

Shaking away any fear he had, Taikutsu quickly saluted and exclaimed loudly, "MY FULL NAME IS SENTOSHI-SHIN TAIKUTSU(1)! I WISH TO BECOME A NEW MEMBER OF THE FIVE MASTERS...M'LORD!!!"

"Oh, yeah? Well, I'm the Walrus(2)..." Emo King sighed, and he glanced around the room with a bored look on his face.

Taikutsu was completely lost. 'Wait...what the hell did he just say?! Is he mocking me?! What the hell kind of leader is he?! Then again...he calls himself 'The Heartbroken Emo King of Cosmos' for damn's sake...of course he's gonna be a nutjob!'

Licking his index finger for some reason, Emo King turned his attention back to Taikutsu and grunted, "...You can be one of the 'Five Masters'...if you beat Dead Sea in a fight."

Taikutsu gasped. "W-What?!"

"By the way...the fight begins...NOW."

Before Taikutsu could even react, Dead Sea plunged his fingers into the poor boy's back, and pulled out a small blue ball. Poor Taikutsu shook violently for a moment before collapsing to the ground. "Ahh...ahh...ahh..."

"Hmm...it's his Yanki Ball..." Dead Sea muttered, before crushing it to pieces in his fist.

As Ob-obob scooped up Taikutsu's lifeless body to dispose of it, the Emo King began to reminisce on painful memories of his 'past life'. 'It was his Yanki Ball...it's just like...it's just like the Hair Ball...from long ago...'

Closing his eyes once again, the strange Emo King drifted off to sleep...

* * *

_Alright, back to the main characters! Wait a minute! Oh my god...Chagecha has...has he been killed already?! Damn, that was quick..._

"S...S...SEMPAI!!!"

Chagecha felt a jolt of intense pain in his stomach, and he fell backwards...because Kokoki had kicked him away.

"YAAAAAGH!!" In her hands were two golden electric guitars, and with a single mighty swing, she smacked the deadly bullet and it shattered to pieces upon impact. It Everyone, especially Labuyo (whose eyes bugged out of the lenses on his glasses), by this sudden save on the crazy bikini girl's part.

"What...what are those?!" Aku gasped.

Smirking confidently, Kokoki held out the guitars and explained, "Although I use the guitar case to attack sometimes, my true weapons...are these. The 'Omega 3 Ballistic Guitars', as they're called. The most powerful electric guitars in the world; perfect weapons for people with style...like me! With these in my possession, I am near-invincible..."

"Hmm...can they play music?"

"Hell no."

"That...kinda sucks..."

Lifting up his glasses to make sure he saw correctly, Labuyo snapped, "WTF??"

"That's what I'd like to know," Tiger Mask sighed, leaning his elbow against Labuyo's leg. He was soon kicked away without a second thought.

"Alright, what should we do?!" Masato asked Kokoki, who was lovingly hugging her guitars against her ample bosom.

Holding out both of her guitars sideways by their necks, Kokoki replied, "I'll take care of this idiot..."

"SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!" Masato exclaimed.

Holding out both of his forks sideways by their necks, Doraji replied, "I'll take care of this rib-eye steak..."

"SOUNDS GOOD TO ME!" Longhorn Onizawa exclaimed.

Washio snarled at this annoying imitation and kicked them both off to the side.

A loud ticking sound filled the air, and then flames burst out of the bottoms of the guitars. Using the roaring engines within the musical instruments, Kokoki pushed off the ground and flew straight towards Labuyo at an amazing speed. Labuyo raised his gun to fire again, but he was sent spiraling backwards onto the sand as Kokoki smashed her foot against his face.

"TAKE THAT, YOU SON OF AN AUSSIE!!!"

Spitting up blood, Labuyo rolled a few feet away before coming to a stop. He stared at the sand for a moment, contemplating what had just happened. He licked the blood off of his lips... and something inside of him snapped.

'I'M GOING TO KILL ALL OF THEM...AND HANG THEIR FRICKIN' HEADS ON MY TROPHY WALL!!!'

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - Taikutsu's full name is also mentioned in an upcoming chapter of Dragon Ball C.

(2) - A reference to the Beatles song 'I Am The Walrus'.


	20. Hey, Hey! We've Reached Chapter 20!

_Labuyo is prepared to show his true powers! Can the Gekiatsu High Group and Kokoki stand up against him?!_

"You...you brats..." Labuyo snarled, lifting himself to his feet, "You should be treating your elders with respect...and yet here you are, beating the shit out of me..."

"Sorry, but it's our job. Kick ass and look good. Comes with the territory." Doraji explained.

"Right...you guys were serialized in a Shonen magazine, after all..." Labuyo grunted, grinning at his own folly.

"That has nothing to do with it." Washio pointed out.

Reaching into his chest pocket, Labuyo pulled out a small handkerchief. Wiping his face with it, he proclaimed, "Well, truth be told, I'm not really a Yankee. Still, that doesn't mean-"

Suddenly, a huge white claw burst out of the ground beside Labuyo.

"...that doesn't mean I don't have any real power of my own."

Several more claws emerged, and they circled around Labuyo. Then, the owner of those claws arose from the sand, with Labuyo standing atop its head; it was a giant puppet that resembled an ant. Soon, even more smaller puppets popped out from underneath the sand, all of them resembling different kinds of animals and insects. Two of them were even large frogs with instruments at hand, playing a strange and chilling song to suit the mood.

"What...what is this...?" Masato stammered, his eyes wide as china plates.

Labuyo smirked at his fright. A dark shadow of twisted evil befell his face. "This is my greatest masterpiece, my army of killer puppets...The Fantastic Puppet Fleet. They are the result of over 30 years of extensive research, every single one of them carved and shaped to perfection. Steven and I are classified as the 'Killers With Clean Hands'; we usually fight through mind-controlled minions or, in my case, killer puppets. Anyway, you were all mistaken if you thought I was just a simple sniper...that's only a side-job of mine. Anyway, I believe it is time to destroy you all...with my own 'Five Masters'...the 'Five Master Puppets'!"

Labuyo snapped his fingers, and five portals opened up in front of Chagecha and the others. Each portal had a different scene within it; the first portal showed an island resort, the second portal showed an icy tundra, the third portal showed the inside of a fiery volcano, the fourth portal showed a bustling rain forest, and the fifth portal was completely blacked out for some reason. Immediately without warning, long puppet hands emerged from the portals and pulled our heroes in by sets of two until only Masato, Himawari and Usagi were left.

Chagecha and Kokoki were dragged into the fiery volcano portal, Longhorn Onizawa and Kotarou were pulled into the island resort portal, Aku and Washio found themselves forced into the rain forest portal, and Doraji and Tiger Mask were thrown into the icy tundra portal.

At that point, all of the portals then vanished except for the fifth portal, in which something was being to emerge.

"Have fun..." Labuyo said as he leaned against a ridge on the puppet ant's back, tipped his hat over his eyes, and went to sleep.

"This...this is bad...really bad..." Masato said nervously as a pair of long lanky puppet arms burst out of the portal and began pulling the body attached to it forward. Then, a face emerged from the depths of the portal; it resembled a young man with short black hair. As the rest of his body poured out, it became apparent that his human face was more or less a guise.

With the last portal dissipating into nothingness, the opponent Masato, Himawari and Usagi were to face was in full view. As mentioned before, he had the head and face of a young man, but his body was that of a large sphere covered in long spider-like arms, all of them flailing around aimlessly, looking for prey to tear apart in their fingers.

Its face devoid of all emotion, the many-armed puppet remarked, "My name is Atama(1). I am one of the 'Five Master Puppets'. I am here to kill all three of you. I do hope that you do not scream or wail too loudy when I tear off your limbs. I really hate it when people do that..."

Masato palm-faced. 'Dammit...I knew having a fight against a NORMAL opponent was just a crazy dream...'

* * *

_At the island resort..._

Longhorn Onizawa let out a shriek as the portal dumped him and Kotarou right into a large swimming pool out in the back area of the four-star island resort.

Bursting out from underneath the chlorine-filled water, Longhorn Onizawa took in a deep breath, and then exclaimed, "DAMN, WHAT A RUSH!!!"

Kotarou also swam back up to the surface, but he just spat some water out of his mouth and headed to the pool's edge without a word. Once the two yankees were out of the pool, a mysterious figure walked up behind them.

"Hey, hey, hey! You guys Labby(2) sent for me to kill?!"

Turning around, Kotarou and Onizawa came face-to-face with a tall young man with short blond hair, heavily-tanned skin, and dressed in only a pair of Megaman shorts. Taking a good long look at Kotarou and Onizawa, the strange man then proclaimed, "Yup, you're the guys! The name's Kuchi(3), one of the 'Five Master Puppets', although thanks to my artificial skin I look just like an ordinary human! Anyway...I hope you can forgive me for this..."

Then, a long needle-like weapon burst out of his face and pierced right through Kotarou's throat.

"Guh..."

"AIIIIIIIEEEE!!! KOTAROU-SAN!!!" Onizawa screeched.

Spitting up blood, Kotarou stumbled backwards and crashed into the pool. In a matter of minutes, his body had sank to the pool's floor.

Falling to his knees, Onizawa wailed, "NOOOO! KOTAROU-SAAAAAAAN..."

Licking the piece of skin on the tip of his needle, Kuchi snickered, "Heh...that was too easy..."

However, neither of them noticed that bubbles were still rising to the water's surface...

* * *

_Inside the volcano area..._

Chagecha and Kokoki both stood side by side on a shaky rock platform that had floated out into the middle of the smoldering volcano. Sweat poured down their faces as the intense heat and steam surrounded them.

"...This is our opponent, huh?" Chagecha grunted, glaring ahead.

Kokoki nodded. "Yes...it is."

A few feet from their position stood a tall hooded figure. Raising a cylinder-shaped arm from underneath its tattered robes, the figure proclaimed, "I AM UDE(4), ONE OF THE 'FIVE MASTER PUPPETS'. I WILL FULFILL LABUYO'S WISHES AND KILL YOU BOTH!!!"

Tossing off his robes, the villianous puppet revealed himself...and he looked like a giant letter 'C'(5).

'WOW...THIS GUY LOOKS LIKE A LOSER...' Chagecha thought.

* * *

Doraji and Tiger Mask were just lying around and reading Shonen Jump when their opponent, Ashi(6), appeared before them. She resembled an incubus of sorts with long tentacle-like hair, but her fearsome appearance didn't even garner any interest from either of the two yankees. Thus, she started to cry.

"WHAT? DO I SMELL DELICIOUS TEARS?!" Doraji exclaimed, jumping up and running at Ashi like he hadn't had a decent bite in days.

Then, once he was close enough, Ashi struck. "I HIT YOU WITH...ADULT FIST!!"

Doraji was sent flying backwards after she punched him in the face, and when the smoke cleared...Doraji had become a handsome young man of about 18 years old. He basically looked the same, only he had a more serious expression, and his aura was incredibly higher.

"I'LL CRUSH YOU, BITCH!!" Doraji screamed, his older voice so loud that it caused a nearby iceberg to shatter to pieces.

Ashi winced. 'Ugh...maybe I shouldn't have even bothered using that attack...'

"Good luck, mate!" Tiger Mask exclaimed.

* * *

Washio and Aku did not allow themselves to be distracted by the loud sounds of chirping birds and screeching animals as they stood in the middle of the immense rain forest, their weapons drawn. Standing before them was their designated opponent, a wizened old puppet that resembled an old man with a bad back.

His name was Karada(7), and he was the strongest of the 'Five Master Puppets'.

Holding up his cane, Karada spun it twice before pounding it back onto the ground. "NOW...IT BEGINS."

The moment those words came out of his mouth, the entire forest came to a complete silence.

"FEEL THE CARNAGE OF THE FOREST, YOU WORMS!!!"

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - Japanese for 'head'.

(2) - Not really a reference, but Kuchi's 'pet name' for Labuyo.

(3) - Japanese for 'mouth'.

(4) - Japanese for 'arm'.

(5) - It stands for 'Constantinople'...wut? O_O

(6) - Japanese for 'leg'.

(7) - Japanese for 'body'.

ALSO, PLEASE REVIEW 'DRAGON BALL C' IF YOU CAN, PEOPLE! THANK YOU!


	21. The Pinnacle of Violence

_A long time ago, on an island resort far, far away...KOTAROU HAS BEEN KILLED?! O_o_

"KOTAROU-SAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!" Longhorn Onizawa cried, falling to his knees in despair.

Kuchi smirked, and kicked Onizawa in the back. "C'mon, you little brat," he snarled, "Turn around and face me!! It's your turn to die now!!!"

However, Onizawa continued to weep over his friend's death. 'Always...despite my fearsome, strange appearance...I'm always...I'm always so...I'm just so...WEAK. Kotarou-san is my friend...and I just let him die...BUT I WON'T LET THEM GET AWAY WITH THIS!!!'

Raising his hand over Onizawa's head, a long needle formed out of Kuchi's palm. "DIE, YOU PITIFUL SCUM!!!" Laughing like a madman, Kuchi thrust his hand forward...

"EVACUATION OF FIST: HELL RESORT TOWEL!!!"

Suddenly, a hot fresh towel fired out of Onizawa's cannon at high speed, and it smacked into Kuchi's chest, sending him flying backwards. 'This...this is the power of resort towels?!' he wondered, coughing up blood.

Standing back on his feet, a powerful yanki aura flowed off of Onizawa's body. Turning to face Kuchi, Onizawa now looked positively pissed; his entire personality had altered itself. Of course, he wasn't going under any massive transformation like Masato had, but any possible power Onizawa had within him had finally been unleashed!

"YOU...YOU KILLED KOTAROU-SAN, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!" Onizawa screamed, "I'LL FREAKIN' BEAT YOU TO DEATH FOR THAT!!! YOU'LL SUFFER THROUGH WHAT YOU MADE HIM SUFFER THROUGH, YOU BASTARD!!!"

Kuchi got back to his feet. "Please...that whole 'intense anger unleashes true power' concept is so overdone, starting back all the way from Dragon Ball and probably earlier. This won't be an easy fight for you no matter what, so stop acting like you're such a badass!!!"

Gasping, Onizawa fell to his knees again and his yanki aura diminished. "You're right," he whimpered, "What was I thinking...?"

'WHOA! HE'S BACK TO NORMAL!!' Kuchi thought.

"Still," Onizawa remarked, getting back on his feet once more, "You don't seem terribly tough...you seem to be even weaker than those Metro Sekiranun High bastards..."

"WHAAAT?! How dare you...comparing me to idiotic yankees from such a low-ranked school!!! My power alone is stronger than that of Dong Zhuo, Yuan Shu and Feng Yuxiang(1) combined! Hell, I'm good enough to challenge even the likes of your leader Chagecha!!" Kuchi barked, not used to taking such insults.

In the background, the face of an old man formed in the clouds above. "The reason you can't win... is because you're just a puppet," Onizawa said bluntly.

"YOU LITTLE FUDGE-CRACKER!!! I'LL CRACK YOUR HEAD OPEN!!!"

Onizawa gasped. 'Was...was that a racial slur?!'

The old man in the sky nodded.

"HERE I COME, CHUMP!" Kuchi swung his arms in a criss-cross motion, and he sent several DS styluses flying straight at Onizawa's face. Closing his eyes, Onizawa bent forward, and swiped his hand. All of the styluses flew by without even hitting him. Opening his palm, Longhorn Onizawa revealed he had caught a small button in his hands!

"What?! What?! What the hell happened?!" Kuchi cried in confusion.

Dropping the button onto the floor, Onizawa proclaimed, "The Department of Health in Tokyo just called; they want their idiot back."

Kuchi snarled and held out his left arm. Suddenly, it began to unravel like rope, and then twisted back together to form a spear-shaped appendage. Smirking, Kuchi exclaimed, "How do you like that? You stupid little ugly dumbass! I'll tear through your guts!!!"

Longhorn Onizawa got into a cool pose and replied, "...Bring it."

Before anything could be brought, however, all of the water within the pool burst upwards into the sky.

"RRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Kuchi stopped in mid-run and looked up. "WHAT...WHAT THE HELL?!"

Longhorn Onizawa gasped as he watched a figure flowing with yanki aura emerge from the now-empty pool...it was Kotarou, and the hole in his throat had fully healed. His eyes were now a dark red, and small bolts of electricity burst off of his skin as his power steadily grew even more.

"K...Kotarou-san, you're alive!" Onizawa exclaimed happily.

Kotarou ignored the horned weirdo and kicked him off into the air. His sights set straight at Kuchi, the black-haired teen grabbed a handful of his own hair, tore it off, and it immediately regrew on his head. At that moment, his power became even more incredible, unleashing a giant burst of yanki energy that sent huge cracks throughout the entire tiled floor.

'This...this amazing amount of power...reminds me of that boy fighting Queen Charlotte...' Kuchi thought nervously, 'His yanki energy suddenly unleashed to a point of extreme, and the evil inside of him was shown for the first time. However, this guy...I can't even tell! His aura is so twisted, dark and strange...like his stare alone could kill me...'

Crouching down, steam flowed out of Kotarou's mouth as he hissed, "You bastard...you bastard...you bastard...you're just like...you're just like those bitches who went and dissed Yoshio Sawai-sama!! Because of you, Shinsetsu Bo-bobo and Chagecha ended early!!! I'LL TEAR YOU TO SHREDS, YOU HATEFUL MANGA CRITIC!!!"

"But...but I didn't do anything!!!" Kuchi cried.

Rushing at the puppet man, Kotarou smashed his palm against Kuchi's chest, and shards of wood and synthetic flesh were sent flying into pieces. Coughing up a strange black liquid, Kuchi knelt down and clutched his stomach; Kotarou had sent a powerful shockwave through his entire body with just touching him.

'D...Damn it...'

"NOW...FEEL MY WRATH, PARTICLE-MAN(2)!!!"

Kotarou swung around once, and Kuchi collapsed to the ground, his head landing a few feet away. Screaming like mad, the enraged high schooler snatched up the remains of Kuchi's body, and tore it clean in half.

Still screaming his head off, Longhorn Onizawa crashed back to the floor. Sitting up, he gasped and exclaimed, "OH NO...KOTAROU HAS CAUSED AN EVEN MORE DEVASTATING EXPLOSION!!!"

"This ain't even like Istanbul(3)..." Kotarou muttered, before falling asleep.

Onizawa wiped the sweat from his forehead and thought, 'Damn, I guess I really should just remain as a pathetic gag character from now on...'

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - All three people Kuchi named were Japanese warlords.

(2) - A reference to the song 'Particle Man' by 'They Might Be Giants'.

(3) - A reference to the song 'Istanbul' by 'They Might Be Giants'.


	22. The Doraji of The Future Is Grand!

_In the icy tundra stage, Doraji is now a handsome young 18-year-old man...what?!_

"...He really is handsome," Tiger Mask remarked.

Reaching into his pocket, Doraji pulled out a wallet. He then popped it open and revealed...HE HAS A MOTORCYCLE DRIVER'S LICENSE?! "That's because I'm 18, dammit!"

"Whoa."

Then, Doraji put on a '#12' Football jersey and a tinted eyeshield helmet(1). "I'm also on the football team!"

Tiger Mask gasped. "This...this isn't possible! C'mon, Doraji, tell me you still haven't gained any interest in girls yet! I mean, you're still afraid of cooties, right??"

Doraji smirked and replied, "Actually...I've already lost my virginity. Twice."

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?! ...Then again, a better question is why the hell you're suddenly 18...what happened to the stupid snot-nosed brat I knew and sometimes hated?!"

"The Doraji of your present time called out for my help, and of course, I heeded to his call! I remember seeing this happen because, after all, I am Doraji." Mirai(2) Doraji explained.

"That really makes no sense..."

"TELL ME ABOUT IT! I have to live through that pain everyday!!"

Meanwhile, Ashi stared on at this odd conversation with a look of pure confusion on her face. 'What the hell is going on?' she wondered, 'All I did was hit him...why did he turn into some sexy badass?! I don't get this at all...'

Now back in his original clothes, Doraji set his sights upon Ashi and exclaimed, "You! You are the evil puppet lady that has been terrorizing the poor dachshunds of New Hampshire with your vile ketchup-covered mud pies, am I correct?"

"Dude, you're so right you're off the charts!" Tiger Mask replied.

"NO, HE'S NOT!" Ashi snapped, "Don't encourage him!"

"Regardless," Doraji exclaimed, "You are a very evil, if not incredibly sexy, puppet lady, and thus you must pay for your insolence!!"

Ashi quickly regained her serious composure, and flashed a cocky smirk. "You say these things, but do you really think you can actually perform such deeds? I mean...isn't it against a gentleman's code to hurt a lady?"

Doraji sighed. "You are correct. It is morally incorrect to raise your hand to a lady..."

'Heh...sucker!' Ashi thought, sneering.

"However," Doraji continued, "You're just a puppet that LOOKS like a lady...so I can beat the shit out of you without remorse."

"DAMN IT ALL!"

'Wow...Doraji's actually cool now...was I like that once, too?' Tiger Mask wondered.

Rolling up his right sleeve, Doraji revealed a huge black burn that covered almost the entire length of his arm. He braced himself and dug the fingers of his left hand deep into the burn, causing a strange opaque puss mixed with blood to begin to seep out.

"A...Aaugh..."

"WHAT...WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING, MAN?!" Tiger Mask cried in horror.

Doraji forced a smirk and replied, "I'm...about to pull out...my ultimate techniques...of course..."

"Uh...okay..."

After a minute longer, Ashi decided to wait now longer. Practically flying straight towards Doraji, she screeched, "ENOUGH OF THIS, YOU FOOL!! I SHALL BRING AN END TO THIS ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!"

Doraji's face became overshadowed. "Sorry, lady...but I can't die now. Especially not with my woman waiting back home for me..."

'WHO...WHO THE HELL IS HIS WOMAN?!' Tiger Mask wondered.

Something clicked, and a small, pudgy fairy-like creature materialized into existence over Doraji's head. Holding up a single little finger, it exclaimed in a high-pitched voice, "Doraji-san...you have 30 minutes to fight in Omega-X mode. Go for any longer, and you'll die..."

Doraji tore his hand out of his wound, and blood and black pus trickled down his arm. "Heh...thanks for the info, Yōshoku(3). I'll try to make every hit count,"

Tiger Mask was totally speechless with his amazement towards this man who was once that bratty little child of a yankee. 'HE'S TOTALLY FLIPPIN' AWESOME, DAWG!!!'

Suddenly, Ashi was right in front of Doraji, and she swung her nails down upon his face. "DIE, YOU FOOL!!!" she cackled insanely.

However, all she ended up hitting was thin air.

"Uh...what?"

Behind her, a huge accumulation of light-green flames was pouring out of the ice. Slowly turning her head, Ashi watched as the flames melded together, forming the body of Mirai Doraji, and his eyes were now glowing bright with rage and fury.

'He...he...he teleported...?!' Ashi thought, a shiver crawling up her spine.

Tiger Mask said nothing, and he quickly took a snapshot with his cellphone.

Throwing his head back, Doraji screamed at the top of his lungs, "ARE YOU REAAAAAAAAAADY?!"

His explosive shout was so powerful that it knocked Tiger Mask on his back, and the ice underneath Ashi's feet began to crack.

Getting into a fighting pose, Doraji was totally ready to kick ass and take names.

Ashi felt like crying for real this time. 'Oh shit...I'm so screwed...'

Suddenly, Doraji smacked his palm onto the ground and a huge mechanical version of his head burst out. Standing proudly on top of it, he exclaimed, "ALRIGHT...CHARGE STRAIGHT AHEAD!!!"

Before Ashi could even react, the giant Doraji head sped forward in an amazing burst of speed and smashed into her, sending her flying through the air.

Leaping off of the giant walking machine, Doraji swung his arms up and several mechanical claws flew out of his chest and pierced themselves into Ashi's limbs, capturing her.

"D...Dammit..." Ashi cursed under her breath.

'Oh god...what has Doraji become in the years of his young adulthood?!' Tiger Mask shivered.

Doraji smirked. "Alright, time to end this little charade..." He pulled back his right arm, and swirling aura began to form around it. Soon, Doraji's entire right arm was like a giant drill created from yanki energy. Ashi let out a shriek as Doraji pulled her down towards him.

"SAYONARA, BITCH!!!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Doraji smashed his drill-fist into Ashi's face, and her entire body was torn apart, leaving nothing but a pile of woodchips and strands of hair on the floor. Without even getting to do a single attack, another member of the 'Five Master Puppets' has been defeated.

"Heh...easy..." Doraji spat on Ashi's remains, and they burst into flames.

Checking his watch, Yōshoku gasped and exclaimed, "Wow, Doraji! You won in ten minutes! You're really getting good at this!!"

'Damn,' Tiger Mask thought, writing this all down in his special Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo diary, 'Mirai Doraji is freakishly powerful...but he's also kind of a jerk. However, one problem really bothers me...'

Laughing happily, Doraji and Yōshoku did a little dance together.

'What really bothers me is...'

Doraji and Yōshoku continue to celebrate their easy victory without a care in the world.

'What really bothers me is how exactly do we get back the young Doraji to this timeline??'

That, my friends, will be a question for another chapter to answer...

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - A reference to the football manga series 'Eyeshield 21'.

(2) - Mirai stands for 'Future' in Japanese, I believe. That is the title for Future Trunks in the Japanese version of Dragon Ball Z.

(3) - Yōshoku refers to Western-infulenced cooking in Japanese culture.


	23. Chapter 23

Disclaimer: I do not own Chagecha.

Please check out my AMVs on Youtube. My name there is 'Hikasu3445'. I made some funny little parody videos too, of 'Geass Guy/Family Geass', which is just a bunch of Code Geass clips and Family Guy audio.

* * *

_Damn, the last two battles were pretty easy, huh?! Let's see how Aku and Washio are doing..._

Aku let out a curse as the oncoming vine slashed against his side, drawing blood. Several more ivy vines emerged from the ground below and wrapped around his legs, holding him in place.

"Dammit!" Aku clenched his fists, and a sweat drop rolled down the side of his face.

Karada stood on top of a huge Venus Flytrap and chuckled. "You cannot avoid my attacks, young one. You are in a forest, and the forest and I are one. Thus, you are within me, and there is no hope for your survival..."

"GODDAMMIT! WASHIO-KUN, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?!" Aku barked, "I NEED YOUR HELP-"

Washio was on his knees and shirtless as two giant daises whipped his back and cackled at his humiliation.

"Oh, you like it, don't you?!" screeched one of the daises.

"YOU'RE SUCH A DIRTY BOOOOOOOOOY..." giggled the other.

"Argh...why the hell am I doing this...?" Washio asked aloud through gritted teeth.

"THAT'S WHAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW, TOO!!!" Aku snapped.

Karada chuckled again and took out of a piece of bread. However, the moment he bit into it, he realized something. 'THIS...THIS ISN'T YEAST-FREE BREAD!!!'

Suddenly, a dark figure warped right behind Karada. "Sorry..." whispered a deep manly voice, "But...this is going to be my fight now,"

"Eh? Who are you?" Karada asked, not even bothering to turn around.

"I'm here to replace you," he continued, "You may act like you're strong, what with your name meaning 'body' and all, but you'll only die facing these two..."

"W...What? But...I just started...AND WHAT DOES MY NAME HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING, DAMMIT?!! ACTUALLY, FORGET ALL OF THAT! WHO THE HECK ARE YOU, ANYWAY?! HOLD ON...I KNOW YOU-"

Without another word, the mysterious figure thrust his hand through Karada's chest, killing the puppet instantly. Washio and Aku watched in speechless shock as Karada's body fell off of the Venus Flytrap and crashed onto the muddy floor below, shattering to pieces. Soon, the evil plants also diminished, and Aku and Washio were back on their feet and ready to fight once again.

"Man...that was really unexpected, especially so early on in the chapter..." Aku remarked.

Washio couldn't help but agree.

With the rays of light shining through the trees of the overgrown forest surrounding them, the mysterious new enemy was revealed...it was a man with short red hair, and he wore a leather jacket covered in bloodstained smiley-face buttons(1). He also had a cross-shaped scar on his right cheek.

"...Who are you?" Washio cried out in a brave voice, unsheathing his bamboo blades.

"My name," said this strange man, "Is of no importance...but you can call me A-chan(2),"

'LIKE HELL WE WILL, YOU FREAK!'

"...So you're our opponent now? What exactly is going on here?" Aku demanded to know.

A-chan shrugged. "I suppose you could just say...that it's time you fought a TRUE opponent..."

Washio and Aku both shrugged their shoulders and stood with their backs to one another, but still faced forward at the same opponent with their weapons drawn. "NO MATTER WHO WE HAVE TO FIGHT, WE WILL WIN...AND BRING DOWN THE BASTARDS WHO'RE ARE PUTTING US THROUGH ALL THIS CRAP?!"

A-chan was impressed. 'Huh...these two have alotta spunk...I'll show them my respect...by using my full power...'

"...The problem is, though, you're obviously not one of the 'Five Masters'...are you?" Washio asked.

A-chan shook his head. "No. I'm just a nomad who loves to fight...that is all,"

"...It still doesn't make any sense..."

A-chan sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, saying, "You guys don't really need to understand...trust me, it'll only get weirder from here on out..."

Aku cocked an eyebrow, but said nothing.

A-chan, however, continued to run his fingers through his hair, over and over, until it was completely straightened back. "Okay...I'm ready to fight," he announced.

Then, he bent down on his knees, stuck out his tongue, and snarled, "OKAAAAAY...WHICH ONE OF YOU MUDDAFUGGAS SHOULD I KEEL FIIIIRST...?!"

Washio and Aku certaintly hadn't expected this. 'HE HAS MULTIPLE PERSONALITIES?!'

A-chan's eyes spun wildly as he tried to choose his first victim. "I THINK...I'LL KEEL YOUUUU!!!" he screeched, and he charged straight at Aku.

"AKU, WATCH OUT!!" Washio cried.

Aku nodded, and he prepared his coal-black blade for a mighty swing. However...moments before Aku prepared to counter the oncoming attack, A-chan leaped to the left and jabbed his fist into Washio's stomach.

"Guuh..." Washio spat up blood, and staggered back slightly.

"WASHIO!!" exclaimed Aku in fear for his friend's safety.

Chuckling madly, A-chan grunted, "You think I'm so stupid that I wouldn't LIE about who I'm going to attack?! Feh...morons...I retain my original high-level intelligence, while still increasing my physical attack strength when I initiate my 'Beast' personality!!!"

Aku gritted his teeth, and then glanced at Washio, who was clutching his stomach in immense pain. 'Did that single punch really hurt that much...?' he wondered.

Suddenly, Washio's chest brust open, and his blood spewed everywhere. Aku's eyes widened in silent horror.

A-chan smirked. "The moment I hit him...the bomb had been planted,"

_JUST WHO IS THIS A-CHAN, AND WHAT EXACTLY IS HIS POWER?!!_

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - A reference to the comic/movie 'Watchmen'.

(2) - 'Achan' happens to also be the name (minus the '-') of a character in the Book of Joshua A.K.A. in the Bible.


	24. Mindless Stupid Interference

Disclaimer: I do not own Chagecha.

For some reason, I said that 'I do not own Chagecha Ragecha' in the last chapter, but I fixed it...I do own this fic, but not the characters that are featured in it, except for the OCs, which there are many of.

I think I'll try and get more into the story so I can update it again...please support my work.

* * *

_The battle against the mysterious A-chan continues, and Washio has already been taken down!!!_

"D...Dammit..." Blood spewed out of Washio's lips as he crashed to the ground.

"YOU...YOU BASTARD!!! WHAT DID YOU DO?!" Aku roared, and he swung his blade at A-chan's head...only to find himself cutting at thin air.

"...Huh?"

"Up here, dumbass!" shouted a feminine voice from above.

Aku looked up, and saw a young woman in long tattered robes standing within the canopy, looking over her nails in boredom.

'A woman?! Is this...another of A-chan's personalities?!' Aku wondered.

"Listen to me, dumbass," the woman snapped, "The real reason I'm here...is that I'm looking for a certain someone..."

"...A lover?" Aku asked.

"NO!! I'm on a mission...to find the prince," the woman still hadn't taken her eyes off her nails, which gleamed in the rays of sunlight that broke through the spaces between the many trees.

Aku tightened his grip on his sword's handle, just in case of a sudden attack. "The prince, huh? And...what does this 'prince' look like?"

The woman was silent for a moment. "Do you have tuna...?"

"...No..."

"Well, truthfully, I don't KNOW what he looks like...because he's been gone for ten years now...he could have completely changed his appearance by then..."

Aku thought about it. 'Why did she ask me if I had any tuna?'

"For some reason, I can just TELL that you actually know who the prince is," the woman purred, and she raised her eyes away from her nails for the first time...her eyes were as blue and clear as the sky.

"Actually, I don't...YOU D***-SUCKING PROSTITUTE!!!" Aku snapped, his rage now finally at its limit. Washio still hadn't budged an inch since he was attacked.

A scowl formed on the woman's lips. "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT, DUMBASS!!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU KNOW WHERE THE PRINCE IS, I'LL KICK YOU ANYWAY!!!"

The woman leaped off of the branch, and when she landed on the ground, a large hairy man with a hunched back and long sharp claws had replaced her.

"I'LL TEAR YA APART!!!" A-chan swung once in mid-air almost drunkenly, and for a moment, nothing happened. Then, Aku heard it...a faint hissing sound...

'...A BOMB'S FUSE?!'

Within an instant, Aku leaped to the side, and the space of air where his head had been only seconds ago suddenly burst into flames.

"H-HOLY CRAP!!!" Aku cried.

A-chan cursed under his breath and bit his finger in frustration. "...That's the only weakness of my 'Air Bomb' technique...with good enough hearing, unless I was able to touch you and plant the bomb inside, you can figure out its location...although hardly anyone has ever been able to dodge it...you're skilled..."

"So...that's your technique, huh? That's how you defeated Washio-kun!" Aku snapped, wiping the sweat from his brow. 'That was close...too close...'

Suddenly, A-chan's lips spread out into a toothy grin. "However, although my 'Air Bombs' are my main fighting technique...each of my 11 personalities(1) utilizes this power differently!!"

"..WHAT?!"

A-chan covered himself in a defensive pose with his arms, and then quickly removed them. In an instant, he had become a short, fat man with a goatee and long glittering crimson-red hair.

"Now..." A-chan chuckled in a thick Italian accent, "Time to finish you off!!!"

A-chan snapped his fingers, and within a minute, Aku heard the hissing sound once again. This time, however, the hissing sound was much louder than before. He wasn't sure whether to consider this a problem or not, but he decided not to waste any time standing still. He quickly dashed to the side...

...and his right arm exploded into pieces, sending blood and bone flying everywhere.

"W...W...What...?!"

A-chan could barely contain his giggles at this pitiful sight. "IN MY 'FAT LITTLE ITALIAN MAN' PERSONALITY, I CAN CREATE THOUSANDS OF TINY BOMBS, WHICH IS WHY THE HINT OF THEIR APPROACH SOUNDED MUCH LOUDER, BECAUSE YOU WERE COMPLETELY SURROUNDED!!! I GOT YOU, BITCH!!!"

Aku couldn't believe it. As he was falling to the ground, his other arm exploded as well, and A-chan howled with laughter.

'My arms...they're gone...'

"Hey...let's blow off your head now..." Just as A-chan was about to perform the final blow, the ground began to shake violently. Both Aku and Washio were down for the count, so A-chan was at a loss.

'WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!'

Suddenly, the ground burst open, and two figures came flying out...it was Chagecha and Kokoki, but they were both dressed like pole dancers. The defeated corpse of Ude laid at their feet.

A-chan blinked a few times in confusion. "...What is this?"

"WE...SHALL...AVENGE...OUR...COMRADES!!!" Chagecha proclaimed, striking a magnificant pose. Tearing off his stripper outfit, he was now back in his original suit, and he was ready to kick some more ass!!

"...Aren't you going to change, too?" Chagecha asked Kokoki.

Kokoki was silent for a moment. "These ARE my real clothes..."

"...Ah, I see..."

_WASHIO AND AKU HAVE FALLEN!!! NOW, IT'S CHAGECHA & KOKOKI VS. A-CHAN!!!_

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - A-chan having 11 personalities is based after Billy Milligan, a man with 11 personalities that all took on their own respective forms. His personalities are not the same as Billy's, however.


	25. Break Heart, Last Fart

Disclaimer: I do not own Chagecha.

* * *

_With Aku and Washio both defeated by this monstrous opponent A-chan, Chagecha and Kokoki step up to the plate!_

Dressed like a professional baseball player, Chagecha stepped onto home plate and got into a swinging position, a large radish held in his hands instead of a bat. Kokoki, also dressed as a baseball player, pulled her arm back and tossed a fastball, which Chagecha hit with ease, and both of them watched in awe as it flew over the stadium walls.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!!!"

"HEY, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?!!" A-chan snapped, wondering why the scenery was that of a baseball stadium for a whole paragraph.

Running over to Washio, Chagecha knelt down next to him. Placing a hand on Washio's head, Chagecha whispered, "I'm sorry...I couldn't make it in time to save you..."

'Huh...he feels regret...' A-chan thought as he watched the fedora-wearing stranger.

However, looking closer, he realized that Chagecha was trying to lift up Washio's hair to see what the guy's face actually looked like.

'HE'S A FRIGGIN' BASTARD!!!'

Now standing beside Kokoki once again, Chagecha crossed his arms and exclaimed, "Alright, you bastard!! Just who the hell do you think you are, beating up my allies and making things even more confusing than they already are!! Did that damn Emo King of Cosmos bastard send you here?!"

A-chan shook his head. "Not at all. I don't even know who this 'Emo King of Cosmos' person is. I am here on important business, to retrieve the prince and bring him back to his family, who have been worried sick about him since he disappeared 10 years ago..."

Looking at the golden guitars in her grasp, Kokoki wondered, '...Maybe I can play those theme songs from the new Sonic the Hedgehog games with these...'

"Well, in any case, you better heal our two friends right now!! I don't know how, but just do it!" Chagecha ordered A-chan.

A-chan sighed and nodded his head, saying, "You're right...I'm very sorry...let me fix them for you..."

'Huh...that was easier than I thought...' Chagecha thought, but then...he realized something was wrong.

"WAIT A MINUTE!! YOU SON OF A-"

A wide grin full of crooked yellow teeth spread out on A-chan's face. "...Dumbass."

A-chan snapped his fingers, and before Chagecha could do anything, the final two mini-bubble bombs erupted...from within Washio and Aku's hearts.

An explosion of blood burst out of Washio's chest, and his body shook violently before becoming completely still. Aku was the same, and a tense silence filled the air as Chagecha stared at their bodies in disbelief and horror.

Washio and Aku...were dead.

"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY CRAAAAAP!!!" Chagecha cried, falling to his knees.

"HA HA HA HA!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT, YOU BASTARD?!" A-chan cackled.

"HOOOLY CRAP!! THIS YU-GI-OH CARD IS AMAZING!!" Chagecha gasped; he was staring at the Kuriboh card in his hands.

"...YOU'RE A HEARTLESS MONSTER, AREN'T YOU?! AREN'T YOU?!"

"So, we just need to kick your ass, and then we can get back to beating up that Labuyo freak!!" Kokoki exclaimed, summing up the objectives for today's mission.

"RIGHT!!! ONE FINELY-GROUNDED BADDIE'S ASS...COMING UP!!" Tossing off his jacket, Chagecha now wore a huge demonic set of armor, along with a helmet covered in blood-stained horns.

"Hold on now!" A-chan spoke up, "This has nothing to do with me at all! I'm not even really supposed to be fighting you guys!"

"Well, that is true, but...you just killed Washio and Aku, so that basically means you're my next victim..."

"...Dammit..."

"ALRIGHT, HERE I COME!!!" Chagecha roared, and he charged straight at A-chan.

Suddenly, A-chan quickly reverted to his female personality and ran at Chagecha, fully prepared to collide into him. 'Heh...this fool doesn't know about my air bomb power; in this personality, I can insert air bombs into people through my nails!! I'll kill him in one fell swoop!!'

However, Chagecha had a different plan. Reaching into his pocket, he unsheathed...a Nintendo DS!

"SUPER FIST OF CHAGECHA: DS SMASH KILLER BLOW -X- FIVE!!!"

"WHA-WHA-WHAAAAAAT?!!"

Chagecha smashed the Nintendo DS into A-chan's face, and thousands of small eruptions blew out of his body. Coughing up blood, A-chan staggered backwards, and collapsed onto the ground, defeated with a single hit.

'Wow...Chagecha-senpai is amazing...' Kokoki thought in awe, '...Wait, why the hell did I just use the '-senpai' honorific at the end of his name?!'

Wiping the spray of blood off his face, Chagecha now turned his attention to the bodies of Washio and Aku.

'Dammit, you guys...why'd you have to die...?'


	26. Enter The ZimmerQueen 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Chagecha, but I do own the OCs in this fic.

* * *

_A-chan has been easily defeated by the strength of Chagecha!! Unfortunately...Washio and Aku are..._

Cradling Washio's body in his arms, Chagecha hung his head and whispered, "...You were a good friend, Washio-kun. I'll make sure you get the proper burial you deserve..."

Kokoki began to feel a bit sympathetic for poor Chagecha. '...Maybe I could give him a hug...or something...just a hug...yeah...just a hug...DAMMIT, WHY AM I GETTING ALL FLUSTERED?! While we're on the subject...WHY AM I STARING AT HIS NICE ASS, TOO?!'

Suddenly, two figures came out of a nearby clump of bushes; it was Washio and Aku, alive and well!

"...I can't believe you just HAD to show me your entire Pokemon collection in the middle of a battle!! We finally had a chance to show off our stuff in an awesome way, and you went and ruined it!" Washio grumbled at Aku, who just shrugged in response.

Chagecha blinked a few times, and then rubbed his eyes, and then squirted lemon juice in them before he finally realized what was going on.

"YOU TWO...ARE ALIVE????!!!!!"

"Of course...look at who you're holding," Washio replied.

Chagecha glanced down, and realized he had Weegee's corpse in his arms, and that Aku's corpse had been replaced with Waluigi's. 'WTF...?!'

"Yay! You two guys are alive!" Kokoki cried happily, although it was obvious she was just PRETENDING to be pleased.

"Yup, we're as chipper as ever, my dear!" Aku exclaimed, "Now, the only way we can return to reality is by defeating Labuyo..."

"...which means it's up to Masato, Himawari and Usagi, who weren't warped to a different location." Kokoki finished, realizing how hopeless it all was.

Chagecha stretched and grunted, "Well, let's just do something to keep ourselves busy while we wait..."

Washio thought for a moment. "...Three guys and a girl, huh? Awwwwwwwwkward..."

Kokoki smashed her fist into his face, and Washio was out cold.

* * *

_Back in the desert area, where Labuyo and the final remaining 'Master Puppet' face off against Masato and the others..._

"FLAMING AL-YANKOVIC BLASTER SMASH!!!"

Spinning her bowling ball key-chains wildly, Himawari smashed both of them into the face of Atama, whose spherical wooden body began to crack apart from the pressure.

"Awesome job, Himawari-chan!" Masato cried as he watched from the sidelines.

"You know," Himawari shouted as she leaped back from Atama swiping at her, "You could probably fight too if you tried,"

"Uhh...yeah, sure..." Masato replied, rolling his eyes.

Usagi glanced up at Masato and thought, 'So...he doesn't even know about his hidden power? The power he used to defeat Queen Charlotte?'

Suddenly, Masato knelt down next to Usagi, whispering, "Hey...did you know that I actually DO have the power to fight?"

'OH MY GOD, HE **_DOES_** KNOW?!!!'

"You see, I'm just staying out of this fight to help give Himawari a bit more confidence in herself and let her win the battle, because I doubt she'll lose against such a pathetic enemy like this guy..."

Suddenly, several lightning-quick small balls burst out of the holes on Atama's body and smashed against Himawari's chest and abdomen. Spitting up blood, Himawari staggered backwards, but she still somehow remained on her feet.

"...Or maybe she will lose."

Coughing up blood, Himawari cursed, "Dammit...what the hell was that?!"

Sitting on top of his giant Ant puppet LunLun, Labuyo chuckled loudly and exclaimed, "You were quite unfortunate to have to face off against Atama, my dear! He is one of my most powerful creations, after all!!"

"WHO GIVES A DAMN?!!" Himawari attempted to strike again, but Atama quickly dodged the attack and head-butted her in the stomach.

"D-Dammit..."

"DON'T WORRY, HIMAWARI-CHAN, I BROUGHT SOME TOOLS I STOLE FROM A BLUE ROBOT CAT I PASSED EARLIER(1)!!!" Usagi cried, and he pulled out what looked like a ray gun. Aiming the pistol at Atama, Usagi closed his eyes and pulled the trigger. A laser beam burst out and hit Atama square in the eyes.

"Oh yeah, and I have no idea what this will do!!" Usagi added.

"WHY DID YOU SAY THAT **_AFTER _**YOU FIRED THE GUN?!!" Masato cried.

Suddenly, Atama erupted in an explosion of light, and a new being was now in his place...a tall man with dark skin and a large furry top hat on his head. He had a very serious look on his face, as if he had expected this. Of course, no one else had expected this though, not even Labuyo himself.

"...My name is Zimmer-Queen Mongrel(2)...and it appears I have been taken from the crack fic I belong in and have somehow ended up in this universe..."

"THAT IS APPARENTLY WHAT HAPPENED!!"

"Whoever this freak is," Labuyo mumbled to himself, "He's gone and replaced my dear Atama-chan!! He better do something cool to make up for it...y'know?"

Glancing over at Himawari and the others, a shadow fell over Zimmer-Queen's eyes, shrouding his expression, if he even had any. Reaching up, Zimmer-Queen placed a hand on his hat, and a long green snake emerged from the top, and it slithered down until it came to a rest upon Zimmer-Queen's shoulders.

"...Clubbed To Death(3)..."

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - A reference to the famous Japanese manga series 'Doraemon'.

(2) - Zimmer-Queen Mongrel was also a villain character in my currently on-going crack fic 'Dragon Ball C'.

(3) - The title of the main theme of the movie 'The Matrix', or at least I think it's the main theme.


	27. Enter The ZimmerQueen 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Chagecha, but I do own the OCs in this fic.

* * *

_Zimmer-Queen Mongrel makes a star appearance...and now he faces off against Himawari and Masato?! _

'Argh...another enemy, and he's at full health too! And I'm already so injured...' Himawari thought, the pain of her battle wounds beginning to take effect.

"This isn't good..." Masato said out loud, "Himawari is carrying our house keys..."

"YOU TWO ARE LIVING TOGETHER ALREADY?!! KIDS THESE DAYS--!!!" Usagi cried, shaking his head.

"Hey, at least she isn't like Kokoki, who's pining after Chagecha but always afraid to openly admit that she actually loves the big idiot..."

Usagi let it all sink in. "...What the hell did you just say?"

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

Zimmer-Queen pet the snake on his shoulder gently, and then turned his blank gaze upon Himawari. "You seem to be...in pain. Would you like to rest instead of face against me?"

"Hell no!!" Himawari exclaimed, "This is just like the time my little sister got cancer!! I won't back down!!"

* * *

_"Himawari-chan, bad news...your little sister has cancer..."_

_"..."_

_"...ZOMBIE CANCER!!"_

_"HAH HAH! YEAH!!!"(1)_

* * *

"...Very well." Zimmer-Queen crushed the snake's head with his hand, "You deserve an Emmy, but that bastard Simon will be giving them out this year, so you can pretty much expect him to be the only one going home with a prize..."

"WHATEVER!!!" Himawari charged up her bowling balls again, and they burst into flames. "TAKE THIS!! BURNING RAGE PHOENIX!!!"

As her iron balls spun around in the air, the flames that flowed off of them began to take form of wings, and then a head with a beak, and finally a long wavy tail made of fire. A large fiery phoenix now floated several feet over Himawari's head, and it had its head pointed in Zimmer-Queen's direction.

"HERE...I...GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Himawari exclaimed, and she sent the giant phoenix flying straight for Zimmer-Queen. Surprisingly enough, he didn't even bother moving out of the way, and actually ALLOWED the large flaming bird to crash down upon him.

"HOOOLY CRAP, HE'S A SUICIDAL MOFO!!" Masato cried from the sidelines.

Himawari stared at the large flaming wreckage in front of her. "No," she said, clenching his fists, "He's...he's still alive..."

Masato was about to ask what Himawari meant, but then he saw it: a figure slowly walking out of the flames. His body was covered in terrible burns, and his top hat had been destroyed, but Zimmer-Queen Mongrel was still alive...and a strange scythe-like tentacle was dangling from the top of his head.

"YOU HAVE AWAKENED ZZ-METALLICA(2) WITH YOUR DAMN ATTACK!!!" Zimmer-Queen roared, his face twisted with a sudden fury. The tentacle twisted around in the air slightly, as if trying to attack something that wasn't even there.

'You WANTED us to wake him up, didn't you...?!' Himawari, Masato and Usagi all thought in unison.

"I have had this parasitic being growing from within my skull since childbirth," Zimmer-Queen explained, once again devoid of emotions as usual, "I named it, fed it, washed it, and cared for it as if it were my pet. Eventually, my parents had attempted to have it removed, because not only I was a mockery of our little village with my horrible disfigurement, but my parents were mocked as well, and they wanted to remove ZZ-Metallica just to save their own reputations. Apparently, my darling little pet didn't like that, and it killed them right before my eyes. The rest, as they say, is history...would you like to hear it? I wrote an auto-biography..."

"NO THANKS, YOU FREAK!!!"

"Oh...alright..." Zimmer-Queen bent down, and then dashed at such speeds that within three seconds he was already standing in front of Himawari.

"AHH-"

"DANG DANG(3)!!!" Zimmer-Queen swung his head back, and then thrust it forward, and his ZZ-Metallica sliced against Himawari's arm, sending a spray of blood flying into her face.

"Argh!! My eyes!!!" Himawari cried, quickly leaping back to get away, only to trip on a rock and crash to the ground.

Masato gasped. "HIMAWARI!!!"

"I...I CAN HANDLE THIS BASTARD!!!" Wiping the blood out of her eyes, Himawari spun her bowling ball keychains again, and smashed both of them into Zimmer-Queen's chest. He staggered back slightly and coughed up some blood, but he was barely injured beyond that.

"Maybe you should just give up..." Zimmer-Queen commented.

"N-NEVER!!!!"

"Himawari, please, you need to learn when it's best to give up!" Masato cried.

"S-Shut up!!" Himawari snapped at him, "I ALREADY SAID I CAN HANDLE THIS BASTARD!!! JUST KEEP OUT OF THIS!!!"

'Hmm...she's a stubborn one...' Usagi thought, smoking a cigar and playing with his curly moustache.

Himawari began to charge up her bowling balls again, when suddenly...her cellphones shattered to pieces in her hands.

She glanced down at her now empty palms in disbelief. "W...W...What...?!"

"Hmm...it wasn't just your arm I struck, after all," Zimmer-Queen remarked, "Now...I shall beat you down like I do to all of the foolish people who judge fanfiction and fanart as being 'always crappy' just because of a few bad authors/artists!!! THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS KNOW NOTHING, I TELL YOU!!!"

Masato clenched his fists and bared his teeth; his entire body was shaking with growing fury. He took a step forward, and the song "Paper Planes" by MIA(4) began playing in the background.

"I WON'T LET YOU KILL HIMAWARI, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!" Masato exclaimed, and a dark, twisted aura erupted around his body.

Himawari turned to Masato and gasped. "M-M-MASATO, YOU...YOU HAVE THIS MUCH YANKI WITHIN YOU?!!"

Usagi sighed. 'This looks like it might become rather troublesome...'

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - The entire flashback scene is based after a part in the hilariously random flash video 'Awesome Center Redux', which can be viewed on Youtube/Newgrounds.

(2) - ZZ and Metallica are both bands, but ZZ is a Japanese band.

(3) - 'Dang Dang' is the name of a song by the band ZZ, and it is also the song in the 3rd opening of Eyeshield 21.

(4) - A song that was used in the trailer for the movie 'Pineapple Express', as well as it was the song I used for my first real AMV.


	28. Enter The ZimmerQueen 3

Disclaimer: I do not own Chagecha, but I do own the OCs in this fic.

ALSO, I REQUIRE REVIEWS TO TELL ME HOW I'M DOING AND HOW I CAN IMPROVE, AS WELL AS REVIEWS KEEP ME INFLUENCED TO ACTUALLY CONTINUE WRITING, BECAUSE THERE'S NO POINT IN WRITING IF NO ONE'S GOING TO COMMENT ON IT!

* * *

_As the battle against the surprise guest Zimmer-Queen Mongrel goes into its 3rd chapter, Masato once again unleashes his inner power!!!_

Masato ran his fingers through his new mane of long, black hair and sneered in a voice unlike his own, "Well, well...I guess it's time to depend on 'Behemoth Cual' mode once again, I see..."

"Who the hell is this guy?! What happened to Masato?!!" Himawari cried.

Usagi sighed and explained, "This, Himawari my dear, is Masato's true unleashed form...the very thing he had used to save you against Queen Charlotte..."

Himawari was speechless. Masato used several of his black tendrils to lift her in the air and tossed her over on top of Usagi, who cursed himself from not having worn underwear that day. Zimmer-Queen watched in silence as more and more black tendrils formed out of Masato's skin, and a black substance filled Masato's eyes, making him look even more demonic than before.

"So...you have a very special power within you, it seems...much more than that pathetic girl..." Zimmer-Queen snickered, his ZZ-Metallica waving around wildly.

"Indeed I do...indeed I do..." Masato nodded.

Zimmer-Queen gave a thumbs-up and proclaimed, "Well, I wish you the best of luck...even though I'll still kill you..."

Masato smirked in response.

Suddenly, Zimmer-Queen glanced down at his hand...and saw his thumb burst into pieces, splattering blood on his face.

"Ahh."

Masato smirked and opened his fist, revealing a bloody chunk of the thumb held between his fingers. "You dropped this...heh heh..."

Himawari and Usagi both gasped. 'HE'S TOTALLY NOT LIKE THAT FARTING GUY(1) AT ALL...WHOEVER HE WAS!!!'

Zimmer-Queen sneered. "It seems...I've found a true opponent..."

Masato lifted himself several feet into the air, and raised his right hand. "YOU THINK SO, EH?!! WELL, I'LL SHOW YOU JUST HOW TRULY UNLUCKY YOU ARE TO HAVE TO FACE ME!!!!"

"HA HA HAAAH!!! THEN, COME AND ROCK ME, AMADEUS(2)!!!" Zimmer-Queen bellowed, laughing insanely. He really was enjoying himself now.

Himawari was about to call out to Masato, when an intense pain ran up her arm. Glancing down, she realized it was still bleeding. 'Ahh...I had forgotten about my injuries for a moment there...'

"If you wish," Usagi remarked, a shadow overcast on his face, "You may use my fur as a bandage. Us rabbits are well known for our healing properties..."

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?!!"

Masato waved his hands around in a circular fashion, and several small black orbs formed in front of him. "NOW, YOU SHALL BE DESTROYED," Masato cackled, "BY MY DAIFUKU(3) OVERDRIVE BLASTER!!!"

'D-D-D-DAIFUKU OVERDRIVE BLASTER?!!!'

Zimmer-Queen smirked. "...Show it to me, boy..."

"VERY WELL THEN...HERE I COME, YOU SON OF A BITCH!!!!"

Masato swung his hands forward, and the orbs clumped together into one giant orb, which crashed down upon Zimmer-Queen at an amazing velocity. However, when the smoke cleared, Zimmer-Queen revealed he had shielded himself...with a Kakugane(4)!!

'...THE HELL IS HE DOING WITH A KAKUGANE?!!'

"At least put some effort into it..." Zimmer-Queen mumbled, shoving the hexagon-shaped device back into his pocket.

"You'll regret requesting such a thing..." Masato flew back down to the ground, and shoved his fists into the dirt. Soon, long black shadows emerged from his arms and slid across the floor, growing large and larger as they neared Zimmer-Queen's feet.

Zimmer-Queen smirked. "Still foolish..." He leaped backwards, and then swung his scythe tendril, slicing the shadows to pieces, and tiny blood vessels suddenly burst along Masato's arms. Apparently, the shadows were connected to the nerves in his skin.

"MASATO!!!" Himawari cried in horror.

"Heh heh...just a flesh wound(5)..." Masato chuckled.

"Come on, come on," Zimmer-Queen coaxed, "Got anything else...punk?"

"Actually...I DO!!!"

With incredible speed, Masato dashed up to Zimmer-Queen's chest, and began pummeling him with his fists.

"ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA ORA(6)!!!!"

Zimmer-Queen spat up blood, and tried to place his hands upon Masato's head, even as he was being punched rapidly in the stomach. 'If...if I can get my hands on him...I'll win! I'll win! I'll win!!!'

However, Masato had already planned ahead. "YOU THINK YOU CAN BEAT ME?!!! DUMBASS!!!!"

Charing up his right fist with a glowing dark energy, Masato smashed it as an uppercut into Zimmer-Queen's chin, shattering the older man's jaw and sending him flying...straight towards Labuyo.

Labuyo realized what was about to happen, and cried, "ALL I WANTED WAS SOME BACON-"

A powerful collision, a crash to the ground, and Labuyo was down for the count.

Striking a gallant pose, Masato made a 'V' sign with both his hands and exclaimed, "THAT IS HOW WE DO IT...IN NEW BRUNSWICK!!!"

'...WHAT?!!'

LABUYO HAS BEEN DEFEATED!!! ONLY TWO OF THE 'FIVE MASTERS' REMAIN!!!

* * *

**_THE REFERENCE INDEX:_**

(1) - They're talking about Gasser, from Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo, who Masato bares resemblance to.

(2) - A reference to the song 'Rock Me Amadeus' by Falco.

(3) - Daifuku are Japanese pastries with jelly inside of them.

(4) - A Kakugane is the alloy that is used to create a Buso Renkin in the series of the same name, 'Buso Renkin'.

(5) - A quote from Monty Python.

(6) - A reference to Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, where "Ora Ora Ora," is the battle cry of the main character in Part 3, Jotaro, who he performs a rapid-punch attack.


	29. Explosiveness! Sturdy Sword Strikes Hard

Disclaimer: I do not own Chagecha, but I do own the OCs in this fic.

ALSO, I REQUIRE REVIEWS TO TELL ME HOW I'M DOING AND HOW I CAN IMPROVE, AS WELL AS REVIEWS KEEP ME INFLUENCED TO ACTUALLY CONTINUE WRITING, BECAUSE THERE'S NO POINT IN WRITING IF NO ONE'S GOING TO COMMENT ON IT!

* * *

_With only two of the Five Masters left, Chagecha and his crew set off to bring an end to the madness that the Great Emo King of Cosmos has created!!!_

'I'll fill in everything that was skipped between this chapter and the last one,' Chagecha thought as he walked alongside his allies, who were all back to full health and ready to fight again, 'We were able to return to reality after Labuyo was defeated, Doraji returned to his original 9-year-old form, and Kokoki left us soon after that, mainly because she claimed to feel UNCOMFORTABLE around me, which I never really understood. We tried to interrogate A-chan about this 'prince' he was looking for, but he had somehow lost all memories concerning such a thing. Maybe I hit him too hard? Well, he DID deserve it, but in any case...now we've come to-'

"...A SHHHHLIIIIIRCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!" Doraji screamed with joy.

"A what?"

"A circus..."

"Oh!"

The Gekiatsu High School Group A.K.A. The Doraji Group (Title Pending) had reached the western side of Shinu-Tokyo, where a large red tent had been set up. As the gang traversed through the large crowd of civilians attempting to enter the tent, Chagecha noticed large banners hanging overhead. The title of the circus, 'DEAD SEA'S EXTREME CIRCUS DE LECHE' had been written on the banners in bright gold letters.

"...The hell kinda name is 'Dead Sea's Extreme Circus De Leche'?" he murmured under his breath.

Suddenly, Doraji jumped on top of him and began pulling on his tiny moustache. "OH MY GAAAAWD!!! THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO EXCITING!!!!! I'VE NEVER BEEN TO A CIRCUS BEFORE!!!! TEEE HEEEEE HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE..."

Chagecha bashed Doraji over the head with a dictionary and screamed, "CALM DOWN, YOU DAMN LITTLE OVER-ACHIEVER!!!"

"Why is he so excited?" Himawari asked Washio.

"Ever since he missed his chance to go to the local circus in town two years ago, he's been pretty much obsessed with going to a circus at least once..." Washio replied, sighing.

"...Does he even know about clowns?"

"Nope..."

"Poor kid..."

"I feel the same way..."

Kotarou and Aku seem to have disappeared and gone off somewhere else, but none of the other characters paid that any mind.

Longhorn Onizawa was happily eating a bowl of udon, when he happened to glance up...and noticed someone standing in the crowd, staring at them with an intense glare. The person was a young man in a leather jacket and black jeans, and a T-shirt with a skull insignia on it. He had long messy silver hair, and his eyes were the color of piss. A shiver crawled up Longhorn Onizawa's spine.

The mysterious man reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small yellow rice cracker, which he immediately stuffed into his mouth and ate it, not once taking his eyes off of Onizawa and the others.

Longhorn Onizawa gasped. '...YELLOW?! A NEW RICE CRACKER?!! DID THEY MAKE A NEW FLAVOR RICE CRACKER?!! DOES IT TASTE LIKE BANANAS?!'

The man opened his mouth and began to speak, but the commotion and chattering of the crowd drowned out his words.

"AT LEAST STAND CLOSE TO PEOPLE WHEN YOU WANT TO SPEAK TO THEM!!!" Longhorn Onizawa cried.

"Fine, then," the man said, suddenly appearing right behind Longhorn Onizawa, "My name is Sturdy Sword...and I am one of the performers at this circus...or, really, I am one of the followers of Master Dead Sea..."

"H-H-HOLY CRAP!!" Longhorn Onizawa cried, dropping his bowl of udon noodles onto the floor, "THIS IS AS SHOCKING AS THE TIME I TRIED TO PERFORM THE GERMAN SURPLEX ON A KANGAROO...AND GOT MY ASS KICKED!!!"

"Good-bye...Longhorn Fereferius Juvenile Onizawa-kun..." Sturdy Sword snarled, pulling out a pistol.

'HOW DOES THIS GUY KNOW MY FULL NAME?! ...AND IF HIS NAME IS 'STURDY SWORD', WHY DOES HE FIGHT WITH A GUN?!!!'

"SAYONARA...SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG(1)!!!!"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA...T?!!"

However, just before Sturdy Sword pulled the trigger, something wet smacked him right in the face. it was...

"WHO THE HELL THREW A GIANT PIECE OF SUSHI IN MY FACE?!!" Sturdy Sword gasped, holding the large piece of raw fish wrapped with seaweed in his arms.

"That would be me!" exclaimed Chagecha, standing on top of a large bald man's head to actually make himself noticable within the immense crowd.

Both Chagecha and Sturdy Sword exchanged powerful glares, and yanki aura was flowing off their bodies like the flames of hell.

'This...this is one hell of a bloodlust...' Longhorn Onizawa thought.

"..." Sturdy Sword turned his pistol's aim towards Chagecha.

"..." Chagecha put on a pair of spiked knuckles and a headband that read 'GO GO NIPPON!' in big red letters.

The situation was dire, indeed...


	30. The Battles Are Set! Dead Sea Arc Starts

Disclaimer: I do not own Chagecha, but I do own the OCs in this fic.

ALSO, I REQUIRE REVIEWS TO TELL ME HOW I'M DOING AND HOW I CAN IMPROVE, AS WELL AS REVIEWS KEEP ME INFLUENCED TO ACTUALLY CONTINUE WRITING, BECAUSE THERE'S NO POINT IN WRITING IF NO ONE'S GOING TO COMMENT ON IT!

* * *

Chagecha glared at Sturdy Sword.

Sturdy Sword glared at Chagecha.

Then, Sturdy Sword turned his pistol on himself and fired a bullet into his own stomach, and he collapsed backwards onto the ground.

"UHH...DUDE, YOU JUST DIED AFTER ONLY THREE SENTENCES INTO THE CHAPTER!!!" Longhorn Onizawa cried.

Chagecha sighed and slumped over in despair. "My headband must have scared him..."

"I REALLY DOUBT IT WAS BECAUSE OF YOUR DAMN HEADBAND!!"

"...Hey, hey...I'm not dead..."

Both Chagecha and Longhorn Onizawa looked over to Sturdy Sword, and saw he was standing back up on his feet...except the voice speaking was coming from the face of a middle-aged man that had emerged out of Sturdy Sword's stomach. Apparently, Sturdy Sword hadn't realized it was there, either, because he glanced down and screamed like a little girl at the sight of it.

"OH...MY...GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWD...!!!"

"Hey, the name's Chump!" exclaimed the face, and Sturdy Sword lost consciousness, although the body was still moving like normally. Chagecha and Longhorn Onizawa both watched in horrified silence as Chump raised Sturdy Sword's arms, and began to pry open the young man's chest with his own hands. Blood poured out onto the floor like a waterfall, and more faces emerged from within.

"You see...Sturdy Sword's special ability is to summon us...the great Faceton!!!!" announced Chump, and then his true form burst out of Sturdy Sword's carcass, leaving shredded remains in its wake. It had the shape of a giant worm, with thousands of small stick-like arms and legs, but its body was made completely out of heads, which were screaming and chatting and yapping all at the same time.

For some reason, no one in the crowd seemed to have noticed this horrible creature, and Chagecha immediately figured that it was probably impossible to be seen by someone who did not possess an adequate amount of yanki aura. Suddenly, two large wings made out of bones sprouted from Faceton's back, and it flew off into the sky.

"COME...SHALL WE FIGHT?!!" Faceton exclaimed at Chagecha as it flew ever higher, who clenched his fists and gritted his teeth in preparation.

Turning to Longhorn Onizawa, Chagecha snapped, "DAMMIT, LONGHORN ONIZAWA, LET'S KICK THIS FREAK'S ASS!!!"

Longhorn Onizawa nodded in response. "RIGHT!!!"

* * *

Everyone seemed to inch away the moment they saw Aku walking past them. It was probably because he still wore his Shinu-Tokyo Police chief uniform, despite the fact that he was now a traitor to his own king. He had split off from Kotarou several minutes ago to go off on his own and check out this 'circus' for himself.

'I wonder if the Great Emo King of Cosmos will send any assassins to kill me for betraying him...' Aku pondered, 'Even if he does, I'll always come out the victor, because I wasn't the Shinu-Tokyo Police Chieftain for nothing!!'

Suddenly, faint music began to fill the air. Then, a soft voice began to sing:

_"Choco Chocopelli...eichen no ganzo stan...muku muku...furururu...doe tuke..."_

"...What the hell?" Aku looked around to try and locate the origin of this strange song.

_"Mala mala mola...hukkuru zodeki...yuu yuu pon..."_

The voice grew louder; Aku realized that he was getting closer. That was when he noticed a crowd of people standing around, apparently staring at some spectacle. He decided to see what was going on, figuring this was the source.

_"Hui hui...die...die die die...I'll kill you nooow..."_

Aku froze in his tracks. '...What did it just say?'

Suddenly, Aku found himself standing within complete darkness, and a pair of piss-yellow eyes were staring back at him.

'OH...CRAP...'

* * *

Masato was eating some dumblings he had purchased when Doraji began tugging on his shirt.

"SEMPAI! SEMPAI! SEMPAI!!" Doraji cried eagerly.

"What is it?" Masato snapped, "And since when the hell do you call me 'sempai'? You don't even use honorifics, you bloody little twit..."

"I GOT THIS BOOK!!" Doraji exclaimed, holding up a Mahou Sensei Negima! hentai doujinshi.

Spitting out his dumpling, Masato gasped, "W-W-WHERE THE HELL DID YOU FIND THAT?!!"

"That guy gave it to me..." Doraji said, pointing to a large man wearing an outfit made out of black fathers and a top hat covered in red stripes. He was handing out porn magazines to little underage children...and Doraji!!!

'HE COULD AT LEAST GIVE THOSE TO GUYS LIKE ME!!! I'LL KICK HIS ASS!!!' Masato thought.

* * *

"So, when does the actual circus show start?" Himawari asked Washio as they were walking around, Kotarou close behind them.

"Not for another hour, it seems..." Washio replied, looking over the pamphlet he had grabbed back at the entrance.

Kotarou looked around, and pointed out one of the attractions that had been set up. "How about we just pass the time checking out that place..."

Himawari and Washio looked in the direction he was pointing; it was a large dark-purple tent with a sign entitled 'HALL OF MIRRORS'.

"Fine..." Himawari sighed, "We have nothing else to do, anyway..."

As the three of them descended into the tent, a figure stepped out of the shadows...it was Dead Sea himself.

'I suppose,' he thought, as he also made his way into the tent, 'I shall take care of these three myself...heh heh heh...'


End file.
